| Name: Siren | Date: Oct 7th, 2006 4:16 AM |
Hi Pj754
Well its been a whole week and my boyfriend decided to come down and see me. He also mentioned on our phone calls that he will be down every other weekend to see me and his daughter of course. I get really lonely when he is gone , my heart just brakes. I do understand the importance of him working and making money and so on so forth. I accepted the fact that he needs this job and all and that eventually i will finish my school and then go move in with him. Tonight he called me at work to let me know he was just leaving to come here but i found it late because it was like 11pm and its an 8hour drive. I do worry about him so much when he is on the road because of the chances of him falling asleep on the wheel and so on so forth. I told him it that he was leaving late and he told me an incident that happend at work. His boss was working with him and put drugs in his lunchbox and guess what happen the cops stoped them and found the drugs. So it took two cops to hold him back from killing his boss. The boss finally admited that it was his and they busted his place, only to find more drugs now all is seized. Now my boyfriend truck was parked at the bosses and he had to prove that it was his truck and not the bosses. Now he has no job because all is seized. But he did tell me there is another company hiring so he will go see them. Meanwhile he cant work in this town because his ex boss is dragging his name through the mud. So he will go see the other company and hope to get a job there. I was really looking forward to moving in with him but i guess that will be put on hold. I hope he gets the other job because i cant keep supporting him with my little job. Well ill let you know what goes on when i find out more. I thoght that this week he was kind of cold towards me i did tell him i was scared and he asked me of what i told him of him not needing me no more cuz he has a job now and that he will find someone else to replace me. He told me that my thinking is making me sick that he told me he aint down there to find anyone else that he is there to work. Also when he left he said that he really dont want to go but he needs the work. I just dont trust easy now. He cheated on me before and i sort of build this wall around my heart. but not a big one cuz i get hurt alot still. Well hope to talk to you soon. I feel we have quite a connection going and i always look forward to your opinion. ↑ |
| Name: Francine | Date: Oct 12th, 2006 4:47 PM |
| Best to behave as if she is a visitor. Don't mention what you found. Don't confide anything to her - most likely going back to her mother with it. Let her have one on one time with her dad. ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Oct 22nd, 2006 1:23 PM |
| Hi Siren---I'm so glad to hear from you. Well, first thing, finding the receipt and telling you another town is taking his home town over. No, I don't buy it. Then finding the picture the boy drew with ex girlfriend's name on it. I don't buy that either. I'm sure you've been in his truck before and never discovered the picture until now? My instincts are telling me, he's still seeing the ex and is using you for money. I'm sorry Siren, I don't mean to hurt your feelings but I am really skeptic about this fella. If he told you his daughter never met them and then comes up with a lie that it was one of her friends that drew it? Nope, don't buy it. Then he throws in your face that you have an insecurities? In order to take the heat off of him, he points the fingers at you about your insecurities. Siren, he's trying to cover his tracks and doesn't want to lose your willingness to give him extra money or pay for something he needs. Then, he accuses you of liking your boss because your working extra houses. The one, who is cheating is ususally the one, who blames the other person. He's trying to make you feel sorry for him. Siren, he's playing you like a fiddle. If he was smart, he wouldn't have those pictures inside his truck while he's spending time with you. What are you doing by paying for his gas and tires? He has a job, why can't he pay for those things? I know in your heart you love him but continuing to give him money is not helping him to see the real you. Lets just say, you stop giving him hand outs, what do you think he will do? I'll bet he'll try very hard to get you to pay for things. Then, if you continue to put your foot down and say you don't have the money, after a while, he will stop calling or coming around. Siren, you want someone to love you for who you are, not for what you can give them. Your relationship with him sounds like it's based on money. Does he take you out for dinner and pay for it? Does he take you to the movies and pay for it? Does he do anything with you and pay for it? Or, are you the one, who is always footing the bill? Look, when I was younger, I use to foot the bill for my boyfriends, then I started realizing I was being used. My step dad told me he wished he'd met a girl like me when he was younger, one who paid for everything. That is your hard working money and you need to hold on to it. Because if he can't help himself on his