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i have worked for years as a paralegal and after i had my children i started a business in my home so i could be there for them.but now i get the attitude from working moms that i am not really making a contibution to the world by staying at home.or im not really that intelegent. i might add i have had 15 yrs to observe this behavier.im not trying to be ugly, im just wondering. ↓
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| Name: teresa | Date: Apr 30th, 2006 11:41 PM |
um, sorry, but i had to just say that your spelling and grammar is a bit strange for someone who has been a paralegal for years & now has a home business of her own.
When are people on these forums going to admit who they really are instead of pretending to be other people? I know the internet's anonymous, but we aren't dumb here, we don't have to see you all to know you aren't all doctors and paralegals and lawyers like you claim to be.
and why would you mention you aren't "trying to be ugly", like you're already anticipating starting an argumentative discussion? ↑ |
| Name: andrea (just wondering) | Date: May 1st, 2006 4:29 AM |
Teresa Im sorry if Ioffended you by my question.If you had read more thoroughly you would have seen, that I said its been 15 yrs.I quit when my son was one.He is now 16 and I also have a 8 yr old daughter.I have had people directly ask me if I did'nt feel I was wasting all of my training and experience by staying at home.and here is another remark.I want to make a differnce in this world,I can't do that by staying home with my kids.This is my favorite "What a waist of a 5 yr college education."
And as far as my spelling and grammer I should have prove read it first but my 8 yr was bugging me to play her scholl has rock game.so I had to go.Do you need any more prove that this was a legitimate question? ↑ |
| Name: andrea | Date: May 1st, 2006 4:46 AM |
| OH OH Teresa I miss spelled proof .the grammer and spelling police are going to get me. Thats what my 16 yr old calls a person who criticizes other peoples grammer or spelling.(spelling was never my best subject in school.) you have a great day. : ) ↑ |
| Name: Jill | Date: May 1st, 2006 4:55 AM |
Andrea, I have a girlfriend who sits at home all day with her daughter and honestly does nothing. She tells her daughter to go to her room all the time, she stays inside all day, and she doesn't even take her duaghter to the park to play.
She used to work and when she got pg she quit. She is very smart but she sits inside all day watching soaps and MTV and causes herself undo anxiety about the outside world and gets into peoples business, gossips, and always thinks she has some disease that is killing her.
I have not had my child yet but I am very far along and still going to work and while pg I have obtained 6 credit hours towadrs my degree.
Maybe some working woman have been presented with a similar cae to this which is where the stero type comes from. In addition some woman who don't stay home are actually jealous which is where the resentment may come from.
Overall I would say it's a case by case basis. ↑ |
| Name: Jill | Date: May 1st, 2006 4:57 AM |
| Apparently after reading what I worte I realize I can't spell either (LOL) ↑ |
| Name: Paula | Date: May 1st, 2006 8:18 PM |
To those who may chose to criticize the bad spelling here, I'd just like to comment that I personally know people who are professionals who are horrible spellers.
One is a doctor, another an architect, and even an attorney who relies on his assistant to catch his spelling errors.
Many extremely intelligent people are horrible spellers. My uncle who was a respected research scientist, a mathematician who headed the research dept for Pillsbury many years ago, a certified genius, was a horrible speller. Mathematics was his language, he had no time for silly english, lol.
Proper spelling is a good skill to have, but it does not necessarily reflect the person's other skills. Especially when one is doing double duty as a jungle gym for a preschooler. ↑ |
| Name: Chris | Date: May 1st, 2006 8:27 PM |
| Maybe they are jealous. I know that I would love to stay at home with my son and now am expecting #2. My cousin gets to stay at home with her kids and my child is way more advanced than hers. I can't understand why, maybe it's the interaction with the other kids. She just doesn't work with hers though. They even take along a tv in the car on the way to the grocery store. It's kinda sad. In that type of case I do get mad that someone gets this amazing opportunity and doesn't realize how lucky they are. ↑ |
| Name: ! | Date: May 2nd, 2006 10:49 PM |
| I think I can sum this up with one word........JEALOUSY! ↑ |
| Name: DOT | Date: May 3rd, 2006 3:19 PM |
Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom Salaries For 2006
Are you wondering what mom should be paid for her work as mom? Salary.com has now valuated the "mom job" of both the Working and Stay at Home Mom! We consulted Stay at Home and Working Moms to determine the top 10 jobs that make up a mom’s job description. If paid, Stay at Home Moms would earn $134,121 annually (up from 2005’s salary of $131,471). Working Moms would earn $85,876 annually for the “mom job” portion of their work, in addition to their actual “work job” salary.
