I'm a sahm with 3 kids, DJ age 3, Alex age 2, and baby girl Diana 19 mo. My oldest son DJ was born with a congenital heart defect. By his first birthday he had 5 open heart surgeries to replace the valves on the left side of his heart. A year ago he had his sixth open heart surgery. When he was a newborn we were told he would very likely die, so I wanted another baby right away. I just knew I could not be without a baby. So my second son was born five days after DJ's birthday, less than a month after his fifth open heart surgery. In a sense I had two newborns. Both in diapers, bottles, neither crawling or even rolling over yet. Side by side my healthy newborn was just slightly smaller than his one year old brother. Five surgeries had slowed DJ's growth and he was barely hitting the 5th percentile for height and weight. My second birth resulted in an emergency c-section. I was recovering, my oldest son was recovering, and my baby was brand new. No wonder people thought I was crazy for announcing a third pregnancy just 5 months later. Diana was also a c-section, planned, but because of the back to back pregnancys my incesion came open, so extra long recovery for me. When my daughter was 4 months old DJ had his sixth open heart surgery which he barely survived. His recovery is a true miracle. Looking at him today he is outwardly a beautifully smart 3 year old, but having an underlying heart/lung condition that he can succomb to at any time. I feel alone, overwhelmed and depressed. I'd like someone to talk to that can help me cope. ↓
|