own and is looking for you to provide, he isn't going to give you the respect you deserve. The only way you can make him see just how much you care about him is stopping giving him money and paying for everything. Then, sit back and see exactly how he reacts. If he's still willing to come and see you with asking for money, then you know he's in the relationship for the right reasons. If he tells you, he can't come and visit because he can't afford the gas, then you will have your answer about him. May I ask you, does he tell you he'll pay you back when you give him money for things? Has he ever made an effort to pay you something back? Siren, I just feel that your relationship with him is based on him getting handouts. If he honestly and truly was in love with you, he wouldn't do or say such things to you. You need a relationship based on love not money. Yes, money does help but it makes things, too easy. I'm sorry that this is ripping your heart out but you need to protect the wonderful heart you do have. If he thinks you insecure then he should make sure that you don't feel insecure. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you things you wanted to hear but this fella just doesn't sound very good to me. However, just see how things go. Try the money thing and see what he does. Take care of yourself and please keep me posted, I'm happy to listen. ↑ |
| Name: pj754 | Date: Oct 22nd, 2006 1:45 PM |
| Siren---I'm sorry if I'm always sounding like a broken record. It just hurts me to see your heart breaking. Now that he has a job, what is he doing with all of his money? Granted, it's probably none of your business but I would wonder what he's doing with it to not have money for gas. Is he blowing it by partying too much? These are questions I would be asking myself about him. I understand he has to pay child support but he's always had to pay child support so that hasn't changed. He just doesn't seem to be very honest and truthful with you. How do you know that he's not telling you the correct time that he's going to be in town? Perhaps he stops by the other girlfriends house before he comes to see you? I know you don't like hearing this but this just concerns me alot. He just shouldn't be treating you the way he does. That's not true love. As your good friend with a listening ear, I don't want to see you hurting anymore. Like I said before, the only way your are going to make him see things for what they really are is to stop giving him money. He's treating you like the doorstep to wipe his feet on. If and when you stop giving him money, you will start to see his true colors. Please don't take offense at what I said, I've been down this road one too many times. In the same token, I am always willing to listen to what you have to say. I may not agree with what's going on but I'm still here to talk. Cheer up and have a good day. You deserve one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Oct 24th, 2006 6:20 PM |
HI Pj
Well things are not getting better in my end. Last night he freaked out on me while calling because he never heard me say i love you on the phone when we were hanging up. He called me all kinds of names he says he cant hit me because im a women but instead he can hurt me with names. Then when i called he answered the phone without noticing and i heard him mention the name i hate the most the one he cheated with, well when i confronted him with it he said it was there friend that they were picking her up and her name was the same as the other girl. Maybe he is right we need to go our seperate ways, why do i love a guy that trashes me like this and puts me down. He decided to apply for welfare down there, which is good. I just dont know i have no clue in what to do. The thing is when we do split he is always calling and seeing how im doing and keeps saying i do love you lil. I know im insecure but he put those there and he wont take the blame for it. He also told me he was paying me back because it took me a year to leave my ex and that i was playing him for a fool, that our relationship started out as a lie. I made aware that he promised me he would stand by me and that he would never make me cry sad tears but only happy. He also said i dont know if i can get over what i did to him the leaving the ex after so long meaning it took me a long time to leave him. I am now questioning his love for me. Im dealing with so much, school, him, grandfathers death, and sexual abuse, and ex abuse, and work what else can come up. At times i think if i dont have no bad luck i have no luck at all. Everyone says i dont deserve this but he says i do. I told him that he promised me that we will do a new beginning when i came out of the women shelter that was a lie. Needless to say his daughter called here and asked for him i said no he is at his friends and she said ok and hung up no goodbye or anything i really dont like seeing or hearing her upset. I just dont know i think i need to get away by myself and think about things. Well he is coming to see me and get a few things in the process i dont know what to think anymore. Well just let me know what you think about this. Your oppinion is valuable to me.