We found the job titles that best matched a mom’s definition of her work to be (in order of hours spent per week): housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO, and psychologist. New job titles that made the list in 2006 include psychologist, laundry machine operator, computer operator, and facilities manager. The job title of nurse fell out of the top 10 this year.
See below for the breakdown of "mom jobs" and the time spent on each job for both the Working Mom and the Stay at Home Mom, as well as their total "mom salary", including overtime:
READ MORE HERE: http://www.salary.com/careers/lay
outscripts/crel_display.asp?tab=c
re&cat=Cat10&ser=Ser253&part=Par6
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| Name: to ! | Date: May 3rd, 2006 3:21 PM |
| Name: mary | Date: May 3rd, 2006 3:27 PM |
Many gals I know who work, and have kids, say they would rather be at work because it's easier than daycare of the kids. They feel they have the best of both worlds. Society has brainwashed them into believing they must "work" outside the home to be valued.
I am blessed to know differently!
For me, they are missing the point - and joy - of raising children but that's just my humble opinion. ↑ |
| Name: To Mary | Date: May 3rd, 2006 4:36 PM |
| Name: Cherylcd | Date: May 3rd, 2006 6:11 PM |
| It is difficult and sometimes I wish that I did have the luxury to stay at home. Actully my new job offers a stay home program that I don't want. I am a single mom of 4 and when I was at home I had no one to talk to, no adults, just me and my kids. So I had to go back. When I try to be apart of the PTA the "stay at home moms" schedule everything during work hours because they are "STAY AT HOME". ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:29 PM |
| First of all, I have learned rather quickly that unless the opinion is coming from an uncondtitional love in your life, that opinion means nothing. My cousin retired from Law at 51 and is making the same money less 70 dollars a week, which she burned in gas going to and from work each day. She is estatic to be able to stay home with her kids, and other individuals that have anything to say to you about working at home to be closer to your children, are basically overwhelmed with jealousy. I work part-time and will never work full-time because my children are still growing and I firmly believe they need us. And if others are not willing to sacrafice the same fate, that is their choice. My children are number 1 and no one can take care of them or love them like I can. So you go girl and be with your family. Already you are better then they are. You are indeed making a contribution to this world by instilling morals and values into our future leaders. Our children. Good for you. ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:31 PM |
| People do make mistakes on here when typing fast............most do not check their spelling. My friend is a Doctor and a great one and he types very fast online. One would swear he did not have a brain in his head. hehe........Be nice guys. Some come here for advice. Not verbal bashings. ↑ |
| Name: Lynne n | Date: May 6th, 2006 3:30 PM |
Hi i am a stay at home mum,that was my chioce.
It dosent mean that you dont work you still work at home on house work and being a good mum.
To me my day starts when my son gets out of bed in the morning and ends when he goes to bed at night,and then i am on call!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: charlie | Date: May 6th, 2006 3:54 PM |
| just have a look under the Stay At Home Moms board on this forum and you'll see why working mums are looked down on. There is one post saying What did you have for brekkie? and there's like 30 replies, how pathetic, they've got nothing better 2 do wit their lives. ↑ |
| Name: Ashlie | Date: May 6th, 2006 4:31 PM |
| Ok I don't believe that they are pathetic it is just a fun thing to do to pass some time!! And I don't think that it is right for anyone to look down on anyone as long as the woman is doing what she has got to do to get her family by. I think that working mothers are awesome and so are stay at home mothers. NOW cant we all just get along! ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 7th, 2006 1:38 AM |
| There are many walks of life out there and we all have to do what is needed to survive and just because one chooses to stay at home with their children, does not make them less interesting as a human being, nor does it deminish their character or worth. Although my Mom was a working Mother, her sister was there for me and my brother when she worked in the daytime. I had wonderful influences around me constantly but today it is a different world. I do not trust many individuals with my children nor would I gamble with their lives for the extra income. We all work together in my family to make sure they are taken care of. And remember, at one time, Women at home were what kept the family unit together. At least where I come from. We are important no matter what we do. ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 7th, 2006 1:46 AM |
And this is to Charlie...........To some women, there is nothing better to do with their time then to spend it with their children.....helping them grow into fine, young adults. See, being an adult, we have the choice to decide what to do with our lives. What roads to travel, and what career we choose. It takes an incredibly loving human being with values bigger then most, to want to stay home with their children. Think about it? And I mean the ones who do not use their kids as an excuse to stay home and do nothing. That, I do not agree with. I do not look up to laziness by no means. I love my job, but I love my kids more.
