| Name: pj to trent | Date: Aug 1st, 2006 7:29 PM |
| You know what? I feel guilty that maybe I'm not the right peson giving you some advice. After I posted, I have been analyzing everything you have said and feel like my son (13) is experiencing the same feelings as you. My son was angry with me for getting a divorce. He begged and pleaded for me to go back to his father but I couldn't. His father was mentally and physically abusive to me and the children. Yet, I can't help to wonder if my son's aggressions taken out on me and his siblings were from another man, whom I met during my divorce? Perhaps, he felt like he could become the man of my home and wanted the chance? Do you suppose even at the ages of 10, now 13, he felt this way? When I would try to have one on one conversations with him, I wouldn't get a straight answer. I just didn't see this until I started talking with you. My 12 year old daughter doesn't feel the same way as her brother. She's happy and very content with her new life. She was glad I left. She knew I was miserable. She wanted me to be happy and sees it. Yet, I always wondered why my son didn't. I never thought a better life all the way around would effect the kids they way it has. I hope you don't mind me asking you what you thought? It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I want to apologize if you feel I was out of line for anything I have said now that I've told you about my situation. I hope I haven't offended you. ↑ |
| Name: Trent to PJ | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 4:00 AM |
| Looks like we are on the other side of each other's situations now. I'm sorry I can't give you any good advice about how your son feels because my mom divorced my dad when I was three, so it's just been me and my mom for 14 years. So you didn't offend me and any way because you have a good reason for divorcing your husband. I have no idea why my mom divorced my dad. She won't give me a straight answer. I don't see anything wrong with him. He's funny, pretty smart, and not abusive. All she keeps saying is that they always fought. Although she never even gave me the chance to see for myself. That's kind of why I don't like her having a boyfriend because my dad is such a good guy. Unfortunately right now, I haven't seen him in a few years. He usually sent me a plane ticket to visit him every summer since I was 5 years old. I had lots of fun times with him and his side of the family. Right now I guess we are both a little scared to really even talk to each other on account of the akawardness. Another unfortunate thing is I don't really have any strong memories of seeing my mom and dad together. In one case, I say your son is lucky for having his dad around for so long. In another case, it's unfortunate for him to see you and your husband divorse in front of his eyes where it will probably scar him for the rest of his life. You shouldn't feel guilty about giving me advice because (this might sound crazy) you have been my only source of relief through this hole thing. I'm sorry that your son resents you for divorcing your husband. I'd hate to say this, but I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about his attitude unless you were to get back together with your husband. Whew, that's a lot of typing!! ↑ |
| Name: Trent to PJ cont. | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 4:18 AM |
| Oh I forgot about your daughter. She is probably okay with you dating because she's the same gender. I'm okay with my dad dating because I'm a guy. Also he had been living with 4 different woman in Wichita, KS since he divorced my mom. I even have a 9 year old half brother. Even though my dad isn't with his mom anymore, at least he gets to see him all the time. He probably knows my dad better than I do. I don't know. I guess it's just been that way since the beginning of time. You never told me about your mother. Did she date someone after her divorce? Were you okay with her dating? ↑ |
| Name: M | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 8:08 AM |
| I had the same problem when I was growing up. My mom started having boyfriends when I was young. Most I couldn't stand and many I argued with. I disapproved also! I understand how you feel but when I look back on the way I acted I had an attitude but never let my mom know how I felt. Try to communicate with her because if you just walk around upset with an attitude, she might just think it's because you are a teenager etc... etc.... You are almost 18, I would start thinking about what I would want to do when I am older. Focus on school and a career that will get you out of the house. Just in case your mom has her boyfriend move, you will be out on your own. Any plans for college? Just talk to her. Try to because that is one thing I regret. Take Care and Keep Us Posted! ↑ |
| Name: pj to Trent | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 1:17 PM |
