When I was young I felt that having only one child was best for the child. My thoughts were by having only the one child I would be able to dedicate all my time to just her, I mean how can a mum properly raise several children and still be able to give them what they required (I use to think). I have just become to realize that in some cases having only one child can be detrimentally unhealthy to a child's social and mental growth. I am lucky to be able to say that my daughter does not suffer many of the set backs that I see other only children suffer. I have also been fortunate that most of the key elements to raising a healthy minded only child was in place. I had no clue as to what those elements were or how to plan for a single child's growth for me...I guess I got lucky, they fell in place by sheer luck!
Do you think that it is healthier for a child to have siblings and why?
For the healthy minded growth of a child I think raising a single child needs much more planning then raising multiple children together. ↓
|
|
| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 24th, 2008 10:42 PM |
hmmmm..i don't know. i guess it depends on the individual's circumstances. i don't think people should have more children than they can afford. i think if you have more than you can afford, some families will then have to live in a lower income neighborhood which in turn (for some places) have a higher crime rate. also i think the stress on the parents on trying to make ends meet can effect the kids. especially when the parents have to take on extra jobs/shifts, longer hours to pay the bills....which means they aren't home with their children as much.
basically...imo, whether they are an only child, or a child with siblings makes no difference to their mental or social growth...it's how the parents deal with it and whether they are extending themselves to more than they can handle. i don't think it has anything to do with whether they have siblings. that's my opinion anyways. lol.. ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 24th, 2008 10:45 PM |
I do believe if you plan to work and have children at the same time you should have more then one child. Many children that are alone with no siblings and have working parents never feel they belong. They then can develop behavioral problems due to these feelings.
I do believe most children that are only children grow to be more indigent then that of a home with siblings. An only child learns how to do many things on their own with no one but themselves to depend on.
There are certainty prose and cons to both, however I do believe overall a multiple child home is much healthier for the child. ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 24th, 2008 11:04 PM |
I know from my experience having only one child that there are many things that were harder and more stressful on both myself and my daughter by her being an only child.
For instance I became her sister brother and mum the things that a child may confide in another sibling with she had to come to me. As she grew there were times she felt she had no one to confide in she felt alone, That is a terrible thing for a young child to have to feel. Even though she had cousins and school friends she learned early it wasn't the same. Because I was able to be home with her I was able to recognize many things that a working parent would never be able to see, so there for I could address it at that moment. If I worked I would not have been able to address them and she would not have had an outlet for what ever it was that was ailing her. Now if she had a sibling they would be some one she could confide in some one that she felt belonged not a school friend or a cousin but some one she had a deep comfort with. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 24th, 2008 11:55 PM |
well i do hope that my kids turn out that way....that they feel like they can rely on and confide in eachother. but at the moment, they can't stand eachother. Anika flips OUT the second Lex comes even remotely close to her....they fight with eachother ALL DAY LONG!!!!!! of course they have moments where they have fun, but for the most part....right now...i think that they wished that the other didn't exist!!!! ha ha...
ah the joys of sibling rivalry eh?!?!? ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 25th, 2008 1:12 AM |
| They will, rite now there still young as they grow older they will come to depend on one another.... especially with the don't tell mum & dad moments. Knowing now what I know I cant say I would have changed my mind about only having the one, but I definitely would have done a lot more research on how to raise a single child. ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 25th, 2008 2:20 AM |
well i guess now that i think about it more.....i was an only child up until i was 10 years old when my dad remarried. his wife had a daughter that was one year older than me. my dad and his wife also had a baby together and my half brother was born when i was 11. my step sister and I were best friends...completely inseparable. it was really nice having her around all the time and we really did stick up for eachother ALOT. we were always there for eachother. and now that my brother is 15 years old and is getting into the dating scene, he comes to me alot for advice. trust me, if you knew my dad, he's not the best person to get realtionship advice from. ha ha...
so yeah. it's nice having siblings.
but honestly, at the same time, i didn't really know what I was missing before my step sister came along as i didn't know any better. i had a best friend who was my neighbor, and him and I grew up together and I guess you could say we were like brother and sister. his parents and my dad were very close so we were all kinda like family....so i always had him around. but once i had a step sister, i realized it was totally different. not bad...but just different. maybe because it was another GIRL to talk to...i have no clue.
but I do hope my kids can learn to love eachother in the future. but for now...no hope in hell...ha ha ↑ |
| Name: lindalu | Date: Nov 25th, 2008 5:21 AM |
I don't think being an only child you are conscious of what you are losing by being an only child. For my daughter she didn't miss the actual percents of a sibling, what she did miss was the not having a certain kind of bonding that one can only get from a sibling. Sure she had me to talk to but there are many times she kept to herself because she felt what she had to say wasn't appropriate mum and daughter talk.
I have 6 brothers and sisters growing up I always had some one to confide in... some one I knew I could trust unconditionally. She didn't have that! When my mum died I had my sisters and brothers they understood what I was going through because they too were going through the same thing. When I pass my daughter will not have that comfort, she will be alone.
As a child grows they learn certain order, they learn how to be a child they can only learn this from other children. Just as dogs do in packs, they bond with one another developing a deep trust that last for life. As I said previously I and my daughter have been fortunate or lucky that she didn't suffer any adverse affects due to her being alone. I have seen other children that have had serious issues with trying to fit in some where that they end up finding trouble.
I am not suggesting that every child who is brought up alone will have problems, however I do believe that by being alone they miss out on so many family values that you can only get from having siblings. ↑ |
|
|