talk to you later ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 2:48 AM |
Hi
Well things are different thats for sure. He has been calling me lately and being a little nicer. He called me 3 times today but i still think its to keep the fact that he is going out tonight. He probably figures that he will call before he goes out and tell me he wont be calling that i will think he is at home babysitting. Im not stupid i know he is probably celebrating with his friends at the bar im no fool. He is noticing that im not as talkative as usual he did ask me what was wrong because im short and direct to the point when i talk to him. I keep saying nothing is wrong. He also told me he found out what his daughter problem is she was caught taking drugs. Well its only a start with her he will have fun i can assure you that. But you know what is so good about this situation is that he never involves me in anything that pertains to her so i dont have to help him out on this one he is on his own i do remember him saying that im not her mother i am just a friend to her. I will be best to stay out of it. Well i think my love for him is slowly dying because im in the i dont care mode like i was with my ex. and when that started then i eventually left him. I vowed if i end up single i will take the time to get to know myself more. I am taking the time to do school work while he is probably partying and i sit here for nothing. He is coming to see me but only leaving tommorow so be it. He told me it might take him 12hours to get here because the snow and all but i think its to drop off the bimbo that went to see him the other one he was messing around with i strongly beleive she went to see him. Tonight i really dont care what happends i am slowly learning that he is the one that will be at a losing end. I have guy friends that would just like to beat him because they say he as a good women and dont know it. Oh well his loss i guess only time will tell. Im tired of breaking my back for someone that only thinks of himself. Im taking it a day at a time and while he is here i will talk in the me verb instead of the we. Im tired of playing his games all together. Im taking it now one day at a time. If he realizes it he will noticed the change in me its time to start thinking of myself. Time to be selfish i guess
let you know what else comes up ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Oct 29th, 2006 10:40 PM |
| Hi Siren----You are definitely better off. It does sound like he's the one on the losing end. He's probably meeting up with the other (??????). Good, focus on your schooling. That's the best thing for you to do, is FINISH!!! I'm so proud of you!!! I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. This is just terrible. Your right, fixing yourself inside first is the main key. Everything else falls into place. I do hope your time with him won't be horrible for you. Yet, stand your ground. Remember, you are in control, not him. If his daughter is doing drugs, well, he has his hands full. That's sad because he should be nipping it in the butt now before she gets so hooked, she can't get off of them. Your right about staying out of it. Like you said, it's not your problem. You've tried to help so many times with no effort of consideration coming from them. Well, I'd like to know how your weekend went, so keep me posted. ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Nov 8th, 2006 6:21 PM |
Hi tweety
Thanks for your input. my weekend went well with him, we never had an argument not even once. Since he left he has been calling me every day and been actually nice this time. He does bring back the fact that i can find better at least a guy that has a job. I keep wondering how long till he gets back to the whole self. Has for the daughter he sees her very little seeing that he is disapointed in her because of her taking drugs. She is now going to start a job at a subway maybe that will keep her out of trouble. As for school its going ok still working on it and working full time so its hard to do both, but im doing it. I'm also a little upset because i learned recently that pj754 as left us she was quite the inspiration and such a good friend, i hope all is well with her. I really do miss chatting with her and hope nothing but the best to her. Well tweety i will chat at you later take care and hope to chat to you again.
