so this morning i get the post and i have got a letter from socail services saying someone has reported me to them and that a social worker will be coming to my house on thursday to discuss the matter further and to make sure mia is there to.
oh my god i dont understand why someone would do this to me, im not a bad mum and i dont deserve this. yer sometimes i get a bit stressed and shout at mia when she is really naughty, but dont all mums?
i would never do anything to harm her in anyway, she is my life and i love her more than anything.
iv got nothing to hide when this socail worker comes but im so scared,
i dont no why someone would do this to me, its just some kind of sick joke, as there are a few ppl that no that the only way you can ever hurt me now is through mia.
im just totally freaking out now. its 2am and theres no way i can get to sleep. ↓
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| Name: momof3 | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 2:04 AM |
| Do you have a clue who would have one that?? Do you live in an apartment where someone could have heard you yell at her, and contacted social services. (Obvouisly that person would not be a parrent). I feel so bad for you!!! ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 2:24 AM |
I got the same Emma. It's so easy nowadays to get back at people. We did have a false report, and it was THE worst feeling ever.
This is what you do. Be polite and truthful. They will come in pair, one will be asking you questions, the other will be observing YOUR behavior and taking notes. Be as natural as you can be, which I could see from your pic - you are a warm woman.
Remeber - they CAN"T take away your child unless she lives in a filthy environment and is abused.
I feel for you. it was THE scariest experience of my life. It is just unbelievable how easy it is for someone to make a report with anything they want (which the social service workers will never show you and will never say who that was). ↑ |
| Name: momof3 | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 2:53 AM |
| I am sure that it will be okay. Do just as E says, and I am sure that you will be fine. We are here for you if you need us. ↑ |
| Name: l3itchyl3unny | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:39 AM |
Wow sorry to hear! must be really stressful for you. Well deep down you know you havent done anything wrong and your a good mum..so you can take solice in that.
Sometimes when people try and do the right thing..all they do is go and make it worse.
I know there was a situation where i wanted to dob in someone to social services because the mum was a drunk..just let her 3 year old do what it wanted including letting itself outside and run up the street, i lost count how many times the neighbours brought her son back for her. I felt badly for the kid..but didnt want to interfer.
Just keep your head high and i will wish you luck for thursday xxx ↑ |
| Name: Julia | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 4:14 AM |
| That's terrible Emma! Just be honest and stay calm. They will realize it was a prank! People can be so cruel and heartless!!!Good luck. ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:25 AM |
thanks everyone. :}
when they come it will be clear to see that mia is being looked after, our house is nice, shes got plenty of clothes and is always being fed, shes a happy little girl. there is no way on this planet that she is beng abused in any way at all, if anything she is iver spoilt.lol. my mum and gran are going to be there when they come also.
i no they cant take her off of me but its still scary having someone comeinto your house and ask lots of questions.
i just hope whoever did this to me, karma comes back and bits them on the ass... ↑ |
| Name: marija | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 11:12 AM |
Karma always bites back Emma
and the good thing about it if you want to see a good side..is that it will be noted that that person is making false reports so they wont be able to do it again!!
Your little girl looks like millions of other little girls around the world who know they are loved. Job well done :-))) ↑ |
| Name: mspeachpit | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 1:03 PM |
| i know how u feel. people have been threatening to take my baby (whose name is Emma) away from me since before she was even born. im still terrified that someone is going to do so. ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 1:08 PM |
| why would they threaten you? ↑ |
| Name: atomic snowflake | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 1:28 PM |
I would strongly urge you to tape-record all interviews with Social Services. You can buy something discreet with a microphone that you can attach to your clothing.
I am involved with Mothers For Justice in the UK and have a fair bit of knowledge regarding the Family Court System and Social Services.
There's no need to be alarmed, it's just that you should cover yourself in any kind of meeting or interview. ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 1:36 PM |
That is an excellent idea!!!!!!! I did regret afterwards that I did not tape the conversation. I would do it openly, though, I'd put it in the middle of the coffee table, and turn it on when they see it. Do it whichever way you are comfortable with, openly or discreet.
I do remember the workers jumped when they heard an electronic beeping sound when they were sittin in our room. "What is that?" they asked. We said, it was a fax machine receiving a fax. They relaxed. I was thinking afterwads, what were they afraid of? Why would they be afraid of beeping???? ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:10 PM |
E
Were r u from?
when they came to see you were they nasty in any way or tey and twist anything you said? what happened after? ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:46 PM |
I'm in Canada.
What happens is you - I - have all these negative feelings - for them. In reality they are just messengers. Save your anger for the whoever reported you. If you are on the aggressive-defvensive side - which I at first was - they keep writing your every word down, just like robots. They do not twist, but they write down all you said, and if you say something out of your anger, in writing it will be looking not good.
