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My son is 4 and visits with his father often. Around 8 months ago he came home to tell me that his father was breathing paint in a bag. I called DCS and they took a report, questioned my son, and sent his father a letter. All I wanted was supervised visitation. His father never replied to them and I have heard nothing else from them. I've tried calling them and everything. Now my son has come home saying these things again! I talked with my husband and we decided not to let him go back to his father's house. I spoke with his father as well and of course he denies doing it. This has become a much bigger problem because now my son thinks that its ok to do this. My husband and I tried to explain that it's not ok and it could hurt him really bad but he's set in his idea. How do I approach this very delicate subject? He looks up to his father so much. It's almost like he thinks he can't do anything wrong. I NEED HELP!! ↓
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| Name: winnmom | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 6:18 PM |
I would not give your son more information then needed....
I suggest letting him know that adults do things wrong as well.....Parents etc......do things that they should not.....explain how this is one of those things.....do not put his daddy down while talking to him......
keep it simple......no more info then needed....
keep us updated ↑ |
| Name: mommylj | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 6:20 PM |
| That's awful that your ex would do that in front of his child. Maybe you should take him back to court and get is visits revoked until he straightens up. If I were you, I would immediately take my child to a counselor/therapist. He's been thru alot it sounds like, and it may be good to be able to take to someone in the middle. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 6:21 PM |
| I agree mommylj........ ↑ |
| Name: mellisa | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 6:22 PM |
| I cant believe his dad would do that, and do it infront of his son!!! I guess just sit down and try to explain it to your son and how bad it is, also tell his dad even if he denies it to not do it that it is showing him bad things. Good luck this is a very touchy subject i wish you all the best. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 6:45 PM |
| Stop visitations immediately! That's what I'd do! ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 7:28 PM |
Go through the courts and say that he can only see him with someone esle there!
And that he needs to get help! ↑ |
| Name: Hiddy | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 9:44 PM |
| Yeah, I would stop the visitation, right away. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 10:17 PM |
I wouldnt pussy foot around...get back onto child protection and get your baby away from that man...He may be great to your son but something is going on in his fathers life that is on a downward spiral....drugs or in this case paint sniffing alter the state of ones brain....your son will eventually become a casualty.
get him away from him now...If your ex straightens up...you will know.
at the moment your son is young enough to be reassured that his dad is sick at the moment and he will be able to see him when hes better...deal with the bigger problem at the moment...your son and his reaction is the smaller of the two...his safety is paramount ↑ |
| Name: hdc_momof2 | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 10:45 PM |
| I completely agree but I have tried talking to him and he still thinks it is ok. I am so afraid i am going to find him doing something like that. I just don't know how else to say it without making his father look bad to him. and i definitely don't want to do that ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Jan 8th, 2007 10:51 PM |
why?....his father is bad!...at the moment...
remember his safety is first on the list....i dont want to sound mean...but would you be worried about how your son viewed your ex, if your ex in a hallucinated drugged out state did something that really hurt your boy...it can happen!
your ex is not worried and is going downhill...he cant be bothered hiding it from his 4yo even after child welfare investigated the same issue...this to me shows his state of mind ↑ |
| Name: hdc_momof2 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 2:42 AM |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:21 AM |
| Perhaps you can tell him that when grown ups do things, they aren't always to right choices. Explain to him that the fumes from paint could truly hurt your insides. I would explain that it affects your body far worse than if someone is smoking a cigarette because paint fumes affect not only the lungs you breath with but also your brain. It will cause bad, bad headaches and you won't be able to remember things like your own name. Try explaining as much as you can so he will understand. Maybe you could find a book at the library for a young child about drugs and read it to him. Next thing, you will know, he'll become the mouth piece and explain to his father all the negatives about what he's doing to himself, if he sees him doing it again. I don't know if this will help. So, sorry your 4 year old is a witness to such immature behavior of his father. ↑ |
| Name: hdc_momof2 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:45 AM |
| i've never thought of it that way. maybe he will talk to his daddy about it. maybe then he will finally straighten up. thanks for your imput ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 3:48 AM |
| Your welcome. I just hope anything will help. ↑ |
| Name: hdc_momof2 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 4:23 AM |
| anything does help I'm a young mother (24) and I can't talk to my mom about these things cuz she's clueless. I love her to death but when it comes to things like this she's a hopeless cause. I really don't have anyone to talk to about it. Thank God for these forums!lol ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 9th, 2007 5:19 AM |
| I agree this is a great place to chat with people and possibly get some incite that might help our situations or even to just talk about the weather. I keep to myself here around home only because I never know what might get repeated to my ex, who lives 5 mins. away from me. ↑ |
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