Well, up untill last night I honestly thought that I had not gone back to my own ways, That I was just going tthrue a faze of not being hungery.....But I am anerexic and Bulimic...
Today as I sat down to eat my lunch of Spanish rice, I knew that as soon as I was done I was going to drink a big glass of water wait five minutes and throw it all up!!! And that is exactually what I did.... I told myself it wasnt true, but it was....
When I am with my friends and I see someone who is thinner than me, I make comments like, I wonder what she didnt have for dinner, or my god some one feed her....When really I am that person I am talking about myself....It has gotten to the point that I know what I am going to eat, drink before I go to bed... I know how many cals are in it how many carbs... I hate the fact that knowing I am going to eat the same thing every day makes me happy... I am content just eating one proten bar a day....I would rather be hungery all the time than be fat, because after w awhile the hunger goes away....
I have a problem and I dont think I will ever give it up, I may say I have but I havent.... ↓
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