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Name: tracy
[ Original Post ]
my daughter has A.D.H.D, she is 7 now, ive tryed her on meds and i found she wasnt eating and looked very pale and unwell, shes now off the meds, im finding it really hard, as a parent im feeling alone, as i dont know any other parents with a.d.h.d kids, my daughter gets up at 4.30 in the mornings and doesnt stop the whole day its a nightmare, i do spend a lot of time with her, i use star charts and rewards for her good behavior, to go any where is a night mare, even to the shop its hard, its as if im on a losing battle, she needs my constant attention, i sit with her and do activities, as soon as i turn my back she is off the planet, her mood swings are terrible i just dont know what she is going to next, i know this a condition but god this is hard work, Every day is the same and i am really trying my best, And the attitudes from people, that havent got these kids when they say " nothing wrong with her our kids are like that " they just havent got a clue, and they dont want to understand, its annoying, Can anyone tell me if things get any better, Do these children grow out of this? All i can say is i see my daughter getting worse, it doesnt matter what i do, nothing changes. She shouts, she calls me names, shes aggressive, slams doors throws things, i give her time out but that doesnt work, take her play station away ive tryed everything , im just constantly trying to distract her from the bad behavior, and im tired and worn out. if there are any parents with adhd children that would like to chat leave your e mail address and i will get back to you, thanks
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Name: sharon | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 1:10 PM
yes my son does the same, and i no wot you mean with other peoples attitudes, you sound like you are doing your best, your a good mom, just hang in there take care and i wish you luck 

Name: Layne | Date: Apr 21st, 2006 2:05 PM
Tracy, Is your daughter on any restriction diets? What about red dye? I am starting to see a big connection with wheat in our house. I have 2 ddhd sons one is 24 and the other 11. Now my daughter is having focuse issues shes 9. My middle son michael is the worse of the bunch. And ive been through hell but it is getting better. He is learning the kids dont like it. So he is more aware of himself. 7 is very hard.
Try and make time for yourself. Take a long hot bath to escape. Light some candles and play some soothing music and shut the door. The music will calm the child as well. Get mood music.
A cup of herbal tea always helps us also. It calms all my kids down. sometime I think we get so wrapped up with thw doctors advice, we forget simple ways of helping. They love our tea moments. Its special to them. Layne 

Name: colter | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 8:22 AM
i was on meds a long time ago and my mom was the one to get me off the meds and i have been a happyer person 

Name: joe | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 5:53 PM
i feel your pain too 

Name: jane | Date: Apr 23rd, 2006 9:25 PM
your a really good mom, its real hard trying to bring these kids up, 

Name: Cynthia | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 7:47 PM
My son is 17 and was diagnosed at the age of 6. He was on ritalin until he was 12 and then he took concerta until present. He only takes the medicine when he is in school but it last through homework time. He went from being totally disruptive failing student to an 'A" student. The medicine was the only thing that could help him concentrate. They are unable to stay focused so they get on everybody's nerves and the rejection from everyone around them makes them angry so then they become aggresive. I recommend seeing your family doctor and explaining the problem. Medicine may not be your solution but maybe an ADHD professional could help you with methods to cope. Good Luck! 

Name: sady | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 9:22 AM

Name: Annie | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 12:59 PM
I have a son who is 7 & has ADHD & am a single mom too. I completely understand where you're coming from. Is it possible to get her on a lower dosage of meds or change meds to help her? My son doesn't care to eat since it's a side effect of his med but he needs it for my sanity. How is her behavior at school? 

Name: Gee | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 4:40 PM
Hello, Your not alone, I have had many days like that. My son is 12 & recently diagnosised. He is impossible to handle somedays & I know the feelings that your having. Yes it does get better, even though it seems like the whole world is crashing in on you & you cant do a thing to stop it & it is so draining to your mind & body. I have found that when he gets into these "hissy fits" as we call them, there is no talking to him so we simply say, "now is not the time to discuss it, we are all fired up & will discuss this later on today or tomorrow, but at some point it will be addressed to avoid this from happening again"!!! I am not sure how much this helps him but it seems to deflate the problem a little bit at the time. There are times when he wont back down & wants to continue to argue but we just walk away & tell him the same exact words he uses with us "I dont want to talk about it now, I'm too pissed". That seems to help him understand that we are allowed to feel that way too. Have you considering therapy for both of you? Perhaps her school counsler can recommend a therapist that works with both adolescents & parents or even consult your daughters physician. We go to a family therapist & it is working very very well. Remember there are things kids tell other people that they can't tell their parents. My son likes talking to the therapist & the counsler at school, it has helped him a lot. Remember she is still just a kid & think about how she feels, she is scared & just wants to fit in like all the other kids in school. Try not to make her feel different from everyone else just because she has adhd, she is still a little girl who has her whole life ahead of her & the adhd does not restrict her from anything it just means that things have to be handled differently on your end & she needs to understand that this is not her fault & needs to find a way to release her anger (please dont take that the wrong way, but kids with adhd are mad because they feel like they are different & dont what the be the way they are). But remember this, she is doing the same things all kids do, yelling at you, getting mad, and slamming doors, but it feels like it is the end of the world because of all the other crap we have to deal with raising a child with adhd. Think back to when you were a kid, you got mad when your parents told you things you did not like you, I'm sure that made you mad, now think how she feels, she is pissed off & can't control her emotions & feels like she doesn't how to fix things and then she sees your reactions and that may make it worse. I can only speak of what I've been going through & I know that my son has told us & the counslers that he feels like things are all his fault & he wants to fix them but he doesnt know how. It breaks my heart & I want to cry. Just remember you have the ability to change things & so does your daugther even though it does not feel like it. You need to take one day at a time & not let the crap that happened yesterday control the way you start the next day. Try to see things from your daughters point of view. I hope I have helped you, my heart goes out to you & things will get better, I have had many days like yours, your not alone. Take Care Reply if you'd like. 

