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| Name: whos ya mumma | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 5:17 AM |
| Hire a private investigator. Sounds hollywood, but do it. They will see where he goes, what he does with his time and money. They can also ( illegally ) track down any bank accounts and assets this man has. You cant ever come to terms with a asshole like that....... ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 2:13 PM |
| What an asshole you got there! I don't know what you're going to do. I mean if he quits so he doesn't have to pay much (even though he probably has loads of cash stashed)I don't know what you can do about it. Maybe you're better off without him and his money? If that's the kind of guy he is then I wouldn't want my kids to know him!!!!! Go get on welfare,if they can't or won't make him pay then why not let them foot the bill for medical,foodstamps,and some cash,(if you're elidgible)? ↑ |
| Name: jamie1982 | Date: Feb 8th, 2007 5:23 AM |
| hi im new to this forum, im usually in due date being as im pregnant with my third. im not with either of my first two childrens father and have had my share of problems with them. my oldest daughter will be 10 in march and from what your saying sounds almost exactly like what i been going through. i got pregnant with her when i was 15 and from the day i found out the father denied everything. we had tests done when my daughter was around 3 yrs old which proved she belonged to him, that is the time the whole i want to spend time with her started( if im gonna pay i wanna see my kid). now to this day i play games every month with domestic relations trying to figure out why they arent doing anything. he has 3 other children younger then ours and as far as i understand he supports them. he always claims he dont have a job so domestic relations got smart and said well we are going to set a amount that you will have to pay no matter what. the truth is years down the road he still does not pay and the set amount is only 100. come on now how hard is it to come up with that kind of money!! they have put him in jail twice for nonpayment and are ready to do so again.ive came to realize that since he has never spent one second in my daughters life he's not worth wasteing my time over. like one post reads you should get someone to investigate, i should too..but ive made my mind up that id rather him not be in the picture what so ever so i let it go and recieve payment when he feels like paying.. the system is really screwed up if you ask me!! they are after my brother constintly over not making payments and want to put him in jail everytime he is late but at least hes trying. they let the assholes go that dont have any intentions ↑ |
| Name: tanya1982 | Date: Feb 9th, 2007 1:34 PM |
| hi i have 2 kids by my ex husband when we seperated and i filed for divorce my ex was order to pay me 106.00 a week while our divorce was pending he then was order to pay 116.00 a week when our divorce was final he nevetr paid a dime but was taking his new girlfriends and her kids on vacations and shopping sprees so I got the child supoort enforcment agency at my counties proscuters office involved and they investigated the whole thing and since my ex doesnt want to pay for the kids he made he is now sitting in jail for felony charges of non support of a dependent to get out he will need to pay his back support off like 8000.00 then he will be on support supervision which means if he misses a payment he goes to jail I dont know what state you live in but check with your prscuters office and see what they can do to help. I live in Indiana and I know the min. anyone pays a month for childspport is like 200.00 and you have to show proof that your looking for a job and when my ex got his amount he was suppose to pay he didnt have a job they went by his back taxes on how much he could make also a good idea would be to get you a lawyer it is money worth spent even when my ex gets out he can only have supervised visits for 30 minutes a week ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 10th, 2007 12:43 AM |
| sorry girls for all your troubles what pricks . listen to lizzie she has great info have 2 boys myself an i get no help either. guys go thru it too. be strong right lizzie things will come to thous who screw people over. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Feb 10th, 2007 5:29 AM |
| im sorry but this is my opinion and it is NOT meant to be harsh, just how i read your post :-) YOU made the decision to chase the man for DNA tests, so that he can be named Father on your sons birth certificate, you may of thought is was all important when you did it, so that your son knew who his father was...but in essence...he would have, because YOU knew who his father was...its just written in type on a piece of paper. Now that you did that it has opened a can of worms... a. He never wanted to be the father b. You wanted child support because he had the means at the time to give it c. You didnt count on him being pissed at you????...even after he was forced to sign the birth certificate!?!?! d. He declined to pay child support and instead decided to pack his job in....FACT...thousands of support paying fathers do this ALL THE TIME. e. now YOU want what you thought there was...money. You will not