bye ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Nov 18th, 2006 4:54 PM |
Hi Tweety
Well boyfriend been gone for 2 weeks and things are good so far. I am actually making plans to go see him. We are meeting in this town where he will then pick me up we will spend the night in a motel then decide where we are going from there. There is only one day were he actually got really upset with me but i expected that seeing that he had just lost his grandmother that day. But believe it or not he was talking to me on the phone last night and actually poored his heart out to me. He mentioned that he was a problem solver for everyone else that he didnt know or he couldnt express his feelings to me because he never learned how, and that he doesnt know where to begin. He mentioned that he wants me to be with him for a long time. He says im the one he wants and no one else. He just doesnt know why i love him, because he dont see what i see he says. I keep telling him that if he only knew just how much i love him maybe he would get a clue. Well he is questioning me on why i love him so and so on he say to actually find out exactly why ilove him. He is making an effort this time. As for the daughter i told i was scared that she will make him leave me because she dont like me, and he told me you think im that crazy i know you never hurt her or did anything to her , you treated her good the whole 5 years we been together and if she gave me that ultimatum she would loose. I dont know he is turning a new leaf, but why am i so skeptical i take a day at a time now. I still havent talked to his daughter but i still ask how she is doing when he calls her. I guess only time will tell. I know one thing being apart actually makes him have time to think, and he told me thats what is happening i guess its good thing. Well let me know what you think. Talk at you later bye bye ↑ |
| Name: billy22 | Date: Dec 12th, 2006 12:32 AM |
| Do you mind if I ask how old you are? ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Dec 12th, 2006 4:38 PM |
HI Billy
I don't mind at all i'm 36 ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Dec 17th, 2006 3:49 AM |
| Hi Siren---You need to let him go. He is being so rude to you. What he is doing and allowing his friends to do to you is totally wrong. You don't need to listen to him dissing you like he does. He's not worth the time or energy. I wouldn't worry too much about being alone because you are a wonderful person that there is someone else, who would fall in love with the qualities you have. Not to mention, appreicate them. Girl, seriously, he's hurting you in so many ways. He's trying to tear you down mentally so you will think that you have no one else to turn to but him. Nope, don't fall of it. You need to break it off completely with him and move on with your life. You have been focusing on your school and that's great. I hope it's going well for you. In due time you will find a wonderful person to love you whole heartedly. I'm so sorry you are hurting the way you do. Please hold your chin up because the things he's telling you are not true. I'm sorry if I sound so mean, I don't mean to. He just isn't the right person for you. He will never change. Honestly, are you willing to spend the rest of your life going through this kind of drama with him? Try to stay positive and feel good about yourself. It's him that has the problem---not you. Please keep me posted and I will stand beside you no matter what you decide. ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Dec 28th, 2006 1:49 PM |
| Hi Siren---First of all, you are not stupid by no means. You are a very, very intelligent woman. You have a super good heart and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are too forgiving when it comes to your boyfriend, though. He is being really mean to you and you don't deserve this. It's because his life isn't going very well and he's trying to drag you down with him. If his parents think less of you, remember they are only hearing his side of the story but he is their son and you probably won't be able to ever change their minds about you. That, too, you will have to let go. What they think about you isn't important anymore. What's important is what makes you happy???!!! Siren, paying his bills is something you need to stop doing. That money can go toward something you truly need. He needs to get a job and pay for his own stuff. I wouldn't hold my breath in believing that once he gets his inheritance, he will pay all your bills for you. I doubt that would ever happen. He probably has another girlfriend on the side and will continue to have one as long as you keep putting up with his lies and b.s. He's not being true or fair to you at all. You have to see this. Yet, you have to stop all communication with him. I mean stop totally. No more calls, no more visits and certainly no more giving him money. You are too generous for him to treat you this way. If you want to give your money away like you do, give it to cereity instead of your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is certainly capable of making his own money and paying his own bills. Siren, he is using you terribly to get what he wants out of you which is your financial support. That's it, nothing more. