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| Name: kristin | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 7:50 AM |
| Pro's- Social skills, learning basic skills, making friends, bieng on a schedule. cons-someone else "raising" your kids, they get sick all the time, it is expensive, child abuse, not bieng able to see them very much. My son is in daycare fulltime right now and it is hard for me because I feel like I am his mom and I should be the one with him during the day. I am pregnant, and due in June and me and my husband have worked it out to where I will be able to stay home with my kids. But my son has had a lot of fun in daycare. He has made great friends, and had a great preschool teacher and he is so smart. (He is 3 yrs old.) I know it is a tough decision, but I personally think that if you have the oppurtunity to stay home with your kids, you should. I know you can tend to go a little crazy staying at home all the time, so if thats the case maybe get a part time job that works around your husbands schedule. If you are not married or not in a situation that you can stay home, just really check out differnt daycares, make sure they are good for your kids, and really be involved in what they do while they are at preschool. No matter what your child will know you love him/her and you will always be number 1. :) ↑ |
| Name: mary | Date: Mar 26th, 2006 4:17 PM |
| Con's outweigh the pro's for those who have the choice to work or not. Daycare can not love your kid like you can. The memories of those first's you didn't experience will never be in your heart. That bonding moment is gone between child and you. ↑ |
| Name: Helen | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 2:52 PM |
| UPSIDE of Daycare: ·Always more than one person available to watch, care for, supervise, and feed your child ·Interaction with other children ·Develop social skills at an early age ·Kid’s days are pretty much scheduled, routine, and consistent ·Daycare centers don't call in sick ·Kids receive a lot of mental stimulation ·Your house stays neater (although my son can make a mess in minutes) ·The kids enjoy the change of scenery and toys ·Cost is less than for a nanny ·English-as-second-language kids have more exposure to English DOWNSIDES of Daycare: ·Nighttime baths vs. possibly every other day ·Laying out their clothes ·Packing nutritious lunches vs. fast food snacks ·Morning rush to get out of the house on time ·Allow extra time to make the stop and drop-off ·Your child screaming, “Mommy don’t go!!” ·The guilt and bad feelings because you’re leaving them behind ·Less one-on-one attention from caregivers ·Potential personality conflicts at the center between parents and staff ·Potential personality conflicts between the children ·Ethics taught are the centers or the caregiver ·Values taught are the centers or the caregiver ·Possibly no ethics or values taught at all ·Political influences are those at the center/school ·Less bonding between parent and child ·Child learns early on that you won’t be there for them when they need you ·You don’t get to see and experience all the “firsts” that your child goes through ·You can NEVER recapture those things you miss ·When your child has a boo-boo you’re not there to make it better ·When your child is excited about what she/he has learned, you’re not there at the moment they want to share it with you ·When they’re not feeling well you leave them to someone else to care for them ·When they’re sick no one will baby them like you will ·More exposure to health issues: ringworm, lice, and colds/flues ·You’re not there to kiss away their tears ·You’re not there to waylay their fears ·You’re not there to set their wild ideas back on track ·No opportunity to have a spontaneous day ·No time to do “nothing at all” together ·To experience the joy of holding and watching your child sleep for hours (hopefully) ·You’re not there to teach them to climb a tree ·To explore the bugs and insects ·To plant a seed and watch it grow ·Playing “what do you see in the clouds” ·Less time to go to the beach, woods, hiking, swimming, biking, skating, etc. ·No time to just “play” ·To be your kid’s playmate ·To experience getting to be a kid all over again with your child ·Seeing and experiencing life through the eyes of your child ·No time to make pancakes in the morning ·No time to bake real cookies ·Not there to put a band aid on the invisible oweee ·Not get to see your child’s imagination develop ·Not get to see their personal development as much as you could ·Don’t get to see them beaming with pride at their BIG accomplishments ·Infants and toddlers spending 6-8-10 hours a day away from Mom or Dad ·The cost of daycare is an added expense: financial and emotional ↑ |
| Name: Ashley | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 2:10 PM |
| I have my 6 month old little girl in daycare and I think it is good. My little one loves it and my only problem with the daycare is they didn't change her soon eough but i talked to them and they were so great about it. They do teach your child alot and I think it helps them for school and helps you. good luck with that. ↑ |
| Name: Pro | Date: Mar 31st, 2006 9:28 PM |
