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Name: Sheila
[ Original Post ]
My ex and I had a seperation aggreement with child support and visitation regulated.
He took my child to a therapist and it was agreed that the child would spend equal time at each of our houses. He has decided to stop paying child support, because equal time is spent at each home. He makes more money than me and refuses to help pay for extra curricular activites, or winter clothes etc.
Any suggestions?
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Name: Raina | Date: Jan 18th, 2006 10:57 PM
Hi Sheila. Here's a thought. Keep the issues focused on helping his child, not helping you. Perhaps letting your ex know that all issues between you and he aside, your hope in co-parenting with him is simply to offer the best collective care to your child in the big picture. Consider telling him that you understand you each now have equal expenses in raising him/her - of which you are capable of (food, shelter, day to day clothes, etc.), however, you find it more difficult to provide your child with the extras you would like him/her to have, such as a new winter coat or lessons. Maybe by telling him that you are not looking for support he'll be more responsive to contributing to the individual extras that will keep 'his' child happy and warm. By always keeping the focus on the best interest of your child he may realize that buying a coat or enrolling in an art program is only helping his child, not you. Some parents get too caught up thinking they are providing for their ex-partners and lose sight of the fact thay they are providing for their children. Hope this helps! 

Name: Casey | Date: Jan 19th, 2006 1:36 PM
He should still be paying you child support. Have you been to court yet to have a judge set an amount? If not you need to do that. I have the same custody situation with my ex. We both have the same amount of days of visitation but before we went in to see the judge we agreed he would pay me 50 dollars a week. When we got before the judge the judge looked at me and said.. Are you sure this is enough child support for you? And like a fool I said yes, but it is in no way near enough. So I think where you make less money than him he should be paying you child support. I'd look into it. good luck. 

Name: Rae | Date: Jan 19th, 2006 9:23 PM
Sorry to hear that.I think a good way to deal with this is legally through the state.Child support gets taken out of my ex husbands check every month.This way you'll never have to deal with it or talk about it.Contact your local child support agency(district attorneys office)I had full custody of my son till he was 3 then I had full physical custody and we shared sole custody.Now we both share physical and sole.(He's friends with his lawyer)A child support aggrement was set at 259.00 per month 6 years ago which still stands.My son is now 9. No it doesnt pay for much. He's never paid a cent of childcare,sports,clothes, busspasses for school, nothing. Since he got half custody last year, hes seen him 6 times.Funny hes and electrician and owns a home and drives an infinity suv. My best bet is to not waste my energy on fighting with him over it. Its best to just take what he is willing to give and the rest is up to you. No its not fair,and we struggle but be proud you are the parent who provides your child with his/her needs. Its a great thing! 

Name: afro_sista | Date: Feb 13th, 2006 4:07 AM
I would suggest retaining a lawyer if you really need the child suppport money 

Name: Christie | Date: Oct 8th, 2007 5:14 AM
My husband pays child support for 3 other kids and since he had that set up he and I had two kids together will that effects the ammount he pays to his other kids even if the two we had together live with us? 

Name: patty | Date: Oct 9th, 2007 11:29 PM
He can't just decide not to honor the contract, its called contempt cf court.
Just because the time is 50/50 that does not mean that he is taking her shopping and getting all the supplies that she needs.
Keep all of your receipts and give him a copy so that he will know monthly what you are spending to support her. Explain the same copies will be going to court. 


Name: autumn_leaves | Date: Oct 11th, 2007 5:48 AM
Why should he pay u child support? When u have them, u support them, when he has them, he will. Agree to split costs of activities, 20 bucks for this activity, 20 for that. Besides that, u should be responsible for your house, and him for his. 

Name: Bigge | Date: Dec 14th, 2007 2:18 AM

Name: melissa | Date: Apr 23rd, 2008 5:31 PM
can you help me 

Name: pryer | Date: Jul 1st, 2008 11:43 PM
how do i find out if my husband is paying childsupport for other children? 

Name: pryer | Date: Jul 1st, 2008 11:47 PM
if my husband has 3 kids that he pay child support for but is married to me and we also have 3 kids can his hildsupport be lowered? he only brings home $200 bi/weekly 

Name: lisasing | Date: Jul 2nd, 2008 4:50 PM
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Name: ann | Date: Jul 14th, 2008 8:08 PM
If he makes more it is his responsiblity to help provide for your child. Child support is figured so that if the two of you were still together what would that child have?!?! It is not fair for him to not pay support so he can be Daddy disney land and buy a bunch of crap for a kid just so they will want to come see him. I see so many men lavish stuff on their kids just because they think it makes them look better 