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be cutting you down like he does. I know you hurt, dear, but you have to let him go. Don't look back when you do!!! He isn't worth it. You need to get your schooling finished, find a decent job and take care of yourself. Get yourself something you've always wanted. That $445.00 you gave to your boyfriend could have went towards something you truly wanted but was putting off to get. Look at how much the 15 year old appreciated you lending her your jewelry to wear. That's someone, who truly appreciates you for you. That's how people are suppose to treat you. The ones that treat you like your boyfriend should be insignificant in your life and you don't need to waste your time with. I'm telling ya, the sooner you stop answering his phone calls and tell him it's over between the two of you, the sooner you can get on with your own life of happiness. But, you have to make that step and only you can decide. I am so sorry this is happening to you. If I was there, I would watch over you to protect you so he wouldn't be able to bother you. Stand strong, Siren!!! You are a good person and other people do see, it's just your boyfriend, who is trying to tear you down. Let his nasty comments that he says to you bounce off your shoulders. It just shows how narrow minded he truly is if he has to say things like that to get under your skin. Please, I do hope you will let him go because I want you to start experiencing a happier life. However, you know I'm always here no matter what you decide. Overall, I do hope you had a nice Christmas and your family is doing well. You take care, I'll talk to ya soon. ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Jan 12th, 2007 5:08 AM |
HI Tweety
Well now for an update. The boyfriend went back out of town to see if he can get a job. and since we last talked he was suppose to be gone till after the hollidays but instead he arrived here on xmas night which surprised me all to hell. He says one thing and does another, go figure. He spend new years ever with me and so on he left like on the 4th to go back which didnt bother me cuz he was getting grumpy again. He is now down there out of town that is and he is affectionate all over again, joking and so on so forth. I am taking things a day at a time and nothing more. I am so much into my school work and so on that i really dont have the time to actually realize that he is nice to me strange but its true. The only thing that bothers me is that his daughter called here and my mother answered and she said thanks for the gift my parents bought her, and when she called another time and i answered there was no thanks no nothing just "where is my dad " and thats it. So the way i look at things she don't like me so be it i don't care. Meanwhile My boyfriend during xmas hollidays had to go see the daughter because one 18 year old guy was threatening the daughter saying she will not live till the 2nd of January. Now i wonder what did his daughter do to deserve this she aint no angel. Meanwhile the daughters friend was going through the same things but she tried to kill herself and so on so forth, but they caugth her on time now she is in a mental observation hospital for kids. I feel bad for the kid hurts me to see that. But with his parents and friend saying all that stuff about really doesnt bother me anymore somewhere down the line i found a little self esteem because i am thinking of myself as a caring person. I actually go out of my way to help others. I'm down to earth with everyone and all that meet me like me so i have no problem its his family and friends that do. Maybe they never met someone like me not my fault they are ignorant to those kind of people. As for school i have been struggling big time, but i talked to one of my former professors and he assured me that i do know all my stuff and that i am studying the right field, its just that the teachers are jerking me around and making me study 12 chapters in so little time in order to do my placement to graduate, needless to say i am taking my time and i will graduate when im ready so i will succeed eventually. Well just thought i would keep you posted on my situation and please dont hesitate to comment. Talk at ya later. take care ↑ |
| Name: tweetybird4 | Date: Jan 13th, 2007 2:15 AM |
| Hi Siren----I was just thinking of you and checked to see if you had posted anything and here you are. I'm so proud of you!!! You are truly focusing on what is really important......YOU! Even though your schooling is a bit challenging, you'll get through it. I'm sure if you keep good communication with your professors, they will help you. Well, as least your b/f didn't say nasty things to you while together. That's a plus. It's seems like you are feeling much stronger about yourself to let him and his friends not bother you. That's great, Siren!! Just like I said, there is nothing wrong with you at all. It's the people, who chose not to see the real you that has the problem. I agree with you about his daughter. It sounds like she does alot of things she shouldn't but she's been allowed to get away with it so she will continue the behavior. Changing her life style is only up to her at this point. Well, keep your wits about yourself. There's nothing wrong with hanging out or enjoying yourself. It sounds like your not putting up with any more b.s. from anyone? Glad to here. Just keep telling yourself, you deserve better and you will have it. It just