Got a call this morning fron John from work . The x got a knock on the door from the police apparently Samantha stoll a girl at schools cell phone.
She said she had it to put her number in it and put it back in the girls open locker. When the class was asked if anyone saw the phone Samatha went to the bathroom and Said she found it.and gave it back to the kidWell the kid does not even know Samantha... So she lied! .And Samanthas phone number was not in it.
The parents of the kid are pressing charges against Samantha\Her parents So we all have to go to court. The stupid cop told Samantha not to worry about it they may just send her to camp and they would do fun thing and kiaking and have fun. What a jerk I want her to be afraid VERY AFRAID!!! How will she learn if she get to have fun for what she did!
At my sisters house she kept wearing tops lower then her push up padded ( her mother gets her) I had to keep telling her to change.
I think her attidue was also rotten on the trip but chalked it up to PMS and her hormones but I think it is all connected to her having low selfasteam and her losing respect for her mother after she saw photos of her mother "having sex" with a married man with 2 boys family "friend" That comes over every night from 9 pm up unillt 1 or 3 am .
This hole thing makes me sick! ↓
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| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 4:51 PM |
| They should ban kids from bringing their cellphones to school to avoid crap just like this! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:10 PM |
| In fact I think it should be viewed as a "no one at fault" case because any kid who brings a cell phone or any other device to school where it really doesn't belong in the first place should be shown "no mercy" if it's stolen from them there. Things like that belong AT HOME not AT SCHOOL!!! We never had the luxury of a cell phone or MP3 player in our day,and the rest of our toys stayed home while we were in school,these things should be considered no different. I think the cellphone should be obtained by the school until the end of the school year maybe then the kid would think twice before bringing it in again. The school has a telephone should an emergency arise,kids don't need to be bringing their expensive toys to school,that's not what schools about! They need to leave the junk at home where it belongs! ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:21 PM |
| Well She should not have taken it but Ido know what you mean. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:22 PM |
Lizzi, most schools allow cell phones at school now because of the Columbine shooting. A lot of the parents of the students there had no idea what was going on until hours after it happened because the student weren't allowed cell phones. Also, most cell phones nowadays come with a gps tracking system so you can always know where your teenager is :]].
but as for the situation you're in Serina, i agree wtih you. i think samantha should be punished, not rewarded, for the theft of the cell phone. perhaps you could encourage a group counseling session with samantha, the ex, and you. there definitely seems to be some communication issues between samantha and everyone, maybe that would help things a little. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:22 PM |
| I jst do not get why they are pressing charges when she got the phone back. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:26 PM |
| Spanky,i understand what you are saying but cell phones and Ipods and MP3players are basically just eyecandy for those students who don't have one but want one. And some will do whatever they have to to get their hands on it,even if it means stealing. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:26 PM |
| well i know it's not to the same degree but would you still press kidnapping charges even if you got your kid back? ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:28 PM |
| Serina you could make Samantha do some kind of community service work or suggest that the court make her do it. Just an idea! :) ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:29 PM |
They x and I have not spoken in about a yr I did offer to help in anyway and told JOhn to tell her but she just broght up the past about me not giving her our wedding photos...I do not know what that has to do withthis ...Well actually it has nothing to do with what is going on with Samantha at all. It is a long story about the wedding photos...threats by her lies and so fort. My piont is she will not let it go. I will never give them to her at this piont if I die I want them all burried with me.She is a nasty piece of work!
If you have the time or car to if you go in to families of Divorce board it is under battle over weddding photos.
Anyway I am always willing to do what ever is needed for the kids. She know this but is such a nasty person ..she make it hard. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:29 PM |
| iPods and mp3 players i DO NOT think should be allowed in schools. cell phones yes. i know some of the newer cell phones have mp3 capabilities but i hope a teacher can notice little ear plugs in a students ears and take the item away. cell phone usage during school i do not think should be allowed either. only during lunch/break time and emergencies. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:29 PM |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:31 PM |
| I will agree with you there spanky!:) ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:31 PM |
| i can understand how hard it would be, but it's for samantha. problems like these dont tend to fix themselves but instead they get worse. if you can think of anyway to help her, do it. you might regret not taking action later ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:32 PM |
| I think some students do try and take advantage of having a cellphone on them at inappropriate times though and thats what gets them in trouble. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:36 PM |
| i agree lizzi, it's kids like those that ruin it for others ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:49 PM |
I had an hour talk with Samantha and asked her what kind of person she want to be and explained to her why everyone was so upset . I also explained the fear we have that she may be going down the wrong path and need to look at her life . I told her what could hapen to he if she went down the wrong road and what great life she wou.d have if she when down the right path. I explained that one mistake can be a great lession learned and that I will love her know matter what but I may not like the chopices she makes or the words she uses..
