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O.k. we got our tax money,paid off my dad and split the rest. Well over the past year my h. has given me bill/grocery money etc. but over the course of the year managed to (borrow) $280 of that money back telling me he would make payments to me to give it back. well that worked for a bit til he ended up reborrowing all that he had paid on it so again he owed me the $280 with the PROMISE that when we got our check he would pay me the $280 on top of my rightful half which I agreed to reluctantly. Well now we get the money and he has given me my half but now says he wants to (make small payments to me for the $280)!!!! I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and that he's trying to get out of paying me that $$ at all. But if I owed him you can bet he would have made me pay up every dollar right then when the check was cashed!If I insist he pay me then he probably will but then he will treat me like shit for as long as he wants to pout about it. I guess he doesn't think my money is as important to me as his is to him.....BULLSHIT!!!! I've been stewing about this silently and don't know how to handle it,i need advice please! Thanks! ↓
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| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:28 PM |
| This is your hubby right hon? I say tough. Pay. If thats the deal around your house to do things that way......whats good for the goose...........ya know?! If he pouts and whines and is generally miserable about the issue.......and once again it is directed at you.....though difficult to endure yes i do know hon......he might just think twice about it next time. If you let him off the "hook" so to speek...........he will so do it again......with the same attitude no less i imagine. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:33 PM |
| That's the thing,$280 is too much money to forget about,I won't do it! But if I demand it I'm going to have hell to pay even though the money is rightfully owed to me and he knows it. ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:38 PM |
| Its standing your ground Lizzi. Sometimes ya gotta take the heat to get the message across ya know. Think of the kids lololol we all do it all the time.....sometimes men are just no diffrent that way. Again, if thats the deal in your home.....I would darn well endure the crap....to get my point across. And yeah they do learn (all be it ever so snail like) that you will indeed stand your ground. Insist the playing field fair.......and follow through........regardless. You can do it hon. Otherwise me thinks, you are just setting yourself up for more of the same.....(he learns that too........that he "can") and the issue becomes a merry-go-round ride of sorts. One ya no longer can seem to jump off lolololol! ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:40 PM |
| got to get crackin......get Olivia ready for school hon....but will be in later. See ya in a bit. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:43 PM |
I agree with Maxie,
If you 2 have this agreement, then he needs to pay up.......Tell him Lizzie, you have had to scrimpt on grocery money, stretched groceries to the point of stress and now you want that to stock up on the groceries so you avoid that perdicument again.......
If that was the agreement......he needs to pay up! ↑ |
| Name: tubbybubble | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 3:57 PM |
| i agree with maxieellis, if my hubby and i split money like that then i would just tell him tough cookies...pay up...haha. but i'm like jillw, we share the money...well, what's mine is mine and what his is mine...lol...j/k..nah, i also think it's pretty sh*tty that he doesn't want to give you that money. ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:02 PM |
| My husband and I share the money, but I kind of know what you mean. I wanted to put our tax refund in the bank, and save it. He also gets a bonus at work every year and it is normally a couple thousand. But so far he has bought the new fish tank, a flat screen plasma tv, AND a bunch of stuff to do work to his Jeep. I am not talking about thingst that his Jeep needs to run, I am talking about things that he thinks makes it look better. I asked him to please put up a fence in the backyard, it would be better for the dogs, the kids, and me. So far there is still no fence even ordered!!! My husband thinks money grows on trees!!! ↑ |
| Name: Dana G | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:04 PM |
| Wow...I don't know what to say because we have one checking and we never "borrow" money from each other. I can imagine if we did we would be constantly fighting about money. The way we do it is whatever money is left after bills and one of us wants something we go buy it....I guess if this is how you do it, and you both agreed to it, I'd make him pay you back. Tough one all around because one of you would probably end up mad. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:19 PM |
| Exactly Dana,and to this point I've always been the one to back down and simmer in silence,but I'm afraid I just can't do that THIS time. That money is owed and was PROMISED to me at this particular time and now he expects me to sit back and say,"O.k. honey! Pay me at your own leisure (even though that wasn't the deal),but I'm a good wife and I agree with whatever you want!" THAT"S what he EXPECTS but $280 to me is ALOT of money! It's rightfully mine and I'm going after it! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:21 PM |
| jillw you hit the nail on the head!!!!! I get strength from you girls moreso than you know and today when he gets home he isn't going to like what I've got to say! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:23 PM |
| I'm TIRED of being his doormat! ↑ |
| Name: maxieellis | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:38 PM |
| lolol good girl. Next. Should you be in for money another time and you are owed.......Just take it. Deposit it. And tell him....whats the diff. You owe it and it needed to be paid so....it is now. Done. lolololol ↑ |
| Name: mellisa | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 4:54 PM |
| That really sucks lizzi, who cares about his pouting get yourmoney or you will never see it he will get over it and mabye it will teach him not to borrow money from you anymore. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:06 PM |
| Good for you lizzi! You diserve respect. I hope that it goes well for you :) ↑ |
| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:08 PM |
| Morning Lizzi. It's yours period. You had an agreement make him uphold it. Even if you just stick it in the bank and leave it there for emergencies, it's still better than getting it back 10 bucks at a time. Aren't you the one cashing the check because his ID expired? Cash it, give him his half -$280, and tell him to lump it. IMO a few days of pouting is better than being stone flat broke again. And he can only treat you as you allow him to treat you. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:09 PM |
Lizzie,
I would certainly deal with it however you need to. Do not be taken advantage of again.
In our home , we share all the money.......I do all the budgeting, and decide where the money will be spent.......This takes the stress off of my Hubby, and I feel better too knowing where the money is going. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:10 PM |
| Yes just give him his share, minus the 280.00 good idea. ↑ |
| Name: jillw | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:21 PM |
| Oh yeah for sure if you are the one cashing the check don't even give him the chance to have to other 280.00 in his hands becuase then you risk the poss that he will just refuse to give it to you. Like the others said cash it and give him his share after you have deducted the 280.00. ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 5:26 PM |
| Yes once in his hands you will probably never see it......Just do not give it to him......he may be upset at first, but he will be happy with the rest he gets. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 6:08 PM |
| The check had to have BOTH our signatures on it so he was right there with me when we cashed it and the lady handed HIM the envelope with the cash. He took out my dads money and then gave me my fair half of what was left but then decided he wasn't going to pay me the additional $280 that he owed me at least not in a one lump sum like he had promised.He said he wants to make payments on that. Yeah! I know how his (payment plan goes all too well!!!) If I don't demand it all at once I'm never going to see any of it! ↑ |
| Name: Dawn C. | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 6:18 PM |
| At the risk of loosing my good girl image...don't you know how to sign his name?? Come on Lizzi, hang out w/me some more and I'll show you how to get away with being a master criminal! LOL! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 6:20 PM |
| He had to be there too because they needed to see both of us and our I.D.'s together before they would cash it. ↑ |
| Name: Dana G | Date: Feb 28th, 2007 6:21 PM |
| I'm glad our banks not like that...LOL...If my husband signed his name to something they would probably think it was a fake. ↑ |
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