takes the right kind of heart who will find you. I'm so glad to hear your doing fine. You know, you inspire me. You still keep moving forward despite the curve balls thrown at you. You have a strong will about you. Someday, you will reap your reward. Well, don't get burned out on school. Take your time and enjoy it. I was in school before my daughter was born and haven't been able to get back into the swing of things. I'm planning to go back, I think next fall. I was studying Computer Aided Design (CAD). Drafting was a bit challenging. I sort of liked it but it was hard to understand. I might decide to change my degree. I'm still unsure. My down fall is math. I would love to get into troubleshooting computers. I learned on my own time how to rebuild a computert, add new hardware, totally clean out a harddrive and reinstall windows. Oh, it took me many hours to do it but I wouldn't give up until I figure it all out. So, hang in there, you will graduate. Yeeeeahhhh, I'm looking forward to it!!!! You go girl!! Well, thanks for keeping me posted and keep me up to date when you can. I'll always be thinking of your. xoxoxoxoxxo Tweety ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Jan 28th, 2007 8:33 AM |
HI Everyone
Here is the latest update. During the hollidays he decided not to go see his sister and actually showed up here on the 26th something like that he didnt stay long at his parents and so on so forth. But things are still no good I think i might be falling out of love with him well confused at least because i do love him but Something as been really bothering me and i m not sure what it is. He left tonight to go see his daughter and i was actually happy to see him go. He tends to get on my nerves and he is in one of his moods. I just dont let things get to me as much dont know why but i was told that im in a different category in my relationship with this man, I was told that im questioning this relationship and noticing that i can do better. After all he aint working and im paying his bills i need to stop that. Now the daughter tried something new in her dad life she tried to commit suicide with a bic razer, I know we have to take precautions but with a bic come on now. Her dad thinks its all nothing but a cry for attention, she told her mom she tried it while she was sleeping and the reason is because she is mad at her mom and dad and school. I know she wants her dad to split up with me and that she wants mom and dad together and that she is failing is due to her. My boyfriend says she is crying for attention but she got it he got her help and so on but still aint doing much with her more or less taking time away from her. I walked in yesturday as he was talking to his sister on the phone and he was telling her that his daughter wants him to live his life by her rules and he said i will not do that, but thats his problem i only ask how she is doing and thats it i am not getting involved with her after all she dont like me so be it and i decided that gifts and so forth is at a minimum now why buy expensive when she dont like me no wayyyyyyyy i refuse, thats too bad cuz i love spoiling her. Has for the friends they went out of town for their sons operation and the hubby decided to drive there he called here to talk to my boyfriend but unfortunately he wasnt here and i told him that but he drove by town and stop to see me at work, I really felt out of place for someone that dont like and and him coming to see and calling me sweetheart so strange. My boyfriend got a little upset because he came to see me asking me how long he stayed and so on so forth the jelousy of some men damnnnn. He kepted saying his friends wife dont put out so he would do anyone at this time. I replied well i wouldnt do just anyone i do have respect for myself, and to start off my boyfriend is the one talking about how i am in the bedroom with him to his friend so he is asking for trouble and going to get me in trouble i hate that and i told him he thinks its funny because he has it good as he would say. As for school didnt do too well but with the stress ive been having its ok i will redo a few courses to up my marks and be doing placement in september instead, the thing is that i am hanging in there with that and most of my teachers said that they cannot beleive the determination i have considering the bad luck ive been having i guess i dont quit until i succeed. Well that is all for now hope ot hear from you. I do appreciate your thoughts and suggestions and let me tell ya i do take it serious after all some of you have experienced what im going through. Have a good day
Siren ↑ |
| Name: fate | Date: Feb 12th, 2007 12:02 AM |
| as a teenage child, there's alway's a parent they try to blame for there short coming .she might like you but feels her life would be different maybe you should talk to the father so he know the problem then talk to her on her own so you can let her vent what she's feeling ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Feb 25th, 2007 10:56 PM |
I think by leaving her alone and not cussing at her is the right thing she will come around eventually. I find she will realize that im not there to do her any harm. Im taking a day at a time. I just hope the father dont leave because of her. I know she has problems but she is seeing a psychiatrist to help her out. The best thing is to stay out of it.