be able to catch the money, even with a private investigator, he is smart. f YOU will have to give him his 4hours a week or more...because HE IS the father, thanks to YOU and finally YOU do have enough money to feed your son YOU do have enough money to clothe your son YOU do have enough money to house your son HOW? you ask because Centrelink australia pays you enough!...i had two children and had enough for all of the above and some left over...and i was not in government housing, i privately rented. YES your ex is an arsehole....no doubt about it... but he is an arsehole of your making Where do you think you would be had you not forced him to sign the birth certificate? the same place you find yourself today...only without the aggravation of having him now demanding access!!!!! good luck in the future ↑ |
| Name: merandaellen | Date: May 17th, 2007 7:03 PM |
| Hi jacq_1985-I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a sinlge 24 year old mother of a 14 month old. She is my life yes-but it is hard. Ever since the father found out I was pregnant-he at first denied that she was his-then was proven-then he thrreatened to take her away from me. We went to the Office of the Attorney General and have a case open but it has been in the enforcement process ever since October 2006-he has been employed and then quit when they took the first child support payment out. So in saying all of this I am a hrad workign single mother and I enjoy every second of it. I do get tired. I mean I work 40-45 hours a week, then am a 24-7 mother on top of that and I have finally gotten tired of his crap and I have gone to a website called www.supportkids.com. If you have just a little bit of information they can help you get what he owes you. It is like so totally not fair that the father's who want no financial responsibility are able to see their children and then even at that time-they don't want the child for the whole time. They "get tired" which is very sad. So I will pray for you and just know that God will provide for you!! ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: May 18th, 2007 4:39 AM |
| Hello jacq_1985. I was in the same situation as yours. I'm confused as to how the amount got reduced... have you taken him to court?? In any case, with my situation, the father quit his job the day before my son expectant due date. He also had a high paying job. I hired a lawyer and took him to court. Had him serve but he failed to show up to court. To make the story short, it took about 1 year to finally have a warrant of arrest issued and got him thrown into jail for failure to show up to court twice. He was forced to go to court after being unemployed for a year. HE THOUGHT THAT BY BEING UNEMPLOYED MEANS HE DOES NOT HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. THAT IS WRONG!!! Here in Texas, the judge will tell you that he would at least have to pay based on minimum wage, SO THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NO JOB, NO PAYMENT. The court procedding took the whole day, but in the end the judgement was in my favor. We did a good job proving to the judge that he elected to resign and was not "layed-off". It doesn't take a genius to know that he has had to have money to pay for rent and all his expenses without a job, and that he could have worked at McDonald as oppose to being unemployed for a year. The judge said that it was obviously that the father made no attempt to pay and granted me $1,000.00/month in child support. Sorry for such a long mesage, but be strong and persue it. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS $26.00/month on child support, rediculous!!!! FIGHT IT...based on minimum wage, he should at LEAST be paying $200.00 to $300.00. To be honest, the government is getting stricter on child support because the more deadbeat father out there who is not paying, the more single moms are pushed into poverty, the MORE THE GOVERNMENT HAVE TO SUPPLIMENT...so as you can see, it's not that easy to get away with extremely rediculous low payment or no payment at all from being unemployed. DEAD BEAT FATHERS MAKE ME SICK TO THE STOMACH...the only person who suffers in the end is the child. ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: May 18th, 2007 5:28 AM |
| I absolutely disagree with marija. First, the father of jacq_1985 is an adult and knew that unprocted sex can lead to conception. IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A BABY, THEREFORE, IT TAKES TWO TO ABSORB THE COSTS. You are laying all the responsiblities on jacq-1985...she didn't make the baby alone!!! Secondly, yes, she SHOULD persue DAN testing, because without that, he can not be forced to pay childsupport and he shoud regardless if he wants to or not!!! The court will require DNA testing anyway, so it didn't mattered if he signed the birth certificate or not. THE BABY DIDN'T ASK TO BE CONCEIVED!! Do understand, life is not all about I DO THINGS IF AND WHEN I WANT TO DISREGARDING WHAT I'M RESPONSIBLE TO DO!!! You hold that philosophy in a working force, you'll be fired in a New York minute!!! IF YOUR PHILOSOPHY HOLD TRUE, MAN, YOU ARE STATING THAT MEN SHOULD GO AND HAVE FUN WITOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES. Thank God you are NOT a judge in court!! He didn't quit his job because it's all jacq_1985's fault, he quit his job is because he's a looser!! AND LOOSERS STILL NEED TO PAY FOR THEIR CHIILDREN, NO EXCEPTIONS!!! SO DON'T LAY EVERYTHING ON JACQ_1985! Jacq_1985, thank goodness I have the resources to hire a private lawyer, but my friend who is not as well of went through the attorney general office and got the guy thrown in jail for failure to pay. Girl, get him thrown in jail if he doesn't pay. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU BEING "MONEY HUNGRY", it's not the money for you, it's the money for your child...the child has rights too, and since she's to young to speak for herself, you need to be her voice and persue your child's financial rights. Yes, you can pay rent, yes you can put food in your child's mouth, but your child is going to need money from BOTH to have a roof over his/her head, food, clothing, medical needs, and EDUCATION!!! IT SHOULD BE FROM BOTH PARENTS WEATHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT!! ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: May 18th, 2007 6:04 AM |
| sorry, you have a son and not a daughter ↑ |
| Name: ltl | Date: May 18th, 2007 6:19 AM |
| Oh Jacq_1985, about the father seeing your son, I had the same concern as you did months ago. Truthfully, the more I thought about it, it played out as I suspected it. Obviously the father really does not care for your son, so with him seeing your son is merely out of spite. But truthfully how long do you think it would last? It takes time, money, and effort to spend time with a child. Do you think that he would take the time out for a long time just to spend time with his son who he didn't really care about?? After awhile, believe me, the father has better things to do with his time than doing things he didn't really care for. For instance, if a person has a hard time waking up to go to a job that they just don't really care, they normally wouldn't last long at that job. So, the father of my child excercise his visitation rights for 1 1/2 months and after that, didn't hear from him....as I suspected. So my point to you is, don't show the father that it bothers you that he's spending time with his son, because that will be his motivation to spend time with his son and not from his heart. After awhile he wouldn't want to spend the money on gas to go pick up his son and to waste his time with someone he didn't really care for. It will burn out. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: May 19th, 2007 12:05 PM |
| itl i DO lay all the responsibility at jacq_1985's feet no doubt about it....the moment A WOMAN decides to carry and give birth to a baby...she deems herself responsible for that child. A father does not come into the picture until SHE makes that decision.......so if she didnt make the decision to continue with the pregnancy ...then a father DOESNT exist. When you KNOW from day dot ...that a father is not going to be in the picture...then you should adjust your life accordingly....you make plans that dont include a dad!.......SHE DIDNT she centred her sons existance around getting money out of his father...trying to find money if it is important to you to have the name on your sons birth certificate...then you HAVE to abide by the laws when it comes to child support and child access...HE has and hes found a way around the child support system...but in the same breath used the system to PISS her off.........ALOT OF MEN DO. my point was....that a mother should NEVER rely on anyone but herself when she is KNOWINGLY from the begining taking on a baby WITHOUT someone who was willing to be a supportive parent ...but instead is an arsehole. SHE knew this from the begining. child support in australia is not the be all and end all...you can live quite comfortably without it. It should never of been included in Jacq_1985 priorities when she DECIDED to have her baby. responsible people DONT consciously decide to have a baby and think ..oh ill be able to support this baby because i will make him pay child support. HERE in australia ...as a single mother, you DO get enough to feed / clothe / educate / put a roof over your head / all medical costs / buy, drive and fuel a car and have enough for you to go out once a week ...have take away every now and again........and STILL HAVE ENOUGH to put a little in there school banking account.........ALL OF THE ABOVE.......WITHOUT CHILD SUPPORT!!!!!! i know because IVE BEEN THERE!! IM not disputing the fact that the dad is an irresponsible arsehole...i agree with that fact...but what you dont seem to realise...is here in AUSTRALIA he has done nothing NOTHING wrong...morally YES...legally NO...hes not going to jail....he is deemed by the CHILD SUPPORT AGENCY here as having an income of X amount...unless jacq_1985 PROVES he has a paying job...there is nothing NOTHING he has to pay OR owes!! im disputing her right to ACT the victim. ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: May 19th, 2007 12:11 PM |
| i saw child support as a BONUS if i got something...i was one of the lucky ones....i would NEVER of depended on it to pay my bills or put a roof over our heads. i knew i was going it alone...i knew he had money....I ALSO KNEW HE WAS A ARSEHOLE who i didnt want around my kids. i weighed the pros and cons of pursueing the child support....i preferred having him out of our lives, FOR THE WELLBEING of my kids. ↑ |