When I was 17 and right before my graduation, my dad came home to tell me he was divorcing my mom. My mom was abusive to me when I was little. She had a serious gambling problem. She would contantly lie to my step-dad and put me in the middle of her situation. At the time, I worked at a bank part time and went to school part time, part of a co-op program through school. Well, my mom tried to have me get letterhead of a bank officer so she could type her own letter, sign it and send it to my grandfather, who banked at the same bank. She was stealing money to try to cover her gambling expenses and I knew about. Needless to say, I refused to do such an act for her because I knew I could get into serious trouble. When my dad told him he was divorcing her, my heart rejoiced. I didn't like being with her. We didn't get along at all. It started in my sophomore year, when she started accusing me of doing wrong. She said the only thing I would ever amount to was being a slut working at McDonald's. Needless to say, I will never apply for a job there because of her words. She thought I was lying about where I was, such as football games, school dances, etc.... I spent most of my high school years grounded at home unable to do fun activities with my friends. She would never give me the chance of being responsible. So, that's when I decided to divorce (lack of a better word) my mom. When she called to have me come over to my grandmother's house, who lived in town, she wanted me to ask my dad when it would be ok for us to get our stuff out of the house. By the way, I grew up in the country, had my own horse, and my own vehicle to drive. I was very comfortable where I was living and didn't want to move into town. Back to the story, I stood up with one foot in the door and the other ready to run, afraid of what she would do to me but I told her, I wasn't leaving the farm. I was staying with my dad. Oh, buddy, did she get bent!!! She had the nerve to come into my work at the bank and accuse me in front of customers that my dad and I were fooling around. I was devastated!! As a few years past, I tried visting her right after my daughter was born. I thought maybe since she knew she had grandchildren, she would want to see them and be a part of their lives. I was wrong, she was very cold hearted. Then, when she found out I contacted my biological father, she decided to cut me out of her life totally. It wasn't until my 5 year high school reunion when I saw her again. She was bartending and was pointing me out to the other bartenders that I was her daughter. She said, we should get together and have a barbeque. That never happened. When I had a conversation with my biological dad and his sister, the clued me in about all the terrible things my mother did to me as a baby/young child. For example: I was told and it was confirmed by a doctor, that I had cigarette burns on my tongue, arms and bottom of my feet. My dad said he caught her fooling around with other men. He popped her in the nose while catching her in the act. That was when I was 3 and didn't meet my dad until I was 25. All those years, she told me my dad had a serious drug problem, he was dead, he was in prison, he was blonde, etc., etc... all a bunch of lies. Then, she met my step-dad when I was 4 and thought she saw dollar signs and hooked him line and sinker. Well, she tried taking him to the cleaners financially, too. Fortunately, at the age of 37, she got her G.E.D. because she dropped out of school her sophomore year and put herself through nursing school. Today, she is a nurse at the local community hospital. However, I've been told by several people, she has a prescription pill problem, too. I ached and longed to have a responsible mother in my life. It isn't until now that I realized, she is who she is and she will never change. Personally, she is not someone I want my children to be around. It's sad but the kids don't really ask too much about her. They seem to trust my judgement. Yet, my oldest son didn't believe the stories until my biological dad's sister verbally talked about past in front of him. Now, he has a different understanding. As far as my mom dating, I didn't know to much about her life and what she was doing. She did say she had offers from other men wanting to marry her but she wasn't interested. I guess because she's been through 2 divorces, I don't know.
I'm sure it has been tough on you not having your father a full time in your life. Did you ever wonde why he didn't make more of an effort to be a part of your life? I felt that way about my biological father. I thought my dad didn't really care about me. Of course, when I was 10, my mom and step-dad had my last name legally changed and told me they couldn't get a hold of my dad. My dad said he didn't know anything about it until after it was done. Something sounded fishing about that subject.
Anyways, I shouldn't have written a novel. I'm glad to hear that I haven't offended you and I'm able to help you. Sounds like we have a lot of similarities. If you want to, you can email me: [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Taylor | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 6:36 PM |
| my mom is doing the same thing too. and i hate her boyfriend he is a complete butthole and iv been through alot so just hang on and try to destroy his life like rip up his his house /water/checks and just be so hateful to him make him want to hate you and just try to make it out that you will be his worst nightmare ok thats what iv beeen trying to do butlook him straight in the eye and tell him that it works trust me i live in united states in tennessee ↑ |
| Name: Trent to PJ | Date: Aug 3rd, 2006 10:20 PM |
| I'm sorry to hear that your mom wasn't that great of a mom. That makes my advice for you totally useless because you didn't experience that same gender thing I did. I'm also sorry I can't really email you because I suspect my mom checks my emails. If you can, just add me as a friend on myspace, then we can talk all the time. It might be kind of weird for me being 17 and you being a full grown woman, but I like talking with you about what goes on around here. That's some story you got there. Your story makes my story look like crap. lol. The other person who knows about how I feel about my mom is my grandma. Unfortunately, she see's things different then I do. When she was younger, she was in the same situation with my great grandfather. She wasn't alone though because she has a sister. I have to go through this alone, and I really don't know who to talk to about it. Oh also to Taylor, school starts here in Sacramento, California on Wednesday, so I will be occuppied. ↑ |