Thanks for your input greatly appreciated.
Siren ↑ |
| Name: Antonio | Date: Oct 17th, 2007 1:15 AM |
| I have being part of my Step daughter since she was 2 years old and i love her with all my heart but long time ago i had to make the decition of crating a step father to step daughter relationship due to the fact that her father still takes her every other week and confusion for her was about to happen. Well she is 14 years old and she participates in sports activities at her school, she is having her first game and my wife and i dont really know what to do about her dad comming to the game. We also have a 6 year old and a 3 yearl old together that do not know about the third person so part of me is really asking me what in the world i am going to do that day or what i'm going to say when they see this other man who is not dad kissing and hugging their sister. In the other hand i feel like it would be very unfair to my daugther not to see her dad in such important event in which i know she would love to see us all. I know she comes first but i'm really confuse on how to really approach this situations, i have to remind you that her father has being over the years the most arrogant and dificult person to deal with from a comunication point of view to visitations and child support. ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Oct 20th, 2007 5:41 PM |
Hi Antonio
I understand your situation, but there comes a time that we have to put all aside to give happiness to the ones we love. I think in later life your daughter will thank you for letting her dad be part of her life. My step daughter realizes now that i am not here to take her dad away. Recently her dad cheated on me and i took him back yes i am a fool, but he is on his last try. I dont understand him i do all for him i get up with him to cook him breakfast before work then go back to bed until its my turn to go to work. At the moment i am doing my placement for school which is from 8:30am to 4:30pm then i work from 4:35pm to 10:30pm then come home to cook his supper and cleaning and laundry to go to sleep at 2am then up again at 6am. What i dont understand is why does he run to the other women when he gets all he needs here. The only good thing about all this is that his daughter is the one that snitched on him. I love them both but lately i feel that my love is slipping away for him. I am always wondering where he is and with whom he is with. Its something i have to deal with but i made it clear to his daughter no matter what happens i will always be here for her. I think you will know what to say to your kids once you are in the situation and there should be more men like you, considerate of their stepdaughters feelings. hope to hear from you again ↑ |
| Name: daisy255 | Date: Oct 26th, 2007 6:59 PM |
You should never have read her journal. Start over by taking baby steps to create a better relationship. She has a lot of pain.
Something is eating her up. Is her father giving her enough attention and spending time on a regular basis? Take a deep breath. Never try to be the second mom but be a friend. Its super hard what kids go through. ↑ |
| Name: kelly | Date: Oct 28th, 2007 11:16 PM |
| I think you have to tell her Dad- the blogging may have been on a bad day- All kids hate their parents and stepparents at times, however, the picture is disturbing and I believe your boyfriend needs to get her some counseling. ↑ |
| Name: Siren | Date: Nov 3rd, 2007 3:39 AM |
HI Kelly
Actually i've got her some help, her mom didnt know how to go about it and seeing i am studying to be a social worker i know the contacts in our area to help her out. She now is 16 and has a boyfriend she dont call her dad unless she needs something like money or a ride to go to stay with her boyfriend for the weekend, He is 21 so a little older i dont agree with them shaking up for the weekend, but there is nothing i can say she isnt my daughter. All i know i listen to her dad when she asks him if he likes her boyfriend and he replies until he does her wrong, such bull, because he has been putting me through hell and back. I sit there and tell myself the nerve of him to say things like that,when he dont practice what he preaches. Now with his daughter she likes me i knew it was a matter of time but i still dont get close to both of them because since he cheated and she went along by not telling me i have put up big walls. I am actually waiting for him to do me wrong again so i can actually break down and then say time to start over. So many people keep telling me there is nothing i wont do for him and that he is a lucky man to be catered the way i do. Oh well thats just me. Well i hope things will change for the best but deep down inside im just waiting for the day when we go our seperate ways. ↑ |