| My kids started day care at 2 months. They loved daycare - we actually grew so attached to the family/provider that we would do activities on the weekend with them. My children are now in pre-school and love it as well. They tell me about their day, what they learned, what they ate, who's their best friends, the words, letters, numbers they worked on, etc. It was hard at first, but I saw how happy they were and still are. I see the teachers give big hugs in the morning to them, they are excited to talk to their friends and share a car or book with them, they share breakfast, etc. Our time is extremely special with our little one's, but I personally feel they need to grow and develope skills on their own, which they are doing by going to preschool or daycare. I think Helen was a little dramatic with the downsides. ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 5:28 PM |
| my daughter didnt go to day care untill she was two. She is now four and I can see the advantages of staying home with me because she is so smart. I can also see the advantages of day care because she is so independant and outgoing. I feel this comes from meeting new kids and learning how to interact. I feel that Day care is what you make of it. Spend as much quality time as you can with your children and if daycare is a necessary part of their day make sure they are at a good one that will add posatives to their lives. ↑ |
| Name: truth hurts! | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 9:23 PM |
| Helen hit a nerve.....she is right! Bonding with Mom is far more important than what daycare does. In the end, Daycare cannot love your child. When they reject you in their teens and adult years it will be too late to undo the damage done. ↑ |
| Name: help to re-bond | Date: Apr 5th, 2006 5:36 PM |
| You feel distant from Mom. You have nothing in common. You fake affection. Join 99% of adult children who experience this at some time in their lives with their moms. Question is: What are YOU going to do bout it? Here are some mom-bonding ideas to get started: Show appreciation for what she does for you by thanking her even when you don't understand her. Recall some of your favorite times with her throughout your life, and talk to her about those memories. Respect her, as you would any other valued friend. As soon as YOU change your attitude, things will start to change. Parents can make mistakes, too. If your mom treated you unfairly or made some other kind of mistake, try to put it in perspective. Think about what kind of mom she is in general. And if she apologizes for her mistake, consider cutting her some slack and forgiving her. Remember how imperfect you've been over the years before you go off on mom. Did she forgive you over and over again, without rejecting you? Time to do the same for her. Accept that you'll disagree sometimes and that's ok. At first, you may feel awkward trying to get close to your mom, but once you find out the kind of source of advice, companionship, and love she can be, it's likely to come more naturally. Trying to make a fulfilling connection with someone so meaningful in your life is definitely worth the effort. You'll want your children to do the same for you! Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world -- aren't you glad you're in the "profession"? Pass it on ©1995-2006 iVillage Inc. ↑ |
| Name: Lisa | Date: Apr 9th, 2006 9:42 PM |
| PROS: other kids to interact with and maybe they might learn things earlier CONS: too pricey and sick kids CON:you dont really know the person your leaving your child with PRO:the daycare may be more sanitary than the private home you leave your child in ↑ |
| Name: To Truth Hurts | Date: Apr 11th, 2006 6:33 PM |
| You are not listening! Yes, the bond is important and is not denied. The child is growing and learning on their own. Cut the cord a little - you want to support and guide your child to build their own little personality. Still love, teach, play, and enjoy every moment with him/her - but Daycare is a place for them to learn and grow and be proud of their accomplishments which will make you proud. You are also labeling teenagers and adults as rebelling against mothers/fathers that choose daycare - come on - this is a joke, right? Quit labeling and think before you speak. Are you psychic, can you tell me the winning lotto numbers? Geez, if your not a working mother - then why are you in this forum? ↑ |
| Name: to: "to the truth hurts" | Date: Apr 12th, 2006 8:39 PM |
| Rationalization of the PC generation still doesn't make it a good thing to have someone else raise your child. In time you will remember what Helen said as truth. ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Apr 18th, 2006 8:12 PM |
| everything has pros and cons. Daycare does not mean someone else raises your kids. Some of you on here sound so irrational and immature. ↑ |
| Name: to kassy | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 2:19 AM |
| why do they? they have a right to there opinions just as you do. you found a good balance for your family starting at two years is alot better than starting at two months, to me thats just ridiculous, where at two years at least you have formed a bond with your child and they know your mom. ↑ |
| Name: kassy | Date: Apr 25th, 2006 10:14 PM |
| Some people have no choice. I am due 7-27 and I am suppossed to return to work a week later because I can not get paid leave. My daughter will know me and that I am her mother. ↑ |
| Name: concerned mom | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 5:08 PM |
| are you saying that daycare providers can not love your child as much as you do? so is that the same as people who adopt a child? what is your opinion? ↑ |
| Name: to concerned mom | Date: Apr 28th, 2006 4:59 PM |
| You are rediculous! A daycare provider cannot love your children like you do and adoption and daycare are not the same! Get a grip. ↑ |