| Name: olive | Date: Aug 21st, 2006 8:12 PM |
| i probably can't give much advice to this, but i would like to let you know that there are other people out there that can relate to this :( also, i don't wish to be rude but the post that rebecca submitted :'how do you hate your mum and dad?' is ignorant and obviously inconsiderate to those in a less fortunate situation.To James-i hope you can talk to your mum and let her know how you feel and i hope your situation improves ↑ |
| Name: Kay | Date: Aug 21st, 2006 10:07 PM |
| IF you hate your mom:s boyfriend?How old is he?" ↑ |
| Name: to James | Date: Aug 21st, 2006 11:07 PM |
| you are 17 grow up your mother has a right to a life as long as she is taking care of you feeding you and putting a roof over your head just shut up and let your mother enjoy life ↑ |
| Name: Miley | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 8:27 PM |
| Name: Miley | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 8:30 PM |
| Name: to miley | Date: Aug 22nd, 2006 9:22 PM |
| I love my parents too even when they punish me im 17 how old how old our you ↑ |
| Name: Me | Date: Aug 29th, 2006 5:03 AM |
| Name: fantasy girl | Date: Sep 1st, 2006 6:43 PM |
hey ,litsen i understand that your sad&scared but u have to set & talk to your mum & tell her u feel thats the only way ,she have too understand that this is to tuff 4 u so go 4 it
bye wish u luck ↑ |
| Name: Leanne | Date: Sep 2nd, 2006 1:27 PM |
| Hi i have a 17 year old brother who is your age and im 19. MY situation is very similar to yours. MY mum had an affair and thats why my mum and ↑ |
| Name: Leanne | Date: Sep 2nd, 2006 1:37 PM |
..sorry i accidnetally pressed submit.
WEll my mum had an affair and that why my parents split, it was 3 days before Xmas. MY dad became severely depressed and um refused to cook for him and we had to sit infront of him eating out tea while dad had to make himself toast. my mum seemed to puish him for soemthign she did. Then dad got even worse and started not returning home and taking anti depressents. Mum would tell me and my brother she was 'goign out with our aunty' then we would look out then window and she would run into another mans car. When dad moved out(yes mum got the house and the kids) we lived on our own for a while just the thress of us and it was nice. Then her boyfriend started comgin round and within 5 months he had moved in and invaded our home. MY mum has changed she is no longer the sweet caring woman, she constantly scowls and swears, just like her new partner. She slags off my father telling my and my brother that he has a great life without us and that he would never want us cause he just goes to the pub.But he doesnt he sits alone in his one bedroom flat, lonely. She tells us he lies to us about having no moeny and that he doesnt want to be apart of our life even tho he loves it when we see him and he continually tells us how proud he is of us. My brother and I are alone, we dont have family days out anymore its just mum and her boyfriend, they have been abroad 6 times in 18 months and have a new car new conservatory, new livign room, kitchen bedroom...but when we ask for £5 she tells us she has no money and to ask our father.
My mums boyfriend has never wanted kids so everyone constantly asks mum 'how is your boyfriend doing??you know, having to adjust to this life, i bet its hard' woopdi dooo how hard is it for him, no one aks how me and my brother are. No one from my mums side of the family acknowlegdes my dad .. i hate everything at the moment! and everyones situation is different so you can just say 'well i dealt with it, you deal with it'
If anyone wants to chat please email me [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: emma-o7 | Date: Feb 7th, 2007 11:45 AM |
| i no how u feel i am goin thru da same thing now but my mum told me that she is no longer my mum and never wants to see me agen i dont no why there is just so much hate between us she thinks its because she lefted me when i was to n some of it is but we have argued n talked bout it so many times but the hate is still there i dont no what to do or what to say. tnx ↑ |
| Name: James31 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 12:03 AM |
Hey, this is the original James.
I posted this a good half a year back.
I just want to make it clear to everyone that i carried on battling, but i came to understand that in divorce, it's hard for everyone.
I matured, and i not only fully understood my own point of view and feelings, but also my mum's, my dad's and everyone else in my family. My mum does have the same boyfriend still, but he's a nice guy, i realise some people have it alot worse.
I give you these words,
there is always light at the end of that tunnel. Keep on going, as one day, that smile will come back on your face. I promise. Just dont give up.
(p.s, i apologise for losing my old account, so if my name comes up differently, that's why)
peace out xxx ↑ |
| Name: James31 | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 12:05 AM |
in addition to this, i am thrilled with how this thread has developed. I had no idea it would go down so well as a place for teenage angst to vent its fury.
