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I have a 13 year old who has a crush on an 18 year old boy...he feels likewise. He seems like a nice kid..coaches basketball with my hubby. My daughter is a very mature, well spoken, assertive, responsible and terrific girl...never a problem and we have a great relationship. We talk very openly and she is very disclosing and proven trustworthy. As I saw this little affair developing she and I had a frank discussion on the age difference...she understands, but still likes this boy. I also took the liberty to chat online with this boy to explain my concerns. He admitted that he recognizes she is young, but did not deny his attraction to her, adding he thinks about her alot. I explained our conservative views of no sex before marraige, concerns on age difference, etc. He seems receptive and respectful and agreed this was a good thing. Although he admits he is not a virgin and considers his choice a mistake. He says he wants to wait too. He really seems like a nice kid and I don't want to be a tyrant on the matter. I figure he will lose interest, or she will...but layng down the law might be counterproductive. I have made it clear to him that we MAKE AND ENFORCE THE RULES and I would like to see this remain friendly and platonic...he was agreeable. I just can't see letting her leave alone with him. IS it crazy that I might allow im to come to our home for a visit? Why would an 18 year old boy be interested in my 13 year old? She is quite lovely, very accomplished and a great girl...I guess I could not blame him...she certainly is not the typical 13 year old...but the age difference does unnerve me a bit... He does not seem to be a great deal more emotionally mature than her... maybe a few more experiences...any thoughts ↓
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| Name: brittany | Date: Dec 3rd, 2005 3:05 AM |
| Im 13 and it's most likely hormones. I probably wouldn't leave her alone with him though, even if you trust her. where did they meet? that might tell you a whole lot about him. I would ask him why he has an interest in your daughter. Remember he may not be all he's cracked up to be, just because he's 18 he can still lie. Personally I would not let my 13 year old hang out with an 18 year old if I knew there was an attraction, Have you asked your daugter about this?, expressed your feelings? just hang in there, he won't have interest long. hope i helped ↑ |
| Name: Allyson | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 7:59 AM |
| i can tell you one thing you DO NOT want to do. and that is tell them they can't see each other or hang out. because that will make everything worse then she will be sneeking and seeing him and all kinds of this. me and my boyfriend have an age gap between us and i so WISH my mother was as understanding as you! you are handleing this very well. if hes a good guy and shes a good girl let them hang out like at your house in the living room. i would say give them like 5 -10 mins alone well not all the way alone but you walk out of the room to make them more comfortable. then come back in and join in with the convo! i wish my mother would have let that happened but she didn't and i started sneeking off and talking back and just not listening. well hope this helps! ↑ |
| Name: Miccah Lewis | Date: Dec 7th, 2005 9:16 AM |
| well, if she is trustworthy y not? if she is as mature as you say she is you should have no problem trusting her to be alone witht his boy... and also 5 years doesnt really matter whever you get 20. if she knows to respect your rules she will not have sex with him. furthermore, it should make it easier for you to trust her, ↑ |
| Name: samia | Date: Dec 15th, 2005 3:21 PM |
| Im 21 and my husband is 30, thers a 9 year age gap between us two, he's a technical manager for a small company in bucks and i'll be graduating in may next year with a degree in economics. we first met when i was 16 and he was 25 through mutual friends, we had this stong emotional bond between us, but the age gap worried me so i tried to lay off the guy and the feeling was the same on his side too. we hardly talked afterwards, but our families knew eachother way before we met and we didnt know! my family liked him and his family me, though they didnt plan anything for the both of us. aftter a while, we couldnt help it, we knew the feeling was real, so on new years eve her proposed to me alone, i said yes! and rushed to my dad and mum telling them the good news, my dad disaproved because i was so young, but finally saw that the true love we had for eachother couldnt wait, so we got engaged a week later. we are now the parents of 2 beutiful children- farnaam and kashif. Age shouldnt come in between if you as me, but if youre really concerned thentalk it out throughly with your daughter, making sure she knows each and every aspect of importance in a a relationship, share your views and take it from there....good luck ↑ |
