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Ok, well lets start at the begining my parents got divorced when i was 13.. and it wasnt pretty, argument backstabbing you name it, it happened and i self harmed to stop myself from breaking down. They bot have new partners not that keane on them but ya know whatever. I am bisexual, and i did fall for someone, both guys he came over mine and stayed the night we had some "fun" and well we went out the next morning, and my mum saw my bed sheets covered in some stuff, she forbid me to talk to him, took away my phone, laptop everything. I couldnt bare it, i couldnt get outta bed, i slef harmed, i cryed, i spoke to him, and we agreed it was over, its still the same now, i just feel really low and down and not having energy doesnt help. ↓
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| Name: tattudemom | Date: Apr 13th, 2007 12:04 AM |
I've had depression since I was a kid and the best way I can describe to you the difference between chemical (clinical) depresssion and situational (from your breakup) is that if you could imagine your life being that of perfection (You're rich, healthy, loved, smart, important, etc.) and you'd still hate yourself, be unmotivated, tired, have trouble focusing, etc., then that's clinical depression. If I had to guess just from your post, I'd say you might have some situational depression. Ask yourself this: Were you depressed between your folks' divorce and your breakup? Or, did this occur after each event?
If you're interested and need someone to talk to, email me at [email protected] anytime. I'm concerned mostly with your self-harming. Like I said, I had depression through my teen years and I wish I'd had someone to talk to back then. Maybe I would have made better choices if I'd had help. Take care. ↑ |
| Name: Burn4Me, | Date: Apr 17th, 2007 3:53 PM |
| I became depressed after each event, i went on these depresison test sites did about 3, each of them said i was moderatly depressed and on the vergue of severe depression, i just dont know how to stop myself from doing anyhign stupid if it comes to that which i feel it will ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: Apr 21st, 2007 4:58 AM |
| Well, this advice is on the basis that you have a relationship with your mom like I have with my son, and that is to be able to talk openly about your feelings. I say sit down and talk to your mom, not about her making you break it off with your boyfriend, but the pattern of becoming depressed and wanting to do something about it. Tell her you're scared you might do something stupid and that you need her support. Don't be afraid of getting "locked up" or anything like that. Most times, that isn't at all what happens, but a doctor could assess you for therapy and/or meds. Also, your mom might not even realize your unhappiness if you hide it well like I did. Doing nothing about it isn't going to help, so you really need to talk to someone and your best bet is your parent. You might be surprised at how much better you feel being able to get things off your chest about all of it: the divorce, the bisexuality, the breakup with boyfriend, etc. ↑ |
| Name: Burn4Me, | Date: May 7th, 2007 1:36 PM |
| i dont have a realtionship with my mum i cant talk to her because she makes everything about her, and makes everyone feel sorry for her, before when i told her my sexuality she freaked out told my partner to f off never talk to me, she locked me in my room and told lies about me to all my family and made everyone feel sorry for her and everyone shouted at me. she treats me like a freak and when i told her i wonted to move to london her response was " why not ....( cant remember the name ) thats here people like you go" sometimes i cant bear it it feels so heavy on my chest like something dragging me down or pressing me on it. ↑ |
| Name: Burn4Me, | Date: May 7th, 2007 1:38 PM |
| by the way tattudemon you have such good advice have you ever thought about helping people other then on this chatroom you would make such a therapist or psychologist you could really help people ↑ |
| Name: tattudemom | Date: May 8th, 2007 12:21 AM |
What a great compliment and validation that I'm doing what I've always hoped to do, which is to be helpful to others who also hurt. I don't have the self-confidence to do this for a living and in fact was so paralyzed by depression as a young woman that I didn't go to college at all. I was too afraid and unsure of myself. Helping folks online is easy because it's anonymous and no one is dependent solely on my knowledge/opinion. At any rate, I'm glad you find my advice useful.
That's awful that you can't talk to the main person you should be able to lean on in life. Do you think she'd have had as much a problem with your wanting to move to London if you were strictly straight? She may be clouding her opinion about you as a whole just due to your sexuality. She needs to see that sexual preference is just one small part of who you are. I don't know how old you are, but if you're very young, you may need to write her a letter to give yourself a chance to let it all out without being interrupted or cut off. If she doesn't respond, depending on your age, I'd not continue to "beg" for her attention. I'd go about my life, move to London if that's what you want, and seek therapy in a professional setting. If she's turning things around to herself, she may never quite get it. Just don't give up on the idea that you can feel better. Even if it's getting your feelings out with like-minded people, not necessarily medicating or lying on the therapist's couch, it might make you feel at least that you aren't alone. Here is a website that might help if you just want some folks who know how you feel. There are a few who've self-harmed and might be able to tell you how to stop (assuming you have a pattern of this). http://www.depressionchat.com/
I haven't been there in a while, but it helped me through a rough patch. I hope you find it helpful. ↑ |
| Name: Burn4Me, | Date: May 9th, 2007 7:43 PM |
well at the moment im 15th in month nd i live quite near london but i wnn live catually in the herat of london it deffintley is becusae of my sexuality becuse she found out about me she didnt like gay or bisexual people shed make jokes etc... Im not gonn beg for her help she cant even help herself my realy good friend who i confide in we both go through this stuff nearenough the same time and we both help eachother withit but i just need more in a way. At the moment i stop myself from hurting myself i sometimes sit their shaking because i feel i need to do it but is top myself because i know its wrong and i dont wanna be a perminant selfharmer. Its just if i wrote her a letter shed show it to everyone shes got the hugest mouth in the south of england and i cant trust her with anything it seems allot of the time she isnt a mother to me more of a backstabing friend, she doesnt act like a mother in the way she is she dresses like a teen ive told her this and she doesnt care bout anything anyone has to say just herself herself herself and im sick of her. She says snide comments like how im gonna dress as a women as i get older, how im gonna get every std under the sun (not in them words obviously) and i dont know why she says this i cant help how i feel about certain people.
And for you, you shouldnt let your childhood determain the rest of your life theyr are advice phone lines you could work on like childlines ? don't let your talents be stuck behind a computer screen, you shouldnt change your dreams, you should take bigger strides to get them. I also wont to study phsycology once ive left school and photography.
And thankyou for that site ill look on it and see what i think. ↑ |
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