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| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 15th, 2008 8:58 PM |
| sounds like you need a break!!!! and I know you said sunday is your hubby's only day off, but my god woman...tell your man you need a day to yourself!!! just GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! go to a day spa, go shopping, go for a drive...do whatever, but get the hell outta there for a day!!!! about your boys....well boys will be boys....they are loud and annoying....and stinky!!! lol....but at the same time, they need some boundaries. i can't give you advice on disciplining....i don't know what's appropriate for your kids at that age. but i do know that when Lex or Anika wake up at 5 am, they stay in their rooms...i don't go and get them unless they are screaming their asses off, then i just go in settle them down and leave again. I NEED to sleep till about 6/7am or I am just a lost cause for the rest of the day.....well, your kids are older so they can just leave the room on their own...maybe lock them in there after putting them to bed, so in the morning they can't get out!!! ha ha...i have no clue. sorry. although your hubby works alot, surely he'd cut you some slack every now and then. just ask him....never hurts to ask...say one sunday, your kids wake up really early, just ask him to deal with it. my hubby does it for me if i ask him. he's just as tired as i am, but he has never complained about doing it, if i ask once in a while. you could try putting your kids in a daycare like once or twice a week for a couple hours at a time or something...just to give yourself some space. if you're not happy with what you're doing right now, you have the choice and the power to change it. i don't care what people say...daycare isn't a BAD thing....and giving yourself that time away from your kids might help you be a more patient and happy mother. good luck Irene!!! :-) p.s. ear plugs and duct tape might work too!!!! lol... ↑ |
| Name: Lola-May | Date: Nov 16th, 2008 2:40 AM |
| 2 words..."military school" That's terrible that they're so disrespectful to you. I think it's also terrible that your husband constantly gets "the" one day to sleep in. It's not just "his". You work longer hours(because it's never ending) you work harder and you get no pay and no respect. I think you should be entitled to a day off. Maybe alternate who gets the Sunday off so it's fair to both of you. Just because he's bring in a paycheque does NOT mean he's more entitled to a day off than you are. Have a look at this website and see if it in any way helps. http://singleparents.about .com/od/parenting/a/kids_behavior.ht m ↑ |
| Name: red87 | Date: Nov 16th, 2008 4:05 AM |
| When do YOU get a day off?? I couldn't imagine 4 boys! Im busy enough with ONE daughter! I agree with bmes...take a day for yourself!! And like Lola said above...maybe alternate Sundays, that woudl be a good idea - and it's fair!! I'm hope the 2 of you figure something out so you can get a well deserved break and hopefully, feel better! ↑ |
| Name: winnmom | Date: Nov 17th, 2008 4:11 AM |
| ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) First off I need to state.....THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE! every parent feels over whelmed at times, and seriously needs a break......... Irene here are some things we do in our home........ On the weekends, it is quiet time until 9 a,m......YES 9 a.m.......and if someone can not follow that, they they HAVE to go back to bed.........they are allowed to get up and play games QUIETLY, or read, or what ever quietly......normally I am up before this time but it gives me the option..........also if I need a nap, I take one........and again, this is quiet time, and if one can not be quiet they too have a nap...........and they have learnt quick that yes this is quiet time.....or back to bed they go. I would also like to state that when children get over tired, they tend to sleep not as well.........so maybe try having them go to bed earlier then say 11 pm? over tired children just do not sleep as well.......... but yes you need a break, if hubby is not willing, maybe some family can take them, or hire someone?But first maybe talk to hubby about him getting up once in a while......but yes you TOO need a break. ↑ |
| Name: GoldiLocks | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 6:44 AM |
| Thank you all so much :-) really appreciate all of you i truly do,, ok update is good, Hubby is starting to spend more time with the boys & his tone of voice has changed, my 8 yr old has been diognosed with aspergers & it makes so much sense now with his behaviour & now im being taught how to react when he does the things he does, im really exhausted, its a long & tough journey but i will do my best for my boys to give them the life we all deserve, anyhow ill keep u posted, i just got home from painting the kids sunday school & im about too collapse, so im off to pass out, hubby is taking boys to bowling, im staying with my 2 yr old and hopefully have a quiet night, bless you all xxx ↑ |
| Name: Lola-May | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 8:28 AM |
| Aspergers? Woah, that's a tough one. How are you doing with that? How are your other children with it? Do they understand what's going on and are they adjusting well? My cousin has 3, yes 3 autistic boys. I know autism and aspergers are not the same but there are certain elements that are similar. It will definitely be a whole new learning process but the bright side is that now you're aware and can take those steps to make life easier for yourself AND for your son. Plus this way there's a solid reason for his behavior and he wasn't just being a brat. Once you all get used to the changes and adapt to it, things will run much more smoothly. It must be frustrating for him, especially without knowing why. The more you learn about it, the more you'll be able to connect with him and help him to feel more comfortable with himself. Good things will happen. Be strong. ↑ |
| Name: GoldiLocks | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 12:20 PM |
| I agree with you Lola! I have just emailed a long letter to the School & told them about his diognosis & now they will able to get funded & help him out at school at least, I am also taking him to a Psychologist (excuse spelling) & she is great, he loves going to her, he knows that theres something different about him but he doesnt know what it is, it is extremely hard at home & at school, cause he knows he is different & so do his brothers, they are constantly yelling at him & asking him whats wrong with you, stop being so annoying, why are you like that? & apperently kids at school say to my other sons that their brother is weird & omG that breaks my Heart, i just want to cry :-( although its soooo hard & i want to cry, i hold it inside each time & he has been better, he used to always ask me why he was weird? & i would just say you are not weird, you are Unique & Special, it was as if i knew he had Aspergers,! anyway I dont think i will tell him yet about aspergers, i think i will try get things in a daily routine around here & start doing the things that i have been taught to do & do that each day so maybe that will help him! today though has been somewhat easier, becase even at his worst im at my best, & i will continue to do that always! I am also arranging a one on one interview with each family member, from Mother's , Father's, Siblings & Cousins & tell them about Aspergers so they too can understand & not mistreat him thinking that yeah he is just a spoilet brat & that its not bad parenting! i have a lot of things i need to change around here, with hubby & myself & get things to run smoother & happier place to be in!! anyway thanks for your support on this, i'm off to bed because i am now over tired, once again thank you Lola & Thank you everyone!!! xx ↑ |
| Name: bmes | Date: Nov 19th, 2008 3:16 PM |
| hey Irene. wow....well i was going to say the same thing. at least now you KNOW there's a reason for his behaviour and you can deal with him accordingly. good luck to you and your family. email me when you get the time k? ↑ |
