I have spent many years and many dollars seeking answers for my daughters strange behaviours.Mental health was the first place I seeked help, they told me I needed to bond with my daughter, at that time Alex was 4years. My family were very negative and tbelieved I created the problems, they still think that even after Alex is formally diagnosed by a Psychologist, Paeditrician, GP, Speech pathalogist, Pschychiatrist.
Alex was medicated until just recently, I stop her taking a daily dose of Respiradel 2mg, reason was in 6 months Alex put on 16kg and the paediatrician was not concerned.
I was concern for her health, Alex is now bigger than me . Alex has always been aggressive, hitting, kicking spitting , pulling hair scratching, throwing things, kicking the walls. With or with out the medication this is typical of her behaviour. I love my daughter very much and I know she would find it extremely hard if I am not here but, I am so close to not being able to care for here anymore, I am over being beaten up by my 10 year old daughter, it is so soul destroying and humililating, I can no longer cope, I also realise through what I have read today that DOCS will be of no help, alex is high functioning so I ?? could she go to boarding school?? great if she could but I do not have 30k so that one is out. I gave birth to Alex and my responsibilty is to raise her to be a independent adult, as I have done with my eldest daughter who is happliy married with her second baby due soon.
\What can I do.?? ↓
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| Disappointed.. I suppose we are always looking for recognition"You are doing a great job what a wonderful mum you ar it must be so hard" and then they walk off never to see you again, I know there are amazing beautiful people out there ,I am always looking , thankyou wendy from Brisbane Asutralia ↑ |
| Thankyou for you kind words, my daughter is attending a 2 day camp for children with Autism, I am sure she is having a great time. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, going out for lunch etc I am trying to cram so much into the few days, it is going to fast. I do miss Alex, so I look forward to picking her up. once again thankyou wendy ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: Jan 24th, 2008 7:03 AM |
| Hi Wendy, is Alex calmer now that she likes the school? I was wondering do you know of anything that she enjoy doing that may bring her peace and lower her aggression. For example, does she love animal? Does she like music? Does she like arts? Perhaps discovering her interests and pursue it may give her confidence, brings her joy, and she may be less frustrated and aggressive. Have you seen a big change now that you got her off the med? I truely believe that eventhough your daughter is bigger, and perhaps stronger than you, you must not let her think that she can over power you or that you are afraid of her. She must know that you are a loving mom, but yet, in authority. Please do not let her aggression take control or it will be harder to deal with. You have to be patient, calm, in control, yet firm and loving. Sorry, I didn't mean to lecture you, so please don't take it the wrong way. I just know that you are in a difficult situation at times, and I just wanted to remind you to be strong and calm. Goodluck :-) ↑ |
| Thanks ItI for your support ,I agree with trying remain calm and in control which I do try very much to do. I bought a puppy for Alex a few years ago hoping it would help Alex to understand and learn about caring for a pet, Alex was very hostile towards suzie her pet, it has taken a few years for Alex not be aggressive towards her. Alex is maybe a little more hostile without her medication. Alex basically has no self control, I am working with a psychologists through her school(Autism Queensland) to set up a behavioural program. I am also contacting varies agencies to see if there are any residential special schools here or boarding school, as a parent you know how close to the edge you are and it is not possible to carry on, I am there. One of us is going to get badly hurt if I do nothing . It is not a decision that one makes lightly , it is not giving up on Alex, it is about being safe . I love Alex very much and I know how she is dependent on me to take good care of her as I do. I thankyou for your words of support it means alot to be. Wendy ↑ |
| I look and hope for support I do not seemed to get very far with it, thankyou for those who did reply. Is it me or is it the chat line?? ↑ |
| I look and hope for support I do not seemed to get very far with it, thankyou for those who did reply. Is it me or is it the chat line?? wendy ↑ |
| Name: Mouldoone | Date: Feb 13th, 2008 6:34 PM |
| There are meds out there for aggression. My son is high function Autistic and with out his meds he is a handful. He to will get out of control and start to beat on me. At 14 and he is as big as I, I cannot allow this to happen. I have also taught him to put himself in "TIME OUT" to "COOL OFF" with no pentaties. If she is indeed HIGH FUNCTIONING talk with her about her actions. It has worked with me. Good luck. Annie ↑ |
| Name: kath | Date: Mar 22nd, 2008 11:19 AM |
| If you haven't hired an advocate, do so now. An advocate can give you the leverage you need to navigate the red tape. My son's school did nothing for him (except expell him) until I got an advocate. He was able to attend a school for almost 2 years. I think it is too late for us, but you are starting earlier than we did. We didn't find out that he had a pdd/autism until he was almost 13. It is not too late for you. Get an advocate. If the meds help the aggression TAKE IT. The weight gain is a normal side-effect and I would much rather my son be overweight than continue to detroy himself and others. ↑ |
| Name: beckalls | Date: Mar 31st, 2008 5:13 PM |
| hi Wendy, I have a son the same age as your daughter with a diagnosis of aspergers. it was a real struggle to get his issues recognised and appropriate help inputed. he has never been aggressive, instead his reaction to external enviroment came out in obsessive compulsive behaviour which totally ruled and distroyed his life, and ours, for over a year - he couldn't attend school as he was so bad at the time. unless you've been there, people don't have a clue, no matter how hard they may try. it sounds to me like you and your daughter have been short changed for her whole life. she should have been given different strategies that she can employ/you could help her with to express her emotions and feelings and to cope with external stimuli which is so very difficult for these individuals. I would like to know what her ability to understand things are - for instance, is she able to read and understand what she is reading? there are certain techniques we use with our son where we work out words or sentences when he is calm and relaxed that he can use to express how he feels when he needs to - including having them written in a place for him to get. when we are going to do some thing we know is new for him/fo some where new etc. I use a stress line with him. it involves a simple line on a bit of paper that starts with the number 1 and ends in 10. he points to where his feelings are - in his case anxiety but in your daughters case it could be a different feeling - and so lets say he points to an 8, we list what his worries are along with the good points that he thinks will be ok. then we look at a couple of the bad points and chat around them, then I ask if its still and 8 and it very rarely is - it would have reduced. then we talk about how great it is to have reduced it and confirm how useful talking has been etc. these are just a couple of things we do - we do lots more. is this any help? the idea is different techniques eventually replace the unuseful/ distructive ones. take care, beckyx ↑ |
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