| Name: concerned mom | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 3:00 AM |
| i disagree with you on a day care provider not being able to love your children as much as you do.and the reason why is because i have ran a daycare in my home for 15 successful years.i never watch more then 5 to 6 children at one time.over the years i have loved all my children and most of the time i had them from an infant til they went to school. and they still keep in touch to this day.out of all the children there has been a few that i have loved as much as my own ( i have a 16 yr old boy and a 8 yr old girl.)when they went to school it was very hard on me and my family because we had grown very attached.those are the ones i hear from on a weekly bases .two of my familys have named my husband and i as there god parents if anything should happen to them,also i have felt and have been told that i took better care of them then the parents have.i might add that i have had the luxury of being very picky on who i have taken care of.so the argument that a day care provider couldnt love your children as much as you do,does not hold true. now to address the remark about adoption i put that guestion in there to show you that just because you caried that child in your womb for 9 months doesnt mean that other people couldnt love him or her as much as you do. my mother couldnt have children so she adopted me and 3 others from seperate familys and not once did we feel any less loved then if she had birthed us herself in fact we felt even more special because we were faught for and chosen.and when i chose a family to ( and believe me i have said no to some of them)take care of there child . that is how i approach the love and care of thier child.like they were my own and have been chosen. i dare you to call that rediculous or for me to get a grip. ↑ |
| Name: to concerned mom | Date: May 10th, 2006 8:14 PM |
| Good for you. I to love children that are not my own. But it is not the same for a day care provider and shouldnt be. Im sorry to burst your bubble and tell you you did your job wrong! You only wrote that because you want people to look at you and say oh wow look what she did. Day care providers have a job just like any one else. ↑ |
| Name: concerned mom | Date: May 11th, 2006 3:27 AM |
| That response to what I had said ,shows your lack of knowledge on what it takes to be a child care provider.Do you think it wouldn't matter to the parents If I didn't love them like my own?It does and I have 15 yrs of experience to prove it.That one simple factor is what gives them total freedom to relax at work and never once have to worry if thier ok.And If at any time they might feel a little insecure that the kids might love me more then them all they think about is what could be the alternative.I have had to many tell me this after years of service. I do want to say I am always lifting up and incouraging my parents to let them know we are all human and Im not a super mom.That we are a team. So if that is doing the job wrong then so be it.You don't run a successful business for 15 yrs by doing something wrong . ↑ |
| Name: Angie | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 6:18 AM |
| I think ppl should try harder to find a private sitter in the comforts of their own home! ↑ |
| Name: Just curious!! | Date: Jun 3rd, 2006 5:21 PM |
| What is the going rate these days for babysitters and daycare providers both private and public? ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Jun 4th, 2006 5:52 PM |
| I dont agree with child care if it is full time because you have kids because you want them not to palm them off on someone else! ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: Jun 5th, 2006 5:07 PM |
| Here's my opinion. Between my husband and myself one or our mothers worked full time since we were infants and one didn't. My husband and I both have sucessfull careers, we have been married 10 yrs - together for 15 and have two beautiful children. My BIL also has a sucessfull career and is newly married to a wonderful woman. My sisters and brothers are also in sucessful careers, and are all in 10+ yr marriages with two children a piece. My older brother is a recovering alcohlic, which I would say is the only scar for all of us. None of us have criminal records, none of us have depression (although my sister did go through a little ppd) and none of us see psychiatrists etc. HOWEVER, both of our mothers were extremely loving and devoted to their children. Now, which mother worked and which mother stayed home? ↑ |
| Name: LAYNE | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 3:37 PM |
| MY MOM WAS A WORKING MOM. i MYSELF AM A STAY AT HOME MOM. I AM 42 YRS OLD. ALOT OF MOMS STAYED HOME IN THE 70'S. SOME WORKED ALSO. I ALWAYS WISHED MY MOM STAYED HOME. NOW THAT IM A ADULT I SEE THAT STAYING HOME DOESNT MAKE YOU A SUPER MOM. ITS WHAT YOU DO WITH THE TIME YOU DO SHARE WITH YOUR CHILDREN. MY MOM WAS THE MOM THAT DID IT ALL AND IS VERY ORGANIZED.I ON THE OTHER HAND AM NOT. SO I HAVE CHOSE TO STAY HOME. IT IS A FAMILY CHOICE. I ENVY YOU MOMS THAT GET OUT. SOMETIMES YOU ARE A BETTER WHEN YOU GET AWAY AND COME HOME TO YOUR LITTLE DARLINGS. AS FOR THE KIDS BEING SMARTER DUE TO DAY CARE VERSES STAY AT HOME. MY KIDS ARE ADHD AND WE WORK HARD ON SCHOOL WORK. MY SISTER STAYED HOME ALSO AND HERS ARE STRAIGHT A .STUDENTS. BRAINS ARE ALL WIRED DIFFERANTLY. IN MY OPINION IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A MOTHER STAYING HOME OR WORKING.BE PROUD OF YOUR CHOICE OF WORKING OR STAYING AT HOME THATS WHAT YOUR CHILDREN WILL PICK UP ON. KINDNESS, CONFIDENCE, COMPASSION. IS WHAT I HOPE FOR MY CHILDREN.YOUR CHILDREN AS WELL. ↑ |
