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Name: stacierob1
[ Original Post ]
My sweet girl cannot seem to connect with kids at school. I cannot figure it out. She is very sensitive, and immature for her age, but there should be at least one kid out there she can connect with.

My biggest concern is that when she asks kids to play, they say no, and she is growing tired of asking. She can only handle so much rejection.

I think my reaction is not helpful either, but I worry so much. I'm sure my attention to it is not helping things. I am a HS teacher and I see kids who are so lonely...and I worry about my girl.

Any ideas would be appreciated.
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Name: Mandysmom | Date: May 8th, 2007 2:03 PM
OH, I want to cry! I was always the type of kid who if I saw someone alone, I would invite them over to play, so I wish there was someone to do that for your little girl. Do you have kids in the area where you live? What about your friends? Do they have children your daughters age? Why would these kids say no when she asks them to play? I will never let my own daughter be that heartless and I will teach her that if she sees someone who wants to play or looks lonely, she'd better step up and play with them! I wish I had some good advice, but I am sure you've thought of whatever I can offer. What about play group types of things? I say, YOU try to make friends with moms who have kids in the same age group. 

Name: roseywosey | Date: May 8th, 2007 2:14 PM
yeah thats horrible.. poor lil girl =( 

Name: kathryn | Date: May 18th, 2007 10:12 AM
Why not to get her something so very special to pull her friends towards her!!!
www.beartosay.co.uk , personalised, cute, awesome teddies!!
Simple awe, trust me, they'll never betray her! :)
God bless!!
Love
Kathryn 

Name: Layne | Date: May 18th, 2007 12:09 PM
When my daughter was 7 she also had a hard time with the girls in her class...I just broke my heart..what I did was had a birthday party with all the girls in her class...That was all it took...we had a great time and they all saw her home and room...But at 7 I dont think many parents are pushing this yet....Now she is 10 and making friends...Another thing....invite over friends in the grade behind her...I always related better with the girls either above me or below me in school...took the pere presure off and ended up having a better play date...Good luck...:) 

Name: Lizzi | Date: May 18th, 2007 5:48 PM
Maybe talk to her teacher and see what kind of light she/he can shed on this since they are with your daughter all day long,maybe they see something you don't.
Another idea would be to have her take treats for everyone in her class one day,something popular that everyone likes!
Doing this could draw everyone to her and maybe at least one child would start a new friendship with her because of it!
Or you could offer a pizza party for her at your house and have her invite ALL the kids,I'm sure at least a few of them would come,and if the party is fun for them,your daughter will have made some new friends for sure! They will get to see her outside of school which might be a different way than they view her IN school. Maybe at school she is closed up more but outside of school she is more open and fun. Anyway,these are just suggestions,I hope something works for you and her! : ) 

Name: mommyboo | Date: May 25th, 2007 2:08 AM
Awww I wish we lived near eachother!!!My little 8 year old boy would sooo be her friend.He is a sweet kid who likes to play.You could try a play group where they have them do activities in groups.Then that way maybe she can conect with others a little more each time.I live in Indiana wish you were close LOL HUGS 


Name: dianne | Date: May 28th, 2007 9:08 PM
have you tried having some of the kids from her class over for a barbque just a suggestion,i really feel for your daughter hope your daughter makes a new friend/friends,GOOD LUCK XX 

Name: Rhonda W | Date: May 29th, 2007 8:51 AM
You can let her have a party and invite some of the girls from her class,and maybe it will help her to make some friends!!. 

Name: Layne | Date: Jun 2nd, 2007 2:11 AM
Hey Stacie did you plan any parties or play date with her class mates...If so how did it go? 

Name: Abigail599 | Date: Sep 28th, 2007 9:04 AM
I want to join this chat place s it okay if I am 8 years old? 

Name: kieran | Date: Jan 24th, 2008 7:59 PM
hi am kieran and u ageiam 18 

Name: Anonymous | Date: Mar 1st, 2008 10:24 PM
I think you should teach your daughter how to be more mature. Maybe talk to some of the kids your daughter is trying to be friends with. Ask them why they don't want to play with her. Then help your daughter become more of a social-butterfly. 

Name: tyler | Date: Mar 21st, 2008 10:09 PM
hello? 

Name: angel | Date: Apr 2nd, 2008 8:51 AM
i feel sorry 4 u poor girl/boy i would love u to come and live with me well? 

Name: Devante | Date: May 25th, 2008 5:47 PM
i want to put my boyto find friends 

Name: singlechristina | Date: May 26th, 2008 3:37 AM
thanks everyone here ! You'v changed my life a lot. I think I should share some good things with you all . I just found a very interesting dating site called www.singleparentloving.com ***which you can do a lot of thing there. Such as instant chat , blog, and searching the one you like in you area etc. It's really interesting. I think you would like it ! 