Name: sssssssss | Date: May 3rd, 2006 11:14 AM

Name: emtf71 | Date: May 3rd, 2006 2:44 PM
I give you alot of credit to have her of the med. it is hard work I'm taking my 7 yr old off meds for the summer so he will have time to learn to cope with his problems. also he will be in a social group for adhd progam w/phycologists I will also be meeting with her to to learn how to teach him how to cope. I don't think it will cure him right away or anthing on that sort. But it will give him the starting tools.I'm always looking for help and I won't stop until I have exhausted all routes. This site is great to find information for all us parents that are trying for the best possible way to help are love ones. 

Name: jason | Date: May 5th, 2006 10:24 AM
is this a chat room 

Name: glo | Date: May 9th, 2006 2:13 AM
well i hate to say that my son is almost 12 and he was diagnosed add at age 4 and bipolar at age 6 and i have gone through nothing but hell all my life.. i cry almost ever day and i am loosing the best man in the world over these problems....i am always blamed for all his actions and everyone says that he is this way because of me..... i am also very alone and i don't know of anyone that can relieve the drama that i face everyday .....all those people i have to apologize to for hie behaviors and all the people that see him and say bad parenting ....i have done everything ....i do mean everything....but now it seems that getting him help means loosing him ....everyone is so fast at wanting to throw him in the system saying i can't help him so give him upand i will not do that ....my best friend just left me(boyfriend) tonight because he can't handle my son anymore......says i empower him to be the way he is......i am rambling and i am sorry.....i alsoam pregnant and have been crying...i feel my world crumbling..... 

Name: anna | Date: May 10th, 2006 12:12 PM
my daughter is 10 im feeling alone too, just keepe going and hold your head up 

Name: zoe | Date: May 10th, 2006 6:58 PM
i got adhd 

Name: misty | Date: May 13th, 2006 1:58 AM
[email protected] 

Name: Angela | Date: May 14th, 2006 8:36 PM
just logged on looking for somebody else feeling the same as me. I know exactly how you feel, everyday is a constant battle. My son Harri is 6 and is a total nightmare. I have no life. the only thing that keeps me going is hoping that he will improve but we have good days and bad. I hope that things improve for you. My email address is [email protected] if you need to off load then feel free. I don't know anybody else that has a child with ADHD and I feel as though everybody looks at me as though I am a terrible parent! 

Name: Beth | Date: May 14th, 2006 10:26 PM
I understand- been there. We're doing great but not until after a 10 day stay in a phychiatric hospital when my son was only 5. It was soooooooooooo hard to bring him there, but they got him on good meds and we have had the best year ever since then. As for the side effects, they are not fun. But what is the side effect of your life with your child being a total night mare? Was is the side effect of your child not having any friends? Get a good diagnosis, no matter what it takes and then find a med that just gets him so that he can begin to function well. Without that baseline, he can't learn how to compensate for his disability. Then get him a good therapist who can help him learn what comes naturally to other children.
Tea, red dye, wheat... all total crap theories. My son was raised organic and vegan (is only vegatarian now) and he was still chewing on me and destroying the house. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! IT'S NOT ANYTHING YOU ARE FEEDING HIM!!!! And it's not helpful when people say that it is. Don't listen to people who don't understand that some kids are just born different and event he greatest parent in the world can have an ADHD kid who makes their life miserable.
Good luck. 

Name: S | Date: May 15th, 2006 7:03 PM
This is a great web I thought I would pass it along. 

Name: isac | Date: May 17th, 2006 4:58 PM
ive got adhd 

Name: Kris | Date: May 18th, 2006 3:09 PM
sounds just like my son who is also 7.....You are NOT ALONE!!! Everything you described is exactly how it is with my son. He also gets up early in the middle of the night and is on the run! I tried meds and he also turned very pale and acted like a zombie!!! The dr just prescribed clonodine so I am hoping it works. I will just give it to him at bedtime to help him sleep better and then hopefully during the day he won't be so hyper! Good luck and yes I am told that about 40% of kids with ADHD grow out of the "hyperactive stage" however almost all ADHD kids will still have the "attention difficulty" throughout most of their life. I guess all we have to do is pray... 

