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| Name: Rose | Date: Jun 18th, 2006 10:09 PM |
| What a horrible horrible situation to be in. He does not sound very nice. I can't help but think that this is a cover up for what's really going on. I wonder whether he feels afraid - afraid that he may lose you. His illness may make him feel inferior and he takes it out on you. Maybe he pretends to refuse to do housework because really he is in pain and afraid to admit it. Speaking from experience I would say that it is imperative you get to the route of the problem. Firstly I would ask - was he always this way? If not then I would say you should stick at it and try to work it out. My husband turned horrible when our son was born and we had a period of seperation. We eventually worked things out because I knew I did not marry an Ahole. It turned out he was so afraid of doing something wrong as a dad and felt completely out of his depth that he took it out on his nearest and dearest. I was working all hours too so you can imagine the strain. Have you someone who can look after your son for an evening? I expect you are entilted to annual leave - book a day off and arrange a pre planned meal indoors with your husband. Tell him your plans and be excited and honest. Don't mention any negatives just that you are going to cook a meal and you can sit down and have a natter and catch up on events. Why don't you try an adventerous meal and tell himyou will need his help with it (even if you don't) During this time hopefully you will be able to discuss your situation in a non critical manner (at least on your part). Tell him exactly how you feel and ask him how he feels. You will know your husband better than anyone and I am sure if you chip away slowly during the evening you will be surprised what it might uncover. You cannot continue to sleep on the couch you are his wife and not his lodger. You havent specified how his MS made you be on the couch? Illness or not, everyone needs to be loved! Maybe you could at least share the same room, it's a step in the right direction. Have either of you researched his illness? I would take a look on the internet and maybe that could be a part of the discussion. Awful as it is, it is a part of you lives. Also, does your line of work mean you have to do so much travelling? Give yourself a break. In one of my previous jobs (just as a stop gap) it worked out cheaper for me to have a more local, less paid job. If you sat down and worked out your travelling expenses, would it be that much of a drop? Plus not to mention you are losing hours out of your day travelling and you do not get paid for those hours. Work out your hourly rate based on when you start travelling - I bet its a lot less than you think! Those couple of hours could be spent at home or on leisure or doing anything you wanted - a good SLEEP! I do feel his attitude is more to do with his own feelings rather than you personally. ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Jun 20th, 2006 11:18 AM |
| Perhaps he's suffering from depression as MS can cause this problem. You son should be able to give himself a bath at this age if you leave him a towel and some pjs out and tell your husband to prompt him into it. You need to talk to him about how you feel as MS is a chronic condition and he should still be able to do some stuff to help you. Perhaps he needs to get out and socialise a bit or maybe take a part-time job. ↑ |