And Ashlie? Yes, being a Mom is a full time job and JOY. We are on call even when the men aren't. It is simple geography. Right girls? ↑ |
| Name: Lynn | Date: May 7th, 2006 2:02 AM |
| i was on both sides of the fence: i was a stay at home mom when my child was young. since my divorce i have no choice but to work to buy food and clothes for us. being a mom is a hard enough job. try being the only income for your kids and see how hard it is to work and to be there for your kids at the same time. i appreciate both sides of the fence since i as there. the grass is never greener on the other side. ↑ |
| Name: lynn | Date: May 7th, 2006 2:04 AM |
| and as for the spelling thing...get a life people...no one is perfect. ↑ |
| Name: layne | Date: May 8th, 2006 10:31 PM |
| Ive been a stay at home mom for 10 years and i am ready to work. It is so scary to go out and work after all these years at home. my confidence is lacking. i do think that is normal though. Im planning on appling for a job this fall when the kids go back to school. I wouldn't change all these years home though. children grow so fast. We have done without so i could be home. But how do you afford daycare.... yikes! ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 10th, 2006 12:43 PM |
| I totally agree with you 100%. It is so expensive for childcare, that it does make it difficult for both parents to work, if there are 2 parents. So it is quite easy for some to judge, isn't it? I feel for those just returning to the workplace. I was in the same situation and I will set your minds at ease. It will be fine. You will be supported and admired, but you will miss being home with your children. I am about to work three nights in a row, 1-9, retail. But I am off Saturday and next week my hours go down a lot. And I look forward to the time with them. I adore how they light up my life and no job in this world can ever do that. Layne, you will be just fine. ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: May 10th, 2006 2:18 PM |
| Thanks Lee, your sweet. ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 12th, 2006 2:27 AM |
| You are very welcome, Layne. It is very easy for individuals to come here and judge, rather then give well needed advice. Some just watch too much "Sex in the City" to truely enjoy the realities of life as well as the honor and joy in which we are rewarded with by nurturing our beautiful children. I think that this should be a forum where we congregate to talk about "working Moms" and how we deal with the time away from our kids. And the special moments we share with them when we are together. Sappy, maybe.....But I absolutely loveeeeee discussing the fact that I created 2 miracles. The most important thing is to always make sure that when we work, we leave our children with people we know love and respect them. I live on the East Coast and most people that surround me are fabulous. Working Moms are as great as stay at home Moms. Children are proud of a parent that is loving, kind, giving and attentive when it counts. Remember that. ↑ |
| Name: former daycare provider turned | Date: May 14th, 2006 6:26 PM |
| chris the reason why your child is as you say more advanced is becouse its at daycare those people are payed not well might i ad to help your baby learn and develope moter skills its not becouse you are at work all day so you can thank day care providers for that. ↑ |
| Name: kristy | Date: May 17th, 2006 8:04 AM |
| hey there iu say that people look down on u because u stay at home to raise the kids, but iv actually found it the other way around, ever since iv started working again, i have three kids and have gone back to work after my 2nd two for money reasons, stay at home mothers look down on me because i am back at work and negleating the kids, and never there for them, which makes me soooooooo mad because the only reason im at work is to have enough money for the kids. everything i do is for the kids and it kills me to have to leave them and go to work, and it makes me so mad when stay at home mums look down at me for leaving them. ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: May 19th, 2006 3:47 AM |
Isn't that just rediculous??? I can't get over some people. Welcome to our shallow Earth. I always say that I wish to have lived in the days when my Mom and Dad were kids. When families visited one another, and good strong values seaped from our earlobes. But see, I do live in that world. It took me awhile, but I ended up following in my parents footsteps and turning into my Mother. OMG!!! How does that happen???
Point is............The world has changed for the most part. it is very difficult to survive with one income and not only that, as Moms, the good ones, we do not trust like the Mothers of yesturday.
I know Moms that work all day, and come home only to smother their children with I miss yous and I love yous. Some children have no loving moments with their parents whether they work or not. As long as your intentions are all for your children, working Mom or not, we rule. Thumbs up, Gals. ↑ |
| Name: Jennifer | Date: May 24th, 2006 7:57 PM |
| Lee - I totally agree. No matter what your situation or why you work or don't, your children will know your love if you show it to them everyday. I only have my own anecdotal evidence in life - my mother stayed home with us and my husbands mother worked. Neither one of us turned out "better" than the other. But what we both did have was wonderful, caring and loving mothers and that was evident in the little things done and said everyday. And, BTW, I think we are both devoted, loving parents both to our children and to each other (which I think is equally as important). ↑ |
| Name: Lee | Date: Jun 6th, 2006 12:02 PM |
| Yes, Jennifer, you are absolutely 100% correct. So this forum should be for the working Moms and the non-working Moms to congregate and talk about our great moments, experiences and accomplishments with our children. Don't you all agree? And thank you, Jennifer, by the way.:) ↑ |
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