Name: Lisa | Date: Aug 6th, 2008 3:14 PM
I need help ladies, big help I have a real deadbeat on my hands and keep running into a brick wall with the NJ probation department. I have alot of papers from them but no money. It costs me money to be a bounty hnunter for my deadbeat ex. Wait until you hear this story. My ex has 2 outstanding child support orders for two different kids in NJ He is in the arrears of 100k. His family and girlfiend hide money for him He works off the books. I finally got him to pay something after 15 years, by luck he had a traffice violation and the warrant came up in NJ. He fled to the Roanake Va area. It took me 3 years to find him in Virginia. By luck I searched for traffic violatons in Va and guess what he got a ticket for driving without a license. NJ probation will not contact the Roanke Police Dept. for his address to serve a long arm warrant to bring him back to NJ to face a judge. What can I do no money for an attorney. Any of you ladies live in Roanke are??? Hopeless in NJ 

Name: lisasing | Date: Aug 7th, 2008 1:33 AM
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Name: LINDA | Date: Aug 18th, 2008 1:48 AM
MY EX HASN'T PAID CHILD SUPPORT IN OVER A YEAR . I WENT O LEGALBANKSEARCH.COM AND ACTUALLY FOUND HIS BANK ACCOUNT . I HOPE THIS HELPS 

Name: cindy | Date: Aug 18th, 2008 9:38 PM
my childs dad pays child support we never maried i had to take him to court so he would heelp me two years later he wants me to stop his child support so he can get married to another woman she dont know he has a son that is 5 years old he is a very sorry man please help 

Name: really ticked | Date: Sep 9th, 2008 4:10 PM
Hello all, Just really needed to vent about my dead beat, Who moved out of starte. hasnt paid me child support since 06/2006 And because i dont have any info on him they (doemestic realation )want to close my case and zero out arrearages 13k. Just because they dont see him paying anything in the future. I thought child support was inforced! Watch out ladies this could happen to you! this should be ladies best kept secret! What do i do know? 

Name: amy | Date: Oct 14th, 2008 7:08 PM
i just moved from nyc to fla but my son father said since i moved he no longer has to pay child support it was not court orderd but is this true 

Name: Rick | Date: Nov 12th, 2008 5:07 AM
Linda can you tel me more about the website legalbanksearch.com I ordered the product and still havent recieved anything yet 

Name: abdul | Date: Nov 21st, 2008 11:31 AM
hello everyone 

Name: o.g. | Date: Dec 6th, 2008 8:01 PM
you should pick up your own share if you have 50% custody. The fact that you don't make as much as him does not become someone else's problem suddenly. 

Name: sara | Date: Dec 8th, 2008 3:21 AM
my dad and mom are split and i dont want to live with my mom anymore but i dont know if my dad has the means to take care of me. would child support help with this or would it be mostly up to him. 

Name: jassal | Date: Dec 16th, 2008 12:02 AM
Question anyone out there - I'm new to this, be kind..... As a payers new wife, if my hubby earns say $ 1300, and the EX wife earns $1400, does that mean that my child support would go down? Is the payee's assessment done on her gross wage? Does anyone know of if there would be a change? 

Name: msteve02 | Date: Jan 12th, 2009 10:28 PM
I think this depends on what state you live in Google the question. Has he changed jobs recently or had a decrease in pay? 

Name: daniel | Date: Feb 2nd, 2009 6:01 AM
well if yal have the child equal amount of days.. why should he have to pay? if he has to pay then you should.. but that would just defeat the purpose.. makes no sense having him pay just cause he's male and yal have the child for the same amount of time.. if he makes more money then that's good for him.. maybe you should go out and find a better job or higher your education.. 

Name: beside myself | Date: Feb 24th, 2009 6:52 AM
I really think there is no change for anyone that is either after support or getting arrears in support. My husband has pd every dime and still shows in oklaoma that he owes back support. We just get told that it is a interstate problem. But when you get your taxes taken every year from that state and then the state you live in doesn't care what the hell are you suppose to do. They explain to us that they go by all the guide lines. What is a guide line? Oregon suport is as worse as our governer and senators because we asked them for help to. Never even got a call back. In fact a lady at support Oregon told me when talking to her that our support was pretty low compare to what a constrution worker was making that only has one child to pay on. It shouldn't matter what anyone makes when it comes to child support. Everyone knows what it cost to raise a child and love is what cost the most. Not betterness which all our children hear.
Besides you and her or him made them take them of them together sharing the cost so each of you can go on and have a happy home. 

Name: babe | Date: Mar 10th, 2009 3:16 PM
hi every one i am here to get help and offer as well 

Name: savannah | Date: Mar 18th, 2009 1:21 AM
hi my name is savannah and i really want to live with my dad but we dont know what to do like how old do i have to be to choose please help me my email is [email protected] if anyone has infromation please send me an email 

Name: Marg | Date: Mar 23rd, 2009 4:06 PM
You will need to take him back to court to readdress the issue. He cannot decide to discontinue child support - if child support was formulated and itemized in the sep agreement, then he is legally supposed to pay! File a motion to family court detailing how he is in "breach of his separation papers" - he will then have to continue paying you (plus the back pay), and he will have to file a motion with the courts to discontinue paying you child support. 

Name: amber | Date: Apr 7th, 2009 4:31 PM
I am currently receiving child support and have been now for 4 years now. Our child is now 11. I need an increase but the NCP has 3 kids with another person. Does it matter that he has 3 other children as far a my increase? 

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