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Am I alone on this one? My husband plays his computer all the time!! When he comes home from work he jumps on the computer. I hate it!! I am ignored and not appreciated. I clean, cook, yard work, grocery shop. Lets put it this way. He goes to work. And comes home and plays the computer. I do everything else. I feel like I am raising our kids all by myself. I also go to work when he gets home for a few hours. I feel so bad for our kids. he is playing his dumb game and I think our kids need more attention from him! But he says he does give them attention and he dont ignore them. Well when I try to talk to him and he is playing his game more than half the time he dont here a word I am saying. So how can he not be ignoring my kids? He probably just throws them a bone. If you know what I am saying. I say something about it all the time. But he dont care. He said "if you hate me so bad then why dont you divorce me"? So he would rather me divorce him than stop playing. I am with our kids all day. They are 2 and 10 weeks. Let me tell you how good our conversation is. And I cant even get some adult conversation when he gets home. What am I sapposed to do. I am tired of it. It scares me to say I am getting ready to leave because besides that our marriage is great. If he didnt play his game!! Please help!! I am tired of crying about it. everyday when nobodys looking. I am ready to throw in the towel on everything. ↓
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| Name: Tara | Date: May 25th, 2006 3:37 PM |
| Oh my god, i am in the same boat. i have a 12 week old daughter. my husband used to play all the pc games(he is also a computer programmer) so you would think that he gets enough of computers at work. oh, and he plays poker online. so how did i fix that? i broke the processor to the computer. hehe!!!! he just thinks it broke down. also he does have a laptop that he brings home from work, and i logged into his email, and he has been getting on the online dating sites, is your husband doing that. i know about adult conversation, i never get any from him. he also says if you hate me so bad divorce me, that is so funny it is like we are married to the same man. he does sometimes ignore kelsey but i get onto him about that, and he gets off the computer and plays with her. im about ready to leave after i found that he has been getting on the dating sites. you arent alone!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Angela1 | Date: May 25th, 2006 4:10 PM |
My husband isnt getting on the online dating sites. But he talks to his friends on his game more than me. So I always call him gay. My husband also works with computers all day. He works for one of our local school districts as a computer tech. And he also brings his laptop home. Even when we go out of town he has to bring his stupid computer. Even if we dont have internet. He will watch a movie on it. Its like he cant stop looking at it. And he always wonders why I never want to be intimate anymore. Well for one thing that is the only time I feel the love. And I almost always go to bed before him because he is on a stupid raid on is game (world of warcraft) and he cant just quit. Like I even care. And when he is playing his game and I am trying to talk to him I have to repeat myself like 3 times. And after the third time of trying to talk to him he say "what? You have my attention now! Sorry i was killing a boss" . Well after repeating myself 3 times for some reason it isnt important anymore. We dont really have much of a socail life. Partly becasue it costs so much to do anything these days. But sometimes we go and hang out with my family. Like BBQs and stuff. But everyone always thinks he is in a bad mood because he is so qiute the whole time we are there. I think it is just becasue he would rather be home on his computer. And sometimes when he is playing his game I go and do things with out him. But it is a little embarrasing everytime someone asks where Creighton (my husband) is, I always say at home on the computer. Or when people stop by the house to visit the whole time they are there he is playing his game. Not even in the conversation. My company probably feels uncomfortable and I feel embarrased.
And about the kids. He dont get off the computer. He just says I always give them attention. And he says "atleast I am home, I could be out at the bar". Well he might as well be.
Anyways... Blah blah blah. ↑ |
| Name: Angela1 | Date: May 25th, 2006 4:17 PM |
| And if I broke something on the computer he would spend the rest of the night fixing it. ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: May 25th, 2006 5:12 PM |
My other half is exactly the same the first thing he does when he gets up in the morning is go on the computer and also when he gets home from work.
Try hiding his games and deniy al knowledge of it ,that will stop him! ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: May 25th, 2006 5:39 PM |
| Let him come home one day to find no computer! If he gets irate about it,hold a big mirror in front of him so he can get a good look at himself. Ask him if he likes what he sees.I think he has a computer addiction,obviously so ask him to choose either you and the kids or the damn computer. If the computer wins,go file for divorce and get all the child support and alimony you possibly can. ↑ |
| Name: Serina S | Date: May 26th, 2006 4:51 PM |
Ask him to limit the games to 2 hours a day. Because you need to spend time with him. Tell him you do not want a divorce but you need him to be part of the family. Try to get him some help!
I hope it gets better for you all!! ↑ |
| Name: KC Mom | Date: May 31st, 2006 8:29 PM |
My husband use to be the same when he first started playing online role playing games. I couldn't even get him to stop to come have dinner. It was really frustrating. I even tried playing too, so that we could at least spend the time together.
After our son was born, he slowly weened himself off of it. He is down to only playing after our son goes to sleep at night. Although he still has a feeling of entitlement that he should be able to play his game after he's worked hard all day since it's a passtime that barely costs any money, it use to be much worse. I think it took his realizing exactly what I do all day, how run-down and tired I was, to make him limit his gaming to late at night. Sometimes he stays up until 2am playing, but it's his choice to sacrifice sleep. He knows it's not an option to sacrifice his family. He's really grown up the past few years.