| Name: Brenda | Date: Dec 29th, 2005 3:36 AM |
| I am glad to here there are stil conservative parents out there and atta girl for sticking to your guns! I have 3 teenage girls and we have traveled this road as well, though the age difference was not quite that large. A few thoughts on this, first you say he doesnt seem any more mature than her? Then she will probably outgrow him in short order. Second remember he is still a young man with all the hormones that come with it and I think it would be flirting with disaster to leave them alone as in out on a date or completely unsupervised. They can end up in situations neither of them intend and that they dont have the maturity to deal with. Have you thought about using the courting method now and in any future relationships? If you are un sure about what that is post back and I will get the info we used. ↑ |
| Name: cristina | Date: Dec 30th, 2005 6:36 AM |
| she is too youing for 18 year old ↑ |
| Name: to lisaallene | Date: Dec 30th, 2005 3:58 PM |
| dont you think 13 is a little young to have a boyfriend no matter what his age may be? I wouldnt allow it, but thats me. You say you trust your daughter but just how well do you trust this guy? He's 18 do you think he's honestly interested in a girl thats 13 and he cant have sex with until she's old enough to get married. Come on shouldnt common sense prevail here? ↑ |
| Name: Boss | Date: Jan 2nd, 2006 9:15 PM |
| take a look at the Due Date section of this site and look at all the 13 year olds who are pregnant I wouldnt let her ↑ |
| Name: stephen | Date: Jan 8th, 2006 4:49 PM |
| it is difficalt aswell i mean i like a girl thats younger than me and she likes me as well i think but im the same age as this boy but this girl is not 13 shes 15 and a half i mean its a difficault choice to make but there is a big age diffrents there as well i think he should wait untill shes a older age because its not love is it and i mean if it was love that would b difficault ↑ |
| Name: julie | Date: Jan 13th, 2006 3:29 PM |
| dont worry ma daughter is 13 and has a huge crush on a 22 yr old and its ma mates fionce and i know they get up 2 stuff ↑ |
| Name: keyshia | Date: Jan 14th, 2006 12:43 AM |
| i mean your daughter is 13 and he 18 i call it a rape because he to old for her you should stop her for seeing him make it stop ↑ |
| Name: mocott | Date: Jan 15th, 2006 11:10 PM |
| kinda funny that you should say this, because I just went through this with my 13 year old daughter. She also is very mature for her age, and he was a very nice guy. I even talked to him a little bit. I was worried, and if it makes you feel any better, they are no longer talking, and she is interested in boys her own age. Funny I still like the other guy better than who she is interested now. But it is probaly all for the best. ↑ |
| Name: mocott | Date: Jan 15th, 2006 11:15 PM |
| let us know how it worked out ↑ |
| Name: Hunter | Date: Jan 19th, 2006 7:46 PM |
| what is her name get her to im me and ill talk to her im 14 years old bye ↑ |
| Name: evelyn | Date: Jan 24th, 2006 4:10 AM |
| my daughter haves a crush on a 16 year old boy shes only 12 years old she said yes when he asked her to be his girlfriend what do i do hes a nice kid they love each other and does age matter help me i dont know what to do ↑ |
| Name: tazz | Date: Jan 25th, 2006 3:03 AM |
| Name: Joe | Date: Jan 26th, 2006 9:55 PM |
| Well i'm 14 years old and my mother thinks a 16 year old is too old..crazy right? hes the most important person in my life right now and hes very special 2 me but we wont have sex or anything..parents, not every thought in our young minds are filled with sex!!! soo i say 2 you..meet him and have him come over and get 2 know him very well and see where things go from there..Good luck!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: amber | Date: Jan 27th, 2006 1:55 AM |
| if your little girl like 18 year old boy,keep your baby from that 18 years old boy okay ↑ |