I posted my first message to start this thread in steaming anger on a late rainy, dark school night. I sit here now in a beautiful new house with half of my family and a smile on my face. It all works out great in the end.
Please feel free to continue using this thread to vent. It's important to let it all out.
Love to all xxx ↑ |
| Name: stevie | Date: Feb 11th, 2007 4:03 PM |
| i feel for you . hope my boys never feel like that seems to me there stuck in there own world.your going to be a man soon . try to learn from this so thet you are the better person when you have a family. try to move on an focus on you . you need to be healthy an strong. go to sshool get good grades. you matter an you need to move on. they will hurt later when they see what they have done. my boys r 4 an 7 i try to do whats best for them. you need what best for you. ok you need a guy to talk too write me. ok i will listen ↑ |
| Name: kELLY | Date: Jun 30th, 2007 1:47 PM |
| Name: jdourt | Date: Jun 30th, 2007 5:42 PM |
Turnip and Its Hybrid Offspring
Much confusion surrounded the origins, even the identity, of turnips and rutabagas, or "Swedes," for a long time. They are distinctly different species.
Most varieties of turnip are white-fleshed and most varieties of rutabaga are yellow-fleshed, but there are also white-fleshed rutabagas and yellow-fleshed turnips. Rutabaga leaves are smooth like cabbage leaves, while those of the turnip are somewhat rough, with sparse, stiff "hairs" over them.
The most significant difference between them, however, is in the make-up of their mechanisms of heredity, the structures of their individual cells. The turnip has 20 chromosomes, while the rutabaga has 38. And thereby hangs a tale-the tale of the origin of the rutabaga.
Study Indicates a Turnip-Cabbage Cross
Recent botanical detective work indicates that a rather rare kind of hybridization between some form of cabbage (18 chromosomes) and turnip (20 chromosomes) resulted in the new species, rutabaga (20 + 18 = 38 chromosomes).
No one knows when or where this occurred, but the new species was probably first found in Europe some time in the late Middle Ages. There was no record of it until 1620 when the Swiss botanist Caspar Bauhin described it.
Turnip (Brassica rapa) is of ancient culture, many distinct kinds having been known to the Romans at the beginning of the Christian Era. Some of those varieties bore Greek place names, indicating earlier culture and development by the ancient Greeks.
In the first century Pliny described long turnips, flat turnips, round turnips. He wrote of turnips under the names rapa and napus. In Middle English this latter term became nepe, naep in Anglo-Saxon. One of these words, together with turn ("made round"), became our common word "turnip."
Man appreciated the usefulness of the turnip during the prehistoric development of agriculture, and the plant was so easy to grow in so many places that it became widely distributed all the way from the Mediterranean across Asia to the Pacific.
The European types of turnip, our commonest kinds, developed in the Mediterranean area. The basic center of the Asiatic kinds is in middle Asia, west of the Himalayas. There are also two secondary centers-eastern Asia and Asia Minor.
The European type of turnip was grown in France for both food and stock feed at least as early as the first century after Christ.
In the England of Henry VIII, turnip roots were boiled or baked, the tops were cooked as "greens," and the young shoots were used as a salad. (In parts of our South today turnip leaves for greens are called "turnip salad.")
The turnip was brought to America by Jacques Cartier, who planted it in Canada in 1541. It was also planted in Virginia by the colonists in 1609 and in Massachusetts in the 1620's. The Indians adopted its culture from the colonists and soon grew it generally.
Since colonial times the turnip has been one of the commonest garden vegetables in America. It is primarily a cool-weather crop, suitable for summer culture only in the northernmost States or at high altitudes.
European varieties of turnips are biennial. One Oriental variety commonly grown here, however, called Shogoin, will go to seed in its first season if planted in the spring.
A few varieties of leaf turnips (no enlarged root) such as Seven Top are grown only for greens. The leaves of the turnip are usually rich in the minerals and vitamins that are essential to health, but the roots have a relatively low food value. In this country the roots are usually eaten boiled, either fresh or from pit or cellar storage. In Europe kraut is commonly made from the sliced roots.
Rutabaga Also Called "Swede"
Rutabaga (Brassica napobrassica) gets its name from Swedish rotabagge. In England and Canada it is commonly called "Swede," or "Swede turnip." The French called it navet de Suede (Swede turnip), chou de Suede (Swede cabbage), and chou navet jaune (yellow cabbage turnip). It was known in the United States about 1800 as "turnip-rooted cabbage." Although common names suggest a Scandinavian origin, this is not certain.
