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Name: abby lukes

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Hi there. Im the mum of a 21 month old boy. He is super-busy, and now starting to get super-annoying. I am tired of hearing about blissfully happy parents.
The last two weeks he has been sick, so I have been having to sleep in his bed for half the night just to stop him from waking up every hour coughing. My partner's disdainful comments about how much he misses sex is not helping matters.
He hardly eats. He screams when I put him in a high chair. If I put him in an ordinary chair he jumps down with food bowl in hand and proceeds to smear it on the carpets.
He hates having his nappy changed. He always rolls over and crawls away, and when I have to hold him down he screams.
He has to drag me around by the finger everywhere. That was cute for about the first week, now its just a pain in the arse. I have to be dragged to wherever he feels like playing. When I extract my finger he screams.
Every time I say no (no matter how sternly), it is an incentive to do something again. And again.
He likes to bring lots of toys into the lounge and then not play with them.
If something is dangerous it is like a magnetic pull.
He wont go to sleep on his own, I have to rock him to sleep in a rocking chair with a bottle every time. Then usually when I lay him down he screams.
I know that being a first time parent I have probably made a lot of mistakes. But god help me, what have I done to deserve this? I am running out of sanity and dont know what to do. His father is no help. He works long days and doesnt do anything that might involve cleaning, or interrupting his sleep, or cooking. We have just moved to a new country and I have no family here, no friends, and dont really know anyone here. My birthday was yesterday and I think that was the most depressing day I've had here yet.
I know I should be going to mothers groups and playgroups and all that social protocol that mothers are supposed to do. But frankly, I liked my old friends, and my family, and dont really want to make new ones. I know that sounds stupid, but its really a bit more effort than I have left to give at the moment.
Im exhausted. Does anybody out there feel the same, or have any ideas that might help? Please? ↓

Name: joeys_mam | Date: Mar 24th, 2010 12:25 PM

Yes, I understand how you feel. I have a 2-year-old son, and I have to say the 'terrible 2s' are well named! I'm a stay at home mother too, and have been since my son was born. Although he will be going to nursery school and me back to Uni in September. But the days can be long and hard and lonely on your own. We rarely have a babysitter for our son either, so I'm with him pretty much 24/7. This business of your son refusing to go to sleep on his own simply won't do, nor will his refusing to sit in a highchair. Don't rock him to sleep, don't cave into his demands because it sounds like he is controlling you. I used to put a stairgate at our sons door, put him in his bedroom, he'd have his milk and a story and then I'd leave him. Yes there were times when he got upset because he wanted to be in the family room with me or whatever. But he soon learned to go to sleep without me. And now he goes down like an angel (most nights) You must be firmer for both your sakes. I think we all need to make an effort to be happy. I realise you liked your old life and friends but things are different now, and in order to be happy, you will need friends around you. I don't bother with the mother and toddler groups either. But I make friends at the park or at the swimming pool or with my neighbours. It sounds to me like you need a bit of company and reassurance, and you aren't getting what you need which builds up your frustration at life at home. And perhaps your son is sensing your unhappiness and frustration which is why he might be acting up a bit more. Normally children are 'bad' for attention. I know my son can be! I hope things work out for you. ↑