| Name: same here | Date: Jan 31st, 2006 3:50 AM |
| my daughter is 14, goes out with a 19 year old she has sex and stuff too. but when i see the together i see there maturity level is about the same, teen boys mature slower than girls do! ↑ |
| Name: gemma | Date: Feb 1st, 2006 3:23 PM |
i really dont think you should allow it becoz some boys dat age
he could take big advantage of her there are bigger fish in the sea especially some her age ↑ |
| Name: Jay | Date: Feb 4th, 2006 4:38 PM |
| i'm 14 What would a 13 year old girl Know Abour hormones ? So I'll Tell u Where They met They Met at ur House ↑ |
| Name: kirsty | Date: Feb 4th, 2006 8:59 PM |
| Name: samantha | Date: Feb 5th, 2006 2:01 AM |
| dont let her date amn 18 year old.... her heart will be busted before she can say wedding bells.... to old... when someone he thinks is prettier he will leave and she'll be behind crying take it from someone who know my 14 year old daughter did once and now i tell her no when someone older than her comes along. ↑ |
| Name: Cheyenne | Date: Feb 11th, 2006 3:45 AM |
| I am so glad we have police out there to protect us.It makes me feel safe.So who ever needs help and your close to a phone then you need to call 911.If you are not near a phone then try to ask someone for one or try to find one.But if your not in any danger once so ever then don't call the police.Because if you do it will make lots of police going around tring to find you because you called and your only suppost to call ONLY if your in danger.So all you children out there who is reading this keep this in your mind and never forget this,and never forget the police are always there for you when you in any danger.So remember to call 911 if you are in any danger.PLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE! ↑ |
| Name: Agnes | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 2:22 AM |
| I think there is nothing wrong with allow them to "court". If you have not read anything on modern courting, I suggest that you find a good website about it and take a look. ↑ |
| Name: Rachel | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 7:05 AM |
| Personally, I don't find it a big deal. I'm 14 and I'm going through the same thing. Here's the thing, I honestly don't think he'd try anything considering if he did it's illegal and statutory rape and I'm sure as any mother would. that you would press charges of anything were to happen. You said he's a nice guy and doesn't seem that much more emotionally mature than her. But ultimately it's whatever you feel most comfortable with. If after alot of thought you don't feel right about it then don't do it because there's a reason, and even if she's upset about it she will get over it and will get over him eventually. But definately don't make her cut off all contact with him or anything because that will just make her want to rebel. ↑ |
| Name: sophia | Date: Feb 12th, 2006 4:03 PM |
| If i were you i wouldnt let her see this boy again he might force her to do something that she doesn't want to do. but still i would not trust this boy ↑ |
| Name: Josh | Date: Feb 14th, 2006 9:37 PM |
Hello Lisa~
I am an 18 year old guy and that kid is givin you a bunch of bs. Your daughter seems very nice, I understand that you trust her but I would not trust the 18 year old boy. There are a lot of 18 year olds that are nice kids but when any parent says "No sex before marriage" of course the boy will agree with you if he wants a chance with your daughter. You can't possibly say that he regrets having premarital sex before do you? I understand that age should not matter but for a 13 year old it should. However, if you feel that this is a good guy I would only let them hang out at your house. Hope this helps ↑ |
| Name: amanda | Date: Feb 16th, 2006 11:52 PM |
| hi my name is amanda what is years ↑ |
| Name: krystal valente | Date: Feb 18th, 2006 10:40 PM |
| LET HER GO OUT WITH HOM BEC I LRT MY 13 GO OUT WITH A 18 ↑ |
| Name: ELLIA | Date: Feb 20th, 2006 4:33 PM |
| You most be crazy 18 13 he is tryin to influence her to get in her pants girls that young think thyre in love older guys can influence them to do things you wouldnt believe i know a girl named lauren straight As smart her parnets thinks she's an angel but she's the school slut go figure so you can never trust a young girl that much even if you THINK you can trust her ↑ |
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