| Name: Ottie | Date: Nov 12th, 2007 2:35 AM |
| You have a "step-parent" role--- you will be the "hated" one--- it sort of goes with the territory. They hurt --- children with split-up parents... they look for something/someone to pin it on..... You can be as wonderful as you want.... it doesn't matter--- this isn't really about you. NOT really! If there was someone else in your shoes, then that person would receive the brunt of the hatred......... Live so as to be true to yourself.... know for yourself who you are and there's not much you can do to control how she feels........... ↑ |
| Name: dragonflylady | Date: Jan 10th, 2008 1:59 AM |
| hello everyone, im new here ↑ |
| Name: bobbys_punkin | Date: Jan 16th, 2008 12:12 AM |
| remember...she is 15 and has to vent like the rest of us. She just prefers to do it in private. When i was younger i did keep a journal. My mother did read it on a regular basis to make sure that there was nothing that would hurt me going on in my life. Yes i sad mean things about her. She never took them personally because she knew that I had to vent. She also never confronted me about anything in it. (unless it would put me in danger) Now my mother and i have a very close relationship because of it. it doesn't work for everyone but it did for us. If she really didnt like you she would tell her father the truth. Either that or she sees that her father is happy with you and wants the more happy home life for herself. I would completely disregard anyhting that she says in her journal. She is just venting. She may have been mad at those times she was writing it. That and if you feel that the relationship is coming to an end...Let it be...Love Shouldn't hurt that much....Also the daughter knows that its only a few choice words and you are gone....but you are still there...she does like you and likes the fact that her father is happy with you. don't ruin it for her either. Also think of the pressure of having divorced parents... at the age of 15...I hope for the best for you...Good Luck!! ↑ |
| Name: mandy | Date: Jan 18th, 2008 7:50 PM |
| id watch her every move ↑ |
| Name: mandy | Date: Jan 18th, 2008 7:52 PM |
| u shud be veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy careful have a `stepson like this so i no wot am talking about ↑ |
| Name: og217 | Date: Mar 13th, 2008 7:38 PM |
| If your boyfriend is living with you - in your house, not one that you and he got together, then its your right to say who can and cannot stay there. You also have a right to look through the belongings of any child in your care. Tell the boyfriend and explain that she is no longer welcome in your home. A 15-year-old can actually physically harm you and this psycho attitude? Why do you need to be dealing with this? He wants to see her, have him take her to Chucky Cheese or whatever. ↑ |
| Name: louise | Date: Apr 3rd, 2008 8:42 PM |
| Name: Siren | Date: Apr 4th, 2008 6:14 AM |
hi everyone
The daughter is now 17 and i found out why she was acting like this. She felt i was taking her dad away from her i sat her down and talked to her and reasured her i wasnt there to do no harm to her. Since then me and my boyfriend are seperated and living at different places but trying to work things out. I did get the child some help and she told me its because of her dad she needed the help. She confided in me that her dad was living a double life while with me he was with someone else. Recently he told me he had a job out of town and moving there only to find that he was moving in with his other girlfriend. Well the girlfriend called me one day because he was with me at that time and told me everything so when i confronted him he went there packed his things and moved to his sisters house where i have been going every second weekend to see if things will work out. So far all is well but the last two days he has been really moody, he calls me names but i dont take it i hang up on him and when he calls back he asks me why do i hang up i told him i do not need his abuse no more. He tells me to change my number why should i he doesnt have to call it. He said we were through only to call and ask if i want to be together, oh my god i think this guy is screwed and very much confused in the head he needs to deal with some of his own issues. Now he wants me to move with him and keeps saying i wont because i never rush into things, i find that in time by watching him that i will change my mind why would i want to move there only for him to say get the hell out this is my place then where do i go, therefore i am studying this matter. Yes i love him and want to work things out and want to move in with him but i want a secure life not a screwed up one. ↑ |
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