So my husband has been in a bad mood for a while now. I can't even really pin point when it started.
He's really quick to lose his temper, he's overreacting to small pointless things and he sometimes talks to me like I'm an idiot.
I said something to him about it this morning when he got pissed at me for asking if I could delete some of the pictures off of his camera so that I could take some more.
He instantly got snippy and was pretty condescending.
He started going off about how I wanted to delete HIS pictures for my own selfish reasons and to use my own camera since it's "perfectly good".
I told him he was being ridiculous and that I had "asked" him if I could and that I would only delete the ones that we already have uploaded onto the computer.
The argument kept going in circles because he refused to admit that he was maybe overreacting a little.
Even after I gave up and said "Fine you're right." he STILL kept going.
I started to cry because I was so frustrated and I asked him what was going on. He didn't know what I was talking about so I told him that he's been in a bad mood for a long time and getting mad at me for nothing and that I'm not the only one that's noticed it.
He then made some snide remark about me telling my friends all about it and I told him they they noticed on their own because he does it right in front of them.
Then it became what all of our discussions become...turned around to be something about me that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.
I called him out on it and said that wasn't what we were talking about and he just kept getting angrier.
He said he's stressed out at work but he's ALWAYS stressed out at work and he's never been like this before so I asked him if there was anything else going on and he said no.
Then he got mad at me for not reacting to what he said or something. I don't really remember why he got mad at me, it seems to happen a lot.
He kept asking what I thought was wrong with him and I kept saying I didn't know.
If I knew what was 'really' bugging him then I wouldn't have to ask him about it right? I could do something about it.
I don't know how many times I said "I don't know." to the same question...UGH!
Anyways, it ended with him apologizing and saying "I love you." and me saying "i love you" back but still convinced there's something that's bothering him, even if he doesn't even know what it is, there is something there.
Nobody just changes and starts flying off the handle over minor little things for no good reason.
I don't know how to get him to look deeper and really, really try to figure out what is eating away at him.
He gave me some instances that ticked him off but it's nothing so major that it should carry on this long.
I don't know what to do. I want to help him but clearly I can't and there's no way in hell he'd go talk to a professional about anything because he'll think that I think he's crazy, which is not the case. I just want him to be happy for a change.
Sorry for the lengthy rant you guys. I needed to get it out. ↓
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| Name: winnmom | Date: Oct 25th, 2008 1:40 PM |
Lola, my hubby can go through times like this too......thankfully they only last a couple days and then he goes back to his loving self............My Hubby has ocd......so I believe his is because of that......over stressing........
I do not know why this is happening with yours, but I suggest just give hime a bit of space? I dont know.........
sorry ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Oct 25th, 2008 2:56 PM |
oh my....well i don't know what type of job your hubby has, but my hubby has quite a stressful job....and not only does he have to work at work, he has to come home and do more work...lots of paperwork, lots of politic bullshit shit, lots of responsibilities...he gets overwhelmed...he does try to not bring it home, but alot of times he can't help it and i understand....i know when i have a bad day with the kids, i warn him to just leave me a lone or i might say something i'll regret later...lol....if hubby starts getting snappy, rude and disrepectful to me, i warn him first to curb his fkin' attitude, and if he continues, i give it right back to him....yes...it's a form of head games, which i totally can't stand...i hate head games BIG TIME, but sometimes it's the only thing i can do to get through to him. he recognizes my attitude, calls me on it, and i just say "well when you start showing ME some respect I will give you respect....if you don't want to talk to me like a civilized human being, then why should I have to? it's not fair to me to be treated the way you are treating me...i understand you're stressed out and i'm sorry you have to deal with that at work, but please try to not take it out on me. i'm your wife, not your co-worker so don't involve me in your bullshit." lol....
it has been happening alot here lately, but it's becoming more short lived...lol...if he starts i just walk away, ignore him, talk sarcastically to him, and then he realizes oh shit...lol...
there was one point a couple winters ago where he was sooooo bad, i think he truly was going mental....and i flat out told him "you need to go see a professional. get it out and leave it be. if you refuse to go talk to someone then STFU cause i don't wanna hear it anymore. DEAL WITH IT!!! AND FAST or i will drag you there myself if you continue. lol...
i don't know if this sort of thing works with you guys, but my hubby doesn't respond to soft words...i have to blunt and flat out nasty sometimes....it seems to work for us anywyas...
good luck. i hope you can help him sort his shit out before it eats him alive. he NEEDS to communicate and not fester shit....it only builds resentment, and often you can't go back from that, so fix it NOW... ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Oct 26th, 2008 2:58 PM |
| oh so true Bmes.....it has to be released somehow, somewhere.......and that is usually why stupid little fights happen that snow ball and is noway about what the argumentwas originally about.........to vent....to get it out......... ↑ |
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