There may only be a couple of other AAers in here besides me, but these are funny no matter who you are! I got them out of this months Grapevine (the AA magazine) which was all about fun in sobriety.
Quote from a little boy of an AAer: "Pop, what's an alcoholic?" dad: "A guy who tries to pull himself out of trouble with a corkscrew."
What did one cigarette say to the other? "I hope I don't get lit and make an ash out of myself."
Man 1: "How in the hell did your toungue get so black?"
Man2: "I once dropped a bottle of whiskey on a freshly tarred road."
(Photo of an alcoholic stranded in the desert approaching an oasis) "I'll take a burbon - no water or ice." ↓
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| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 12:34 AM |
Drunk 1: "Next summer I'm going up to the North woods to find myself."
Drunk 2: "I'll give you a tip... you're not there."
Wife: "Aren't you embarassed to be going up to the bar... that's 5 trips now!"
Husband: "Nope.. I keep telling the bartender it's for you!" ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 12:38 AM |
| A wife asked her husband, "How come you don't play golf with Harry anymore?". Her husband answered, "would you want to play golf with someone who changes his score and moves his ball when you're not looking?" "I guess not." she replied. "Well, neither does Harry." ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 12:44 AM |
A beligerant drunk, after being handed a ticket, asked the officer "what am I supposed to do with this!?" The officer replied, "Save it... if you collect 4 you get a bicycle."
A woman called the local police to tell them that she had a drunk in her cellar. The police instructed her to make a line of drinks from the drunk to the cellar door and out into the yard and to the street to coax him out. She called back an hour later and complained again "I did what you told me and now I've got TWO drunks down in my cellar." ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 12:44 AM |
| That's it.... Just thought I'd share. ↑ |
| Name: PiageM | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 3:54 AM |
| Ok well thats kind of stupid. But thanks anyway i guess. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 4:13 AM |
| i enjoyed your jokes nicole. i think it's great how you can make light of a serious problem. my dad was a bad alcoholic for 28 years and is coming up on his one year anniversary with his newly transplanted liver, and i still laughed at these jokes. i hope you make a good and clean turn around and have fun at your baby shower! ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 4:50 AM |
If you thought they were stupid Piage then why did you read them? I actually wrote them on here for a few people that might actually enjoy them... Everyone is being such a bitch lately... it's insane!
Thanks Spanky. There are a few other girls on here in the program and a couple with potential AA husbands - that's why I posted them. I think they're funny. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 4:54 AM |
| ah nicole don't let it bother you. just tell yourself that everyone who posts rude comments is just pmsing. it'll make you feel better. i promise lol. ↑ |
| Name: PiageM | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 5:14 AM |
| Just because i didnt get your Joke doesnt mean i was being a bitch. Nichole take it down a notch from what ive seen you are the only bitchy one around here. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 5:18 AM |
| oh everyone calm down. piage, do you really think that calling nicole a bitch is going to make things better around here? and technically, she didn't call you a bitch. she said "everyone is being such a bitch lately" she said that collectively not to you specifically. ↑ |
| Name: PiageM | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 5:30 AM |
I didnt call her a bitch. I said from what i can see she is acting bitchy.
Wow all taken out of context. I'm done with this post i dont want to fight with anyone, i made my comment and i was attacked. ↑ |
| Name: spankyx0711 | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 5:32 AM |
| lol attacked?! talk about taking things out of context. . . . ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 5:57 AM |
| Thanks for the lighter subject Nicole ↑ |
| Name: nicole miller | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 4:42 PM |
Don't get your panty hose in a bunch! I didn't attack anyone- I said "Everyone is being so bitchy lately" because you made a negative comment, and collectivly this entire SAHM forum has become one big negative comment.
I just wanted to post some jokes... ↑ |
| Name: Nicola | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 9:13 PM |
| Oh for gods sake Piage! Lighten up, the title was drunk jokes, she's just trying to keep this forum jolly because recently all the otehr forums have turned into execution chambers. Freedom of speech, if she wants to post jokes she can. Gee whizz! ↑ |
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