Regarding the x there is just so much I can do with this matter I have tried.All Ican do is say I am here for the kids Now and always...what every there needed I will do not matter my diiscomfort. I love them like my own. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:55 PM |
| that's great serina! it's important that the kids know that you're upset because you love them, not because you 'hate' them. always keep that window of communication open as soon as it shuts, it's really alllllll downhill! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:58 PM |
| Serina,you are a very good hearted person! You remind me alot of my mom! She would say pretty much the same words you just used in your talk with Samantha! The children in your life are lucky to have you. You make good since and have good wisdom! ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 5:59 PM |
| I do hope she learns from this!!! ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 6:03 PM |
Thanks Lizzi. I jsyt worry so much about both of them.If things do not chang with Samamtha soon we will fight for full costody.
It is hard being a step mother my hands are tied alot of the time. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 3rd, 2007 11:12 PM |
Thank you ladies so much for you aid!! and Great advise !!!
Big hugs,
Serina ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:20 PM |
Holly cow I am so pevd! After have a long talk with Samantha and all ...wai t I am getting a head of my self
The x got a call from Samathas school counseld giving her condolances for the passing of the x's father...( he dies 5 yrs ago) So Samtha LIED again!!! Kid gloves off.
She was sapose to baby sit for her uncle tonight and get apid ( i think family should not get charged!) I scot guarded her new white coat her aunt gave her and fixed a few tops...I do not think I will let het have these things un till she can prover her self. I am so mad now . I am glad she is not in front of me!!!!
I mean what the heck! I swear I am at a lose of what to do now. I want to take everthing except the bed out of her room . If she can be a better person and prvew her self she can earn items bac ...I just am so mad GRRRRRRRRrr ↑ |
| Name: mspeachpit | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:24 PM |
| thats not a bad idea, serina! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:34 PM |
| It almost sounds like she is crying out for attention. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:37 PM |
| As for being paid to babysit for relatives,I see nothing wrong with that. It's still performing a service. I used to watch my husbands sisters kids and get paid for it. I gave her a hefty discount but i would not have done it for free just because we are family. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:41 PM |
| On the other hand i did watch my aunts kids for free but that was ONLY because she includes my son in almost everything they do like taking him to movies with them and out to eat and shopping,they even invite him to go on trips with them which sometimes he will go and it's all at no cost to me so I in return babysit for her for free. ↑ |
| Name: Jeanie | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:51 PM |
Good morning Serina....you know it's story's like this that make me thankful my girls are grown up. Out of my three girls I only had one who rebelled and believe it or not she waited until she was 21! She's 30 now and the most loving person and very responsible.
I very much agree with Lizzi. I think she is trying to capture someones attention and she's having to use desperate measures. And it's probably her moms. Sounds like her mom is really into herself and doesn't have time for own children.
I can relate to your frustrations because I have a daycare family in my care, over 15 years now and 6 kids, that I worry about from the time they go home until they hit my doorstep the next day.
It's a long story and I know it's not finished yet, but isn't there someway she could spend more time with your family? I don't know all the details but it sounds as if she needs to be removed from her surroundings for a fresh start.
And, just as a heads up.....I don't know what the answer is at all but I do know that I was a hellish child and it didn't matter to me one bit if my parents took stuff from me. Each child is different though.
I hoping the best for her! And your family... ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:55 PM |
WE spnd the weekend with the kids doing thing with them taking them to movies playing board games. Her & I spend one on one time together too.
Her Uncle that she sits for does all sorts of things for the kids and they invite all of us to parties and go bowling and she come too. They do not have much money and are stuggleing financially They are only gone for the max of 3 hours and it is almost always for a church gathering or class. I do think that they should pay her. I mean she is 13 yrs old and the kids go to bed 1 hr after she arrives. not much work..But may be you are right???
I think she is acting out because of her mothers behavior but that was last month??
I have no clue right now!!! I am at such a loss of what to do with her!!! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:58 PM |
Serina,
I know what you mean about your hands being tied being a step Mom.......It is a tough situation.....
I agree with Jeannie and Lizzie.......it sounds like a cry for attention.......not getting enough positiva attention from her Mom possibly for going for the bad attention........Oh boy....I know ......I have been there.........
It really sounds like she needs to be with her Dad and you a lot more.........( if that is possible) .....a grounded family.........It really sounds like the kids are #1 in your life.......thats what children need.........
All the best to you ....You are a wonderful parent! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 4:59 PM |
| Serina.....Have you talked to her one on one yet? It sounds like you and her have a really good bond...... ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: Jan 4th, 2007 5:01 PM |
Jeanie, thank you so much . WE may have to go fro custody but I do think her mother needs to spend more one on one time with her. She get home from work goes to bed until 8 makes supper and they her boyfroend comes over..then the kids go to bed and he goes home mucha later . We have the kids every friday after school untill late Sat night and one Sundays when ever she needs us to.No much time with Mom at all.At least when she is with us ..She is with us..if youknow what I mean.
Well I am going to run get coffe ...we ran out hubby forgot to tell me GRRR...I just found 3 .00 so off I go Be back later
Thanks you all again for help given and so yet to come in. I am so freeking out!!!!!! ↑ |
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