Rutabaga was apparently known on the Continent many years before it was grown in England. It was little known in England in 1664 when it was grown in the royal gardens. It was used for food in France and southern Europe in the 17th century. Both white and yellow-fleshed varieties have been known in Europe for more than 300 years.
The rutabaga requires a longer growing season than our turnips, but, like the turnip, it is sensitive to hot weather. Its culture is therefore confined largely to the northernmost States and Canada and to northern Europe and Asia. It is a staple crop in northern Europe, but a minor crop in America and in the Orient. It is more nutritious than the turnip, chiefly because it contains more solid matter ↑ |
| Name: sophie | Date: Jul 3rd, 2007 12:53 AM |
| mines da other way round my dads got a WIFE!!!!shes a total bitch and she pins you down on the ground and tells you to setlle down...so there probably are worse situations and heres some advice talk bak to him or say he should dance and when drunk people dance its HILARIOUS...so just go with the flow and you'll be fine..ps if your mum likes him she likes him and she probably thinks u do 2 and u could tell him and your mum privatlry ↑ |
| Name: April | Date: Jul 15th, 2007 4:27 AM |
| wow. hey trent and james, its like totally the same with me, and im 17 too. my moms bf is over here like every night, they talk on the phone for hrs multiple times a day including in the middle of the night. they sit so close on the love couch making out it makes me sick. on of my mom's bf's kids is on pot but he lives w his mom. They're always dumpin his 9 yr old kid on me and i have to babysitt him w/o knowing where they r. sometimes my mom says she's goin for a walk that should only take like 15 min. but she's gone for like 6 hrs. she got back at like 1 in the morning and said she went visiting. how stupid does she think i am. she even invited him to the fireworks on July 3 and July 4 for out independence day holiday thing. so i didnt go cause he was goin. i luv fireworks but i missed the yrs fireworks bc she just had to bring him. she said that i was a selfish brat and that i just care about myself and dont want her to be happy or have any fun. today i locked myself in my room and she tried to break in through my window. she couldnt get in and she started saying how im a brat and how im not a part of her family anymore and that i should just go live w my dad. what pplz dont understand is that we hate our mom's bfs cause theyre always around them, they make out infront of us, leave us alone wo telling us where they r, and they dont pay any attention to us at all, they see their bf as their hole universe. And we dont mind our dads having a gf bc they dont make out infront of us, their brains dont totally melt when theyre around their gf, and they pay loads of attention to us to make sure we wont hate them. ↑ |
| Name: ella | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 4:02 PM |
| my mum tells me to tidy up my room but i cant cause i wanted to play a game with my bestest friend and just because of all of that ↑ |
| Name: ella | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 4:10 PM |
| i hate my mum she makes me ill i cant stand her, she tells me that i have to take things up stairs and other stuff?she makes me cry,and you might not believe this but im only 9 years old thankyou for listening,goodbye? ↑ |
| Name: mizzescalante | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 7:21 PM |
| i just think you need to get over it and i am sure your mom can take care of herself. what do you expect her to do not date because you are upset about that?????? no way she is a grown woman and can make her decisions herself. you mom is now enjoying her life and i think you being upset about it is being selfish. you will one day understand this when you grow up. ↑ |
| Name: mizzescalante | Date: Jul 18th, 2007 7:23 PM |
ella get over it you are oung and should be listening to your parents. you have the rest of your life to play games with your friends i think you can go and clean your room when your parents ask.
one day when you have kids and you tell them to clean there rooms are you going to be ok if they say no? i dont think so. get over it and clean your room. ↑ |
| Name: keisha | Date: Jul 24th, 2007 3:16 AM |
| I hate my mother because she have a drug problem. ↑ |
| Name: N/A | Date: Oct 2nd, 2007 5:54 PM |
Hi James,
My mum has a boyfriend now too. I know exactly what you're going through. For first reasons, is he that bad? Think of all the reasons why you don't like him. Thought of that? Alright, go on the next step. Spend more time with your mates. It'll really take your mind off things and you can relax and have a bit of fun. Also, you've accepted the fact that your dad has a girlfriend, but WHY NOT YOUR MUM? Think through the situation... Have a talk with your mum and tell her all the reasons why you're not comfortable about this and speak rationally and calmly, without any yelling, screaming or physical action. Take turns to speak and try to at least understand each other. Try to understand your mum. She must have been pretty hurt when your dad got himself a girlfriend and moved out, and your mum needs a man to support her. I know what your thinking, it should be you! But you're going to university soon, and not going to be around, and soon you'll move out too! So speak out. TODAY. GOOD LUCK!! ↑ |
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