| Name: LIZZIE1418 | Date: Jun 19th, 2006 9:32 PM |
| Pro's- I am a working mother aswell as for my husband. we leave the house at 6 in the morning and get home at about 6 at night. it is great to know that our kids are well looked after. They are in a strict routine. There for they eat and sleep better. They are very spoilt and this has helped them come back down to earth. If i can put it like that. They interact better with other people. They are in a strict christian day care. A child should be raised in Gods way. They just love it! Con's- They are sick 50% of the time. It is costing us allot of money. My son was born 3months prem and does not get the attention I feel he needs. ↑ |
| Name: SarahT | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 7:36 PM |
| My 2-year-old daughter loves her daycare. The key is finding a place where both you and your child are happy and comfortable. I am lucky - with my work schedule, I only have her in daycare 20 hours a week. My daughter didn't even go into regular daycare until she was 14 months old (we had her with a family member from 3 months to 14 months). For about three months, my husband and I researched daycares and early learning centers. I was convinced my daughter needed to be in a learning center as opposed to a regular daycare facility. However, after touring more than half a dozen, I wasn't impressed with the facilities, the cost or the staff at any of them. Finally, one day at work, I told a co-worker that I was unhappy with the place we had chosen. She mentioned a home daycare less than a mile from my office (located in a relatively small town) that had received rave reviews from other moms in town. I drove by, and was surprised to find a beautiful Victorian house with an enormous yard and a ton of high-quality, newer-looking play equipment. I called the woman who owns it, and set up an appointment. From the first meeting with the daycare provider, I was hooked. She follows a regular pre-school curriculum with her "kids," and is very hands-on. All of the children in her "class" have been there practically since birth. All the children are young (she only takes kids until they reach kindergarten). We were fortunate to get a spot - it was only available because one of her students left for kindergarten. Her home is warm, welcoming and neat as a pin. My daughter has been there for almost a year, and she absolutely LOVES it. When I pick her up at the end of the day, I have to bribe her to put her shoes on and get in the car. She is always coming home with cool arts and crafts projects, and learns a lot from the lessons the daycare provider teaches. I think kids can gain a lot from a good, quality daycare. They learn more than their ABC's - they learn social skills, sharing, compromise and how to function and relate to the world without Mommy and Daddy constantly by their side. ↑ |
| Name: EthansMom0213 | Date: Jun 27th, 2006 8:02 PM |
| Here is my opinion as a stay-at-home mom. Just wait before you assume I am going to say all parent who put there kids into daycare should feel bad about doing so. I do not feel that way. I believe you do what you have to do. Unfortunately in this day and age we do not all get the privilage of being able to stay-at-home with our kids because of whatever reason it might be. Some women are so use to working that staying at home with there kids fulltime just isn't possible. No matter what the reason this doesn't make anyone a bad parent. We need to start realizing that staying at home your kids isn't a necessity to your child's well being. ↑ |
| Name: Denise | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 11:20 PM |
| My son was a thumb sucker and was sick every other day in daycare, so now he is home with me. But, sometimes I wish I had a break and he had someone to play with. ↑ |
| Name: Denise | Date: Jul 4th, 2006 11:24 PM |
| Not to mention, it was costing us $139 a week and all they fed him was crackers and apple juice. He did pick up some bad habits too from the other kids. They just don't have the time to give every child individual attention. When I go back to work this year I guess I will resort to weekends, while my husband watches the kids. ↑ |
| Name: tammie | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 1:26 PM |
| i felt the same way so i quit and started a day carein my home!! i love it.....i get to be with my kids and they get the social skills they need.....there is a web site where you can print out activities for the kids to do from p-k to 12th grade....ed-helper.com....if you are thinking about it to me its worth it!!!i missed out on to much with my oldest son i quit when he was 3 and now he is 8 he loves me being at home. ↑ |
| Name: hcousino | Date: Jul 19th, 2006 5:40 PM |
| Katie, I used to work in a daycare and I honestly would NEVER put my baby in daycare unless I was working there and could keep the baby w/ me. While daycare is good for social skills, you just don't know what goes on when parents aren't present. I've seen coworkers ignore kids, treat certain kids differently because they didn't like them or their parents, I've seen them completely disregard parents instructions and/or wishes. I couldn't take it anymore (especially after I got pregnant) and left. I'm now taking classes to run my own daycare from my home. That way I can stay home w/ the kids, still bring in an income and give other children the care they deserve. ↑ |