What they do they work in teams. This couple of people, after meeting with you, will come back to their office, they will have a meeting an a couple of days with the rest of the team, and the team decides on the actions. If you were very warm and inviting, even offered coffee, and were genuinely surprised at the thought of someone would ever think bad of you as a mother, and were very forthcoming in showing the environemtn your daughter lives, - they will present that all at the meeting. The best thing is to see them as people who do the crappy job - going thorugh the people's laundry basically.
The actions decided at that meeting could be an array of possibilities - from closing the file altogether to making a recommendation for you to undergo some sort of classess or councelling to appointing a social worker who would be coming at intervals to check on your daughter.
I do not think you should even have the file opened, so show you true side. Also, remember they represent Government, they are part of the government, so there is no way you can prevent them from coming to your place. All the courts will be on their side. It's all about you now, your behavior. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:47 PM |
| From what you are saying,you shouldn't have anything to worry about! ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:50 PM |
| Oh, and my file ws closed, because they didnt' find basis for accusations. I did read teh Family and Services Act - and it says that false reporting would be prosecuted - but it's not in your hands. It's Children's Aid decision, to prosecute. ↑ |
| Name: Lizzi | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 3:52 PM |
| A filthy house,a bruised,red marked,child,and no food would be something of concern but if you aren't in any way in that department then I'd welcome them to snoop all they want! People who knowingly, unecessarily call authorities just for their own amusement should be prosecuted to the fullest extent!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 4:30 PM |
thanks for that E.
i hope it all goes ok, ↑ |
| Name: Julia | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 4:48 PM |
| E, did you ever find out who did that to you and why?? ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 5:17 PM |
Well, from the things the social services people were asking it is possible to figure out who would know that particular bit of information. My husband did figure out who it was - it was his friend (who is not now), a cop with sneaky ways - he would put an anonymous note to a man about his wife cheating and such. He was bragging to my dh himself about this. He would extort services from businessess and not paying. There were bits and pieces the SS asked that my dh told nobody but him.
Needless to say he's dunking now away every time he sees my dh in town. He's an ex-cop now, but what a filth.
I hope all goes well with you, Emma. Keep us posted. ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 5:27 PM |
Oh and why.... You wouldn't believe how low that person is. That all happened, by the way, when I had one child, and she was 3 months old. My hubby bought a car at the auction that he wanted bad - and, as usual, at my hubby's cost. It was an older Jaguar. My hubby told him to talk to me because we decided that I would try my hand in selling, too. He says, "But she will want a lot of money for it."- pouted, basically. My dh thinks, so you want it from me again for nothing?
Then we get this visit from SS. He said there that I was mental, basically. To aggravate, his wife was working in Childres Services there - so he was basically complaining to his wife lol. ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 5:29 PM |
| So basically he wanted to destory our family for an old car? He thought maybe in his twisted way that we part as a result of all this? and he'll get his car for nothing from my hubby? What a filth! ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:08 PM |
| Name: Julia | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:17 PM |
| Karma will get that ass E, unless it already has anyway! What a horrible way of getting back at someone. Do you think you know who did this to you Emma? ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:18 PM |
| Lynne n, I was on the fence about you - but now I'm siding with Bunny - you ARE a nutcase. Cowardly, sneaking, rejected by the society, twisted, aborting a child without regret, no common sense - and you are what? 26-27?? and just keeping coming here to play. PSYCHO!!!! ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:40 PM |
whats that supposed to mean lynne???
yer i have got a idea of who it might be,
x ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:54 PM |
For your info i would never abort a child!
Get your facts right!
And the only reason that i am behaving like this is because of l3itchy,saxton-emma and the rest of little friends i would never behave like this to nice people! ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 8:55 PM |
What do you think it means?
Just that! ↑ |
| Name: saxton_emma | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 9:21 PM |
| i dont no thats why i asked you idiot..... ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 9:55 PM |
| Why dont you have a think about it if you dont kinow what that means then you are the idoit! ↑ |
| Name: amy | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:07 PM |
| omg really emma thats so upseting for you my mum was reported a few years ago we was nearly put in care it was awfull im here for you if you need me i no what your going through i was reported when i was pregnant by my midwife because i was down and i said i wished the baby was just out of me because the pain i was in so she reported me but they saw that every thing was completely fine they left me alone after a week they saw how i was prepaird for ellie and how much of a good mum i was going to be i dont care what people say i no im a good mum for my age and i bet you are as well emma keep your chin up babes good luckxx ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: Nov 15th, 2006 10:24 PM |
Oh emma sweetheart!
I am the one having the last laugh! ↑ |
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