Name: karen | Date: Jul 4th, 2008 12:58 AM
Im having trouble helping my daughter make friends also. She is 8 and alittle bit of a drama queen, I want to find a playgroup or girls club were she might be around girls her own age that she might learn from. I live in fishers indiana 

Name: Jenn | Date: Jul 15th, 2008 9:58 PM
I'm a teacher too and I worry about the same things with my daughter although so far, she is very outgoing and seems to make friends. There are times though where I feel the fact that I work is a detriment to her social interactions. I can't get her to all the play dates that the stay at home moms have access to.
Have you tried having group get togethers] Such as a big weekend BBQ with lots of families in the neighborhood? Or maybe role playing with her how to make friends. Seven is a hard age but kids are also very fickle at this age and friends change as often as their moods. Don't worry too much. 

Name: Beauty | Date: Oct 27th, 2008 12:15 PM
COULD WE TALK 

Name: EaglePowers | Date: Oct 27th, 2008 4:37 PM
How about after school programs? Maybe that will help her try and connect with kids. Maybe even sports might help. 

Name: Valerie Murphy | Date: Jan 7th, 2009 4:29 AM
I can totally relate to you. My 7 year old daughter is very sweet and smart and is having a hard time reaching out and making friends too. She seems to make friends easily with little boys but only one girl and the one girl recently told her that the other girls in second grade don't like her. THat just about broke my heart. I am a teacher as well and I know the importance of making at least a few good friends. I am also looking for answers in this department. 

Name: Dawn0027 | Date: Jan 9th, 2009 5:01 AM
I went through something similar with my daughter when she was around seven. She was not only having a hard time making friends, but she was also being picked on by some of the kids. It hurts so much to think of your child being rejected and feeling sad. My first instinct was to find these horrid little bullies and beat up their parents. My second thought was to lock her in the house and keep her from ever feeling pain again. Since I could do neither, and since I knew that she would react badly if I reacted badly, I swallowed these feelings and tried to remain calm and upbeat about it.

I first asked her about her behavior with other children. I made sure that she shared with the other kids, that she was kind, and that she was polite in general. If she had been doing something that made the other kids avoid her, then we could easily deal with that.

Once I was assured that she was not doing anything to alienate the other children, I told her that this is not her fault. She is a bright, funny, sweet child and anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend. It is not right for people to pick on others, but it is a sad fact of life. Each of these children who pick on others, or reject others for no reason, have also been picked on, or would be in the future. You can not control what the people around you do, but you can control what YOU do.

When the kids are being unkind, do your best to ignore them. Try not to show that it upsets you because that will just encourage them. If a kid says something mean to you, ask them why they would say something like that. Most children, especially young ones, will feel unsure of themselves and back off if faced with their own behavior.

When she interacts with the other kids don't try too hard to make them your friends, that just makes you a target. Be polite and kind, and just be yourself. In time, the other kids would see how great she is, and want to be around her more and more.

I also told her to remember how she feels now, and if in the future she ever had an urge to pick on someone, to think back to this time. She assured me that she would never want to make someone feel as sad as she was feeling.

I don't remember exactly how long it continued after our talk, but I think it was just a couple of weeks. When she would come home upset, I would just remind her that she was a wonderful kid, and not to forget it. Eventually the bullies moved on to pick on other kids. They realized that my daughter would not give them the satisfaction of being upset. She ended up confronting two girls who called her names. They could not provide her with an answer and just walked off from her. These girls came back a couple of days latter and asked to be her friends.

She is ten now, and one of the most popular kids in her class. I am so happy to see her socially successful and I still remind her every now and then to be nice to ALL of the kids she comes in contact with. Each time the teachers tell me how sweet and kind she is, I just beam. :D 

Name: Bounty | Date: Feb 3rd, 2009 12:49 PM
Try with some different activities during the afternoon? Like team game? 

Name: mol | Date: Feb 5th, 2009 7:12 PM
i would like to be your kid imm only 7 thoe 

Name: mol | Date: Feb 5th, 2009 7:14 PM
i would like to be your childs freind but imm only 7 so 

Name: Michelle | Date: Feb 9th, 2009 2:27 AM
I'm in exactly the same boat as you. My daughter is ten and is very, very shy. We've lived in Australia for the past 18 months...although she was in the same situation in England. She just seems to hang back from the other kids, no matter how hard I try to convince her to join in. I know she does have a few friends in her class at school, but no special friend. My husband thinks I'm overreacting, but I'm with you...I just worry about her so much and just want her to be happy. 

Name: chelsey | Date: Feb 15th, 2009 4:22 AM
well yes it could be tired of rejection orr she could be like shy ya know? but u cud help her like go with her to some kids and then maby they can be friends.. or in class when shes at school she could write a note to some1 who looks like they need a friend and ask them to be friends.. i would talk to the social worker and see what he/she has in mind. well hope this helps you! =] 

Name: maddy | Date: Mar 27th, 2009 12:59 AM
I am sorry for her,what site is she on,I could meet her and become friends? 

Name: tinsy24 | Date: Mar 27th, 2009 1:02 AM
I know,I can't find a website for my 10 year old,she loves chatting.You mom's have any ideas? 

Name: maddy | Date: Mar 27th, 2009 1:04 AM
I agree tinsy24,i am going to search on google.AGAIN!! 

Name: tinsy24 | Date: Mar 27th, 2009 1:07 AM
I would like if they made a website for kids to chat with chilren they're own age! 

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