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I think I'm depressed. I want to be a good mom but I hear myself saying "no" all day long, I can't help fear that I'm breaking my daughters true spirit. I hate that all day long it's "don't touch that" "don't do that" "stop that" etc... I really need to learn a new way before she resents me for ever. Any suggestions? It really saddens me to have to always be the bad guy (I am married but hubby is at work 101/2 hours a day incl. comute). I'd appreciate any input. Thanks. ↓
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| Name: Michele | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 4:23 AM |
| You are not a bad mom for saying "no" you are providing for her safety and security. Children that have no boundaries do have their spirits broken as then they feel no one cares. ↑ |
| Name: Kris | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 5:36 AM |
| Thank you for your reply. I just feel like I'm a big mean person to her -- not the nice mommy I was 3 months ago. Now that my daughter is three all h--l broke loose and I thought I was being spared the terrible twos -- uh no -- just post poned! I just don't know what to do instead of telling her no. If you have any secrets please let me know. All reasonable suggestions welcome. Thanks again Michele for your reply. ↑ |
| Name: Michele | Date: Feb 17th, 2006 2:59 PM |
| Actually the term is "terrible twos and threes"!! I have found that giving choices on some matters helps and lets them have some control over their environment. Nothing to do with safety of course, but little things like what she wears, what to eat (between a couple of healthy choices of course), and weather to go to the park or the zoo for example. ↑ |
| Name: gillian | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 1:27 PM |
| i fell that you will be a good mum i am even becoming a mum i am just as nerves as you are but i feel that we can get through this i am going to be at home with my child when it is born as well dont worry keep your chin up ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Mar 3rd, 2006 2:35 PM |
I have what I call a controlled mess. I know they like to get into my desk drawer so I put things like crayons, little nick nacks - they get thrilled at being able to get into mommy's drawer and get the staff all over the floor.
They like to open capboards in the kitchen - I have pots and pans there that they get out and bangs together.
I bring a big tub full of toys in the middle of the living room and they spend long time digging through.
In short, they like the mess - I give them the opportunity, but I know what is going on, unlike them getting into valuable or dangerous stuff.
They are too little to pick up after, so I have to be willing to pick up - but that's the part of the job description.
As for behavior, I'm telling a lot of "no"s to my 2-sooon-to-be-3 year old, you have to. If we go to a public place, I found it's so much better if I talk to her beforehand, explaining what's going to happen and what's expected of her - that way there's much less crying when it's time to leave. ↑ |
| Name: Irene | Date: Apr 8th, 2006 4:07 AM |
Hi Kris how are you?
when your daughter is about to do something shes not supposed to, call her name and say to have a look at this, and go on and on about how pretty it is, and you could just either pretend you saw a butterfly on the kitchen bench or a bird kissing another bird outside, you can make up anything you want, you know what i mean i hope,
and depending on how old she is get or make a reward chart and reward and praise her for everytime shes done something good, stickers are great, any kid loves them,
I know its hard as i have 3 boys to deal with, its not easy and your not a bad mother, its just that your the primary carer all day and night and sometimes us Moms we just snap it and we tend to lose our patience,
we must though remember that kids get bored and they also can pick up when we are stressed and when they do thats when they get into anything and everything and play up just to push our buttons,
have a period during the day, preferably just after morning tea before lunch where its just you and her time, where you play games for around 30 minutes, song & dance games, puzzles or blocks or even doll dress ups, that way she has something to look forward too, and then by this time its lunch, after lunch its reading time, just one book of her choice then down for a nap, then its YOU time,
i hope Ive helped out as much as i can,
let me know if this did help,
take care and God bless ↑ |
| Name: vivian | Date: Apr 10th, 2006 5:36 PM |
that the roll of a mom!!
If you didn't do it you would be doing your job!!
being a mom is the hardest job out there!!
if your looking for some extra income come to my sit
http://tinyurl.com/m4m4w ↑ |
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