Name: Lisa | Date: May 20th, 2006 5:34 AM
I have a 9 yr old son who is growing more disresepctful by the day. His teachers as well as helpers at shcool are fed-up with him and so am i. He simply is never wrong and has embaressed my and my husband beyond belief. I'm ready to just give up 

Name: fhgfjsgjggds | Date: May 24th, 2006 10:34 AM

Name: toni | Date: Jun 9th, 2006 2:02 PM
i know how u feel but what i found out is that ur never alone. 

Name: mamaeen | Date: Jun 15th, 2006 4:24 AM
Dear Tracy,
I just found out last week that 16 yr. old son has a.d.h.d.
After years of living with him not concertrating and getting bad grades in school. Severe mood swings,bouncing from one project to another, and living life on the edge. I got smart and took him to see a counsler.I thought his problems stemed from a recent divorce but i was wrong. if you would like to chat you may contact me at [email protected] . For now we are keeping him away from dangerous sports ect.. and found that children with a.d.h.d. all have talents and are highly intelligent. J's passion is drawing and gardening. It can be so very tiring but maybe we can get threw this with support. Maureen p.s. it does get better honest 

Name: Sharon | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 8:03 PM
My Son has ADHD and is on medication.Sometimes it's just nice to know there is someone else out there with the same feelings and problems.It would be nice to share trials and tribulations with you. My e-mail is [email protected] 

Name: kevin im 14 and have adhd | Date: Jun 21st, 2006 9:04 PM
hey annoying ...
watch ur kid look at her shes small, hyper can change from happy to mad to tiered in a wink if u sit there and watch u will start to laugh at how much energy she has. and time out wont work it just give her a chance to gather her energy and drive u insane ...
oh yeah take a way the playstion when in on the playstion im quite, calm ,and my minds not racing .. i think that u should give her a playstion, gamecude, xbox and a lot of different games
thats what my dad did and im annoying really annoying

yes she will grow out of it sort of. somewhere around the 7th or 8th grade when school gets harder 

Name: james | Date: Jul 3rd, 2006 11:07 AM
you are a good mom, i have ADHD and i know how hard it was for my parents, Dont give up, hang in there. 

Name: iamlisa | Date: Jul 31st, 2006 4:31 AM
oh my dear you are decribing my life to a T. i also have a 5yaer old that was first diagnosed with ADHD and then Bipolar disorder. I too felt bad about the not eating thing, so i went and got those nutritional shakes and kids viamins and that helps alot including my peace of mind. through all the reseaech i did before i put him on meds , i found that stastiscs show that kids that are NOT put on meds for their disorders are more likely to self medicate later in life, im a living breathing testament to that as i also was an ADD child not put on meds ,I spent most of my life as a drunk and drug addict ,Im sober now and also on meds. ialso found out that you do NOT grow out of ADD, EVER! beleive me i understand how it feels when your friends say that stuff ive heard it all over and over , its ssoooo frustrating. then i got it for having him on meds. you cant win for losing , so i stopped listening to everyone else that had no idea what they were talking about,and got him the meds that help him. He does eat after the meds wear off so we make sure that he eats even ifs its not a regular meal time. If you dont recinsider the meds, you will be putting your chid in a position of a lifetime of hell on earth,not to mention your sanity as well. I was so afraid that i was ging to kill him that i screamed at everyone until they would get us help. Im also finding out about support groups that really help and respite care groups thta i can hook you up with. I also sounds to me like your child is bipolar as well, and you dont want that getting out of control, beleive me.90% of kids and adults with ADD are bipolar and visa-versa. do yourself and your child a favor get her help now before it too late. Heres my email address: [email protected] God Bless and write me back with your thoughts,Lisa... ps this is hard work, the hardest thing ive ever been through 

Name: joanne | Date: Aug 23rd, 2006 4:41 AM
you needs another adhd companion,these kids can have posative results in bouncing off each other,its pure happiness at its best,,:),just watch for the negatives,too,but chin up nothing ever stays the same 

Name: dizzy | Date: Aug 25th, 2006 2:09 PM
Hi, my daughter is now almost 10. she has just been diagnosed with adhd. i've done many different parenting courses and have found that very few ideas have worked. her behaviour has just become less and less manageable as her impulsiveness doesn't allow her to withdraw from a situations to do" time out" and trying to make her just enraged her more. my other two girls and I, now have" time out" from her. i started with how much time her usual outbursts lasted, which was half an hour, i would tell her the time when she started and tell her the time we would talk to her again, it was really hard to do for the first week but by the second we had decreased it by 15 minutes. the next week she rebelled for three days. it was so hard after how far we'd come but it settled down and it works she calms alot faster and it takes away the stress, we also use this when out and about we allow her to walk ahead or just stand away from her for 10 minutes. it has stopped her running. I wish you luck,I know how hard it is, there were days when my daughter beat me black and blue whilst screaming abusesive words at me, but things are improving, and i try to remember she hates her outbursts too. 

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