i know i havent been on in a while. ive been home in florida visiting and hanging out. you know trying to have a vacation.. well right now im in tears. and ill tell you the story
when i was younger i was told my dad beat my mom. i tried finding him on my own but it never worked, even til this day i still tried to find him. well i was out drinking and came home tonight, and had a message. so i opened it with the title asking "is it you?" so i read and .. its my dad. i called the number right away. he answered everything that only he or my immediate family, not even scott would know. and i mean EVERYTHING. he had all the documents to show me, the court papers, everything. and come to find out alot of the things i was told by my mom, were lies. my heart is breaking right now i dono what to do or think. he is wanting to come out here to see me, knowing i leave wednesday. wanna know how he found me. i guess for years hes thought i was still up in massachusetts. hes been emailing random courtneys, people in my old town asking if they knew me or my mom. well someone, and i thank god for this angel. emailed him. asking him to verify some things. and he did. then he found me. he messaged me, and called me and talked to me for about an hour, mind you im still drunk even after crying for the past 2 hours. well i woke up my mom freakingout panicing bc i didn tknow how to think what to think what to do nothing. well then bc of her blood pressure she collapsed. and now im pissed at myself for that. but i really do have a guardian angel. thank you lord. ↓
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| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 12:36 PM |
Damn Coart. First off it is NOT your fault your mom collapsed. If being confronted caused an episode then she needs more medication...maybe a different kind even. Don't take the fall on that one!
There are ALWAYS two sides to every story. Maybe your mom exaggerated some parts of the situation and sugarcoated others. IDK. If it were me I would talk to your dad...maybe meet him. You don't know if this opportunity will come up again any time soon. What ever the outcome please remember that your mom loves you!! She may have told you some things out of anger or maybe she really thought she was protecting you. You have my private e-mail...use it if you need to! {{{HUGS}}}!! ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 2:35 PM |
oh man...that's terrible...but you know what? yep...so typical of exes...the whole he said/she said ordeal....my mom would do that alot...tell me things about my dad, then I'd confront him about it, and he'd tell a whole different story. they tend to say hurtful things just out of anger. so I learned that I had to take it with a gain of salt. it's so frustrating, but you never REALLY know....
I wouldn't feel guilty at all coart. and it never hurts to just meet him and let him tell his side of the story. and make up your own decision. good luck there, and I hope all turns out well for you. ↑ |
| Name: FatallyYours | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 5:06 PM |
| heres an update i woke up this morning to another message in my inbox, this time from a man named andrew. when i was young, he was friends with my mom about the age of 14-16 he took care of me alot, especially when we had a fire, he took me in so that i could go to school and basically supported me. well i guess i asked him 6 yrs ago to help me find my dad bc i always felt that part of me was missing. well he did it. hes been talking to him for a while making sure it was safe for me, he had him verify all my history everything. so i received a letter from him on myspace, this is how they all found me too, saying that i deserved to know my father and the whole situation and that im a great girl. my heart is sank. if i ever said i doubted god or humanity in any way, its been restored. ↑ |
| Name: momo | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 5:39 PM |
Court This is a gift really..I found my ex's father for him..His mother and him split when he was a small by and took him..then he never saw his dad again..When we got together I spent two years looking for him..one day i got the call..and it was him..
Like your mother there was all these things she had told her son..some things you dont know if they are true or not, but if you dont meet your dad i guess you wont know..it may hurt your mom yes..but i think you deserve to know for yourself..you are a grown women now and in your heart it seems as if it has been eating away at you to know..
Mind you..he may not be the man you think he is..but he may be this amzing person..you may never know if you dont go and see him..Just be prepared for that..and like dawn said sometimes mothers do things to protect their children..dont hold it against her..it could have been out of anger..she loves you with all her heart..she has been heere for you.. ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 5:40 PM |
Good morning Coart!!!! So nice to hear from you love...we have been missing you.
After reading all this....i find it not complicated at all. Imagine...home in Florida....(if i got this right and even if i dont....still.....)and ta da you get all this new information....and the opportunity to meet. Now...of all the times...while you are there...?!?!!!!!!! Meant to be Coart.
At the end of the day love....he is your father. What happened between to adults...years ago...is between them. Take the opportunity. Let him have him chance to tell his end of it. Let him have the chance to share with you ....... how he has searched for you, where its taken him, and how he has missed you over the years. Allow this man that. Allow yourself that. You MAY find.......time, has not changed a thing where you are concerned to him. Only made him want for any chance at all to spend a moment with you. One way to discover the truth for yourself Court.....maybe none of what i said will be true....but....only one way to find out. Meet.