The only other thing I can suggest is that you find real men around you, who spend a lot of time with their families. Point out to him what greatfathers they are and what good husbands they are. It may make him realize how below-standard he is.
One more thing. You might try assigning a time for family activities. Make him agree to set times when playing is off-limits.
Good luck! ↑ |
| Name: sfaries | Date: Jun 4th, 2006 12:31 AM |
| Well, I must say I can relate - my husband is an xbox addict! There's nights when he will literally play until 3am. We've got an 7 year old and a 4 month old. The 4 month old is our child together, the 7year old is my f/t stepson from a previous marriage. Here' s my advice, and that's all it is. yeah, we need an outlet so maybe talk to him about having 30min w/ you when he gets home, and time w/ the kids before they go to bed and then he can play his game until WHENEVER he wants. With my husband all I really have to do is say "what's on tv tonight, what do you want to watch together"... we have created special shows we both enjoy to have some time together and have conversation as well. Right now - while I'm typing this - he's playing xbox. I don't care - I'm not jealous of the game though sometimes it does enrage me that I feel like the whole world of kids is in MY hands as well, all day and all night. Try my tactic - walk the older child right in front of him EVERYTIME you need a break - or need to do something and say - he/she needs a bath, he/she needs discipline, he/she is bored and wants to play. Don't ASK - ASSUME! Then with the itty bitty baby - if you're like me, 10 minutes of shower time is a DREAM - hand over the baby with no QUESTION ASKED TO HIM and say "I'm going to ______." Give him the responsibility. Believe me, they long for it - it makes them feel "manly". They give into our weakness because we ALLOW them too. Right now if my son started crying and my husband's playing his game - if I wanted - I would just go get the crying baby, take him to my husband and say "I need a break from this - I need to sit this one out - I'll be upstairs taking a 10 minute shower. REALLY, is he going to deny me a 10 minute shower after I'm home w/ these kids ALL day, dinner is cooked, and house is as clean is it could get w/ 1 baby and 1 small child? NO - but if I allow him to then he will. Take off your martyr hat and show him you're also in need of RR. Being a STAY at home mom is a FULL TIME job. If your marriage is strong, and he loves you - this will work. Take advantage of having him there - and don't expect while you're getting your time for him to do everything with the kids the way you would or even the way you'd want him too - but just be grateful if/when he does - that he does it at all. There are still men in this world who think that child raising is the mom's job and working and relaxing is the man's place. WRONG! He didn't mind getting the kids created - now he must help raise them into adults. And what he's (as well as my husband) modeling to them if he does not help you is that - women are slaves and maids. We are not, and you want your children to grow up knowing that both parents pitch in for things. Not just mommy - daddy's not just the "fun" guy - he's also responsible. Oh well -that's my advice - hope it helps - off my tangent! Going to get my hubby off of that xbox - I wanna watch TV and talk! ↑ |
| Name: Angela1 | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 4:33 PM |
| You all have such good ideas!! Last week sometime my husband and I got into a huge fight. (which is rare) And since then he has been doing sooo much better. He hasnt played since thursday. And he is even considering giving it up. He says he has a hard time playing in moderation. I kinda feel bad. But not that bad. He will find another release. But this is all still new. We will see how long he actually can go. I will keep you informed!! ↑ |
| Name: Kittyz265 | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 8:39 PM |
Hi!!!! My fiancee was the same way and the funny thing is that he played wow. He would go to work at 8 am then get home around 5-6-7 pm and would get on wow till 12 or so at night. I got sick really early in my pregnancy so I stayed at home and it was my job to do everything and take care of him.
When our son was born(april 28th) We stayed in the hospital for 5 days since i had a c-section but when we got home he got right back on every night. He then started to go back to work the very next day and my mom left that same day(god that sucked) About two later, I was very tired and fed up with everything. I was the only one getting up with him every night and when he got home after work, the only time he would spend with his son was at night when i went to take a shower. But after those two weeks, I cried when he left for work and i wouldn't tell him what was wrong...then about 3 hours later, i sent him a text message saying i couldn't do it anymore and i needed help. He said that he didn't understand why I was so tired since i got to sleep all day(so when do i do the dishes and the laundry...hmm..let me think...when the baby is sleeping....) But after that day, he only gets on wow on Friday and Saturday nights(he is on till 4 am sometimes tho lol) And I have the option to wake him up and have him feed the baby now on the weekends. I haven't done it yet but the option to do it is just nice. I hope you find a way for him to help you and spend time with your kids. It is more importaint to them than it is to anyone else. ↑ |
| Name: Tvresearcher19 | Date: Jul 18th, 2006 11:43 PM |
| Hey There! I know this is going to sound CRAZY but bear with me. I am a researcher for a new TV talk show called "The Greg Behrendt Show." Greg is awesome and we are doing a segment on 'manning up'. I think your story would fit into this category- but of course I'd have to learn more. Email me if interested! [email protected]. Greg may be able to help! I really would LOVE to hear more!! Maybe the segment could help him realize what he's NOT doing!!! ↑ |
| Name: Tonya | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 2:57 AM |
| i was like that... now im playin games too. he sucked me in. lol. i got tired of being lonely , if ya cant beat em join em. in my case anyways. ↑ |
| Name: Tonya | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 2:58 AM |
| i love WORLD OF WAR CRAFT!!! ↑ |
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