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I know that my message doesn't exactly belong here, but there wasn't really a heading to click on that covers my problem. I am a stay at home mom, going on 7 years; and I think this has gone so far beyond what I can deal with it's scary. My 6+ year old son Dr. Jekyll, turns into Mr.Hyde in less than two seconds over nothing. My husband just recently, (two weeks ago) went to Texas because of his job... no it is not permanant... he will be home before Thanksgiving. Our son threw fits here and there, and has always done his best to stay up all night (and keep everyone else up too), but lately it's been like living with a child I don't know. I have not been more "giving" on anything just because his dad is gone, I have maintained life just as it was when dad was home. I have tried to be more patient when he gets angry, and when he burst into tears over nothing, but I am also firm about trying to talk to him about his actions when he calms down. He has always been a very smart little boy, his school has him intelligence tested as a nine year old, so I know he understands the rules, and what I am saying when I tell him hitting hurts, and that saying swear words and lying is bad. Even so, the time outs have no effect, taking something away, (TV time or toy) causes him to find other things to occupy himself with (some things are far worse), and talking... huh! He will plug his ears or sit and hum or make spitting noises. I will tell him how rude he is being and remind him that we will sit there until he listens, he will fall asleep sitting there! He had ear problems, among other things when he was younger as well as less than a year ago, and that has made it tough. His ENT says his hearing is 100% and that his behavior is not due to any of these issues. His pediatrician had him tested for ADD/ADHD and said there was no way he was either of the two. I was told that we were not "challenging" him enough. So now I am sitting here going from site to site and seeing that I am "not alone" to say the least... not that that makes me feel any better, but whereas I see so many people with the same problems... I don't see many solutions. Help me please. I cannot let him get away with this just because I feel sorry for him, but I am at a loss. I am calling his school guidance counselor tomorrow, and I will go from there. Any other suggestion are greatly welcomed and appreciated. ↓
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| Name: bmes | Date: Oct 6th, 2008 3:21 AM |
i don't have a 6 year old....yet...lol....but in my honest opinion it sounds as though he's testing you, just like any other child does. he's CLEARLY not stupid, and most likely realizes the changes that are happening in his world, even though you are trying your damndest to keep a regular routine. don't kid yourself, he knows what's going on, and i'm sure he's picking up on the fact that you feel sorry for him and he's milking it. NOW, i know EVERYONE has their own opinion on this, but for ME, i would not feel bad whatsoever giving him a good swat on his ass!!!
and if you're not comfortable with spanking...cause we knows there's lots out there who aren't ok with it. and there's nothing wrong with that....but then you REALLY need to get in his face and MEAN it....oh my. i remember when my dad and step mom were going through a divorce (they had a child together), and their son was 5 when the divorce was happening.....that kid played EVERYONE like a fiddle. all the family felt soooo bad for my brother...oh poor lil guy....poor baby....and yes it was sad, and i felt sorry for my brother too, but i could tell he was lapping it up....people didn't give him enough credit...oh my and the tantrums he's try and pull...oh my god i wanted to strangle the lil bugger!!!! he knew EXACTLY what he was doing....there's was one incident one morning with his breakfast. dad put out a bowl of cereal for him and then hopped in the shower....so my brother comes into the room where i'm sitting and he says to me "can you make me breakfast, dad's in the shower..." so i ask "what do you want?" he says french toast...ok whatever...i don't mind. i walk into the kitchen and there's a bowl of cereal sitting on the table...so i ask "what's this?" he says "dad gave me cereal, but i don't want it...i want french toast..." so explain to him that if dad already put out breakfast for him that's what he eats....so he comes up to me....pushes me....and yells "I WANT FRENCH TOAST!!!!!' i of course say no and he pushes me again and runs into his room and slams the door....i was vibrating i was so angry.....lol....i walked into his room, dragged him back into the kitchen and sat him firmly on the chair and got RIGHT in his face...."you eat your cereal now and that's IT!!!!!" from the tone of my voice, i think he almost shit himself, cause he NEVER tried to pull any shit with me ever again after that....lol....
everyone had been so soft with him cause they were trying so hard to make him happy during such a difficult time and totally forgot the fact that he STILL needed some kind of discipline.
ooops...i'm rambling...sorry....ANYWAYS....lol...you may have a hard time trying to find solutions on the internet, and most likely you won't find much at all....best you can do is keep trying, and find what works for you. best of luck to you. ↑ |
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