As for what mother said...well.....leave it for the moment as what bmes said....and do just that.......leave it for now. You can revisit that later.....and ask why...once you do your own discovery. Concentrate now....on the time you have left there...which is little and precious....on yourself....and your father. Just tell mom.......for now....its just not important. Let it go for now. Cuz really...at the 'moment' its not. Her perception, reasons, etc., you have heard them all over the years. Now....she needs....to allow you...some respect...room...to sort things out for YOURself. Without....suggestion. Later when your home maybe....you can talk with her about all that took place, ask her the questions you have ......and then leave it girl. Leave it...behind if your meeting is a good one with your father...the reasons with your mother....need to be....left behind. Forgive. Why....because it will hinder your relationship with both at that point......and you...dont need that. You need a understanding...beyond that.....for Coart....let it be. Let them know that too. Firmly. YOU want to enjoy a healthy relationship with your father (if it all went well of course) and you want your mother to move on from a time gone by....that has no part in your life. That...was hers.
All the best love...... ↑ |
| Name: FatallyYours | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 5:49 PM |
| well if you're on my myspace. he sent me pics of him and i. i had never seen them, i never knew what he looked like. so theyre on there. thank you everyone. im still in awe and shock ↑ |
| Name: homemommichele | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 6:01 PM |
| I am sorry. I am so sorry. Families can bring so much unbearable pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sure your Mom thought she was doing the right thing at the time. Take care of yourself and remember no one can chenge the past, you can only go forward. ↑ |
| Name: FatallyYours | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 6:37 PM |
| why are you sorry? why is anyone sorry? besides braden this is the best thing i could of ever asked for. my whole life this is what i wanted. and the situation is a ilttle fuct up. but thats what makes it what it is im so happy. ↑ |
| Name: .RoSey. | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 7:10 PM |
| Thats great coart, what a great guardian angel you have =D ↑ |
| Name: FatallyYours | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 7:33 PM |
| well that guardian angel. one of them. dont know if you guys remember her. is loakley80 she was on here i guess a while ago. and come to find out shes married to drew. so if you read this leslie, thank you. ↑ |
| Name: FatallyYours | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 7:34 PM |
| oh and i meant to say he had the documents i havent seen them but if they trusted him. im sure i can. ↑ |
| Name: Randi | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 9:57 PM |
I'm so happy for you Coart! I'm glad your dad actually is a good guy and that you are finally going to be able to have a relationship with him. That's so awesome!
♥ ↑ |
| Name: Lola | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 11:16 PM |
| Name: homemommichele | Date: Feb 24th, 2008 11:52 PM |
| Sorry I misunderstood. I thought you were bummed about your Mom lying. I am glad you are okay. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Feb 25th, 2008 2:39 AM |
yeah...i thought the same thing michele....i think i read wrong...sorry coart....
well then i'm happy for you!! :-) lol... ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Feb 25th, 2008 5:55 AM |
| Coartney my brother and i are in the same situation, we dont know ou father, the last time we talked ot him was when i was 5 and i hardly remember him, well a while back i paid $10 and i found out where exactly my dad has lived for the past like 20 years and i got a phone number too, well me and my brother were dbating about if we should call or write a letter, and i think we are going to call, but im just scared to do it. there are reasons why my mom left my dad, i e abusive and was a drunk and did alot of drugs and im scared, bc i have a few pictures of him that are good pictures and i dont want my image of him to be forever ruined you know!! but now that i see im not the only one i might call my brother tomorrow and do it later. ↑ |
| Name: zoey9810 | Date: Feb 25th, 2008 5:55 AM |
| and im very happy for you!!! :) ↑ |
| Name: Ayame | Date: Feb 26th, 2008 4:05 AM |
| It's so beautiful to read that, I'm really happy for you that you are reunited with your father, it must be lovely. :) I'm very happy for you, it actually made me want to cry... I'm a sap for good things like this. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 26th, 2008 2:44 PM |
WOW!
What a blessing! What a miracle! yes with the timing...meant to be!
this is such unbelivably great news!!!!!
now about your Mom.......Coart, everyone has different views on what happened......your Moms perception and Dads may differ......one may not be telling whole truths....you know what? Dont get into the middle of it......it will drive you crazy~ enjoy this time getting to know your Dad.....you caan not change the past.....leave the problems between them 2. ↑ |
| Name: playmatex3x | Date: Feb 27th, 2008 1:27 AM |
| i am very happy for you but i also want to say be careful. i have been through this. i was told my mom was beat by my dad n he waited 18 years to want to see me n he said that nothing she said was true n he always tried to see me and even his dad said not to believe him. it may just be my dad, but as far as i am concerned, it was a mistake for me to meet him. he has been to jail plenty of times and is probably going back. i hope for the best for you and keep us updated. and i hope hes nothing like my dad is. i hope hes a great father you imagined he would be. ↑ |
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