Home » Pick Your Crowd » Autistic Child » Help. I feel like I am constantly fighting!

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Name: I know

[ Original Post ]

Hi there I am a mum of an autistic (possible hasn't been confirmed yet) 6 year old. Although he has been checked since he was 3 upward all I feel I ever do is argue with my boyfriend over it.
He has no idea about the condition or how it affects our son. It frustrates me so much when he inadvertently does things that stresses our son and I'm sick of always being the peace maker and always being in the firing line.
I just want to feel supported and have him work with me rather than against me. Everything that we do extra he critisises saying that we're doing too much "cotton wool" but occasionally my son needs that. Why should I stop doing things that helps my son cope?!
I'm just really upset and frustrated and sick of repeating the same stuff and feeling that I'm getting nowhere.
I'm just so tired fighting! Surely I shouldn't be having to do this on top of everything else.
Has anyone else got this problem? ↓

Name: loli | Date: Jun 2nd, 2008 9:47 AM

You are the one most likely around your son the most and you teaching your child coping skills is one of the best things you can do.

Yes I have this problem too. Other people come around and think they can just waltz right in and treat you like you don't know what you are talking about and what you are doing is not the right way.

You know what you are doing. You are the one there observing and figuring it out so tell your boyfriend to lay off. I've had to learn the hard way to trust your own instincts. Even if you feel like you are alone in this regard.

Your child's brain does not relate to the typical ways alot of kids were brought up and your boyfriend probably subscribes to the one size fits all theory.

It doesn't.

Tell him your son is your first priority and you know what you are doing. I don't know why it is but people like to pick at the mothers the most and treat them as if they don't know what they are talking about and it's just not a big deal. Don't listen to them and keep doing what you are doing.

If it's been 3 years and your bf just won't get it, chances are he never will. ↑

Name: I know | Date: Jun 2nd, 2008 10:37 AM

Thanks loli. It's not easy and it's good to know that I'm not the only one. To be honest I will be relieved when we get a decision on whether he can be diagnosed as "autistic enough" as last time they couldn't decide due to this. I feel that my boyfriend has never been able to come to terms with things due to this and am hoping that this may turn around when they make the final decision in a few months time. I know that my bf means well but he just doesn't get it. Thankyou for your support on this as my son is my priority. I just hope that my bf will sort himself otherwise he leaves me with little options..... ↑