| Name: edee | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 4:50 PM |
| Hi, I am 42 and I have all teenagers and for the first time I am actually staying home with them. It is such a new experience ↑ |
| Name: Jane | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 4:53 PM |
| Name: Deb | Date: Mar 29th, 2006 5:38 PM |
| THANK GOD!!! I was going to start my own as well--I cannot believe the psychotic entries on this site. I simply want an intelligent conversation with someone in a similar boat (you know, great husband but every now and then you still have to vent about them...). I am 37 with two sons, one 3 1/2 and one 15 months. I'm also pregnant (barely--6 weeks and lousy history with keeping them) and hopeful! Please send me your e-mail and/or another means to talk if you are interested. ↑ |
| Name: Kathy | Date: Apr 1st, 2006 2:37 AM |
| I love this site! I just found it! I'm older with children too! ↑ |
| Name: ana | Date: Apr 20th, 2006 10:48 PM |
| mom in 2000, I have a 1 year old and 3 year old ↑ |
| Name: Y | Date: Apr 22nd, 2006 8:54 PM |
| I am 44 now and had my first one 1 year ago. I think I was blessed, although before I knew I was pregnant I thought it was menopause!! Then the Ob/Gyn started with "advanced maternal age", which makes you feel so uncomftable and instead of feeling like a future mom, they see you as a future grandma!! Plus all the statistics they talk about that make those 40 weeks very stressful. Once I decided that God send us this blessing and I had to trust him and have faith, then I enjoyed my pregnancy. Our son is very healthy, active, normal and lovable. I decided to stay at home and put on hold my health profession career and it was the best decision. I am enjoying being a Mom. ↑ |
| Name: Debbie | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 6:14 PM |
| I'm 40 with two boys 5 1/2 and 3 1/2. Happy most of the time but wondering at the moment why i can't figure out my 5 1/2 year old ↑ |
| Name: Addie | Date: Apr 26th, 2006 10:39 PM |
I'm 38 years old and have 8 children ages 19 down to 4 years old. I'm in great shape and no one ever guesses I've been prego half my life. My family is very active in sports and we recreate as a family unit. My 19 year old is just now wanting to start to venture outside our little group. That's ok and sad at the same time. He's a great kid.
Their names are Mike, Tim, John, Travis, Clay, Blaine, Jack Henry and Lizzie. ↑ |
| Name: Debra | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 12:00 AM |
| Addie you are awesome!! How great and truly blessed are you!! I really think if the parents are active- thats the key to keeping a healthy family! Any advice you can give on how you keep your marriage healthy with all those kids around? Although- its probably not too hard to get a babysitter when you have one at home!! Those date nights must be at least a little bit easier to come by! ↑ |
| Name: Addie | Date: Apr 27th, 2006 3:30 AM |
| I'll give you the advice my husband and I agreed uponed when our first was born: We were a 3some. We brought this child into the world without his or her consent. Our children have been by oursides everyday since. We don't have babysitters and we choose not to leave them with grandparents. That's not to say the kids and grandparents haven't asked. We wouldn't deprive either one of their right's to know each other. But to ask for time off - we don't. Parenting from our perspective doesn't allow for time off. Our private time is after 10:00pm probably in bed. But now, our 19 year old sits on the end of our bed when he comes home (his curfew is 1030) and tells us about his evening. That could take until midnight. My husband and he talk until I kick them both out of bed. Guess where they go? To the family room to play pool. Guess what? That's my birth control. ↑ |
| Name: Irene | Date: Apr 29th, 2006 5:47 AM |
Hey Addie,
i need to ask u something?
is lizzie the last and only girl?
did u have 8 kids cause you were trying untill you got your girl?
woh let me tell you that i agree with debra, you are truly blessed and an awesome lady i bet also,
wtg and good for you, you are the richest woman i know, how much fun your xmas and easter and every other day will be for all of you,
we have 3 boys, another boy on its way, im by the way almost the same age as you, we had kids late, But we want to keep trying untill we get our girl But Ill give up after 6 though!
its funy cause i get told the same thing, that i dont even look like ive had kids,but difference is ive had half of you lol
take care addie and god bless you, ↑ |
| Name: Addie | Date: May 1st, 2006 1:18 AM |
Irene, yes Lizzie is our last one. And yes she is our only girl. No we weren't just going for a girl. We needed a full team of whatever plus the members on the bench. No not really, we just knew that when it was time to quit, we'd stop. In fact, our goal was to have them all before we were 40 so that when the youngest was 18 we wouldn't be in our 70's or 80's. The way it turns out we have a few years before we retire to make sure they are all settled. I have the gut feeling that teenagers need their parents more than when they were little. So new moms, my advice is that if you need to work right now, just make sure you feel comfortable with the daycare arrangements. I've been fortunate enough to stay home, but I am able to bring in an income while being at home. Trust me - teenagers are more impressionable than your little ones.
My boys are very protective of Lizzie. She can be the cutest little lady you'll ever see and turn a 180 and flatten one of them on a dime. What's funny --- when she get's done being a tomboy, she'll turn and say, "Please excuse me, mama." I think her daddy taught her that but won't fess up. Yes I am blessed. ↑ |
| Name: Jayne | Date: May 1st, 2006 1:35 AM |
| Really! How do you manage? Do they have chores? What kind of organizational rules go on there? ↑ |
| Name: Addie | Date: May 1st, 2006 1:56 AM |
| My husband and I talked about having kids and planned our future. I think this is the difference. We designed our family. Everything we do is on purpose although not always perfect. We do everything together. That is starting to change because we have 10 personalities in our home and as the kids grow up we sometimes feels some compression. However, we do everything together. When it's time to get up and start our day, we all get up and start our day. It's not complicated but its routine. It's something we have done for 2o years. ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: May 1st, 2006 9:53 PM |
E,
Hi, I'm 38 and have a 9 mo old little girl. Prior to becoming pregnant I worked full time as an Emergency Room Nurse. I think that being a stay at home mom is a lot harder, but more rewarding. I'm sure I'll go back to work someday... Just not anytime soon.
E, if you don't mine me asking what part of the country do you live in? I have found that depending on where you live having children when your in your 40s is very normal.
Stacy ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: May 2nd, 2006 12:15 AM |
| Stacy - it's funny you said that staying home with a baby is harder than working in an emergency ward! :-) I live in Nova Scotia, but only close to 4 years now. Before, it was Vancouver / Boston / Eastern Europe :-) So I can't really say that I've belonged to a certain locality. Have you? Do women give births later in life where you live? With me, it just happened that way - I became really ready for family life by 38. Cheers to late bloomers! :-) ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: May 2nd, 2006 4:02 PM |
E.
I've lived in Utah, Colorado, Washington, & currently live in Bozeman Montana. In Utah it is normal to have children anywhere from 18 - 45... everyone seems to be pregnant there. In Colorado it was the 20 -30 y/o having babies. Washington (by Spokane) it was the 15 -25 age group. In my birthing class I was on the average of 15 years older than everyone else, including the instructor! In this area of Montana I have noticed most mom's appear to be older than 35, so I feel "more normal" here.
I know what you mean when you say "ready for family life at 38". My mommy clock never started ticking until 37. Knowing the risks increase with age. I discussed becoming pregnant with my husband & he was ecstatic that I was considering getting pregnant. I never really was the Mommy type, but he was always the daddy type. But, then I became pregnant and could not think of anything else other than my baby.
Sometimes I am envious of the young moms because they have more energy, their bodys go back to pre-preg shape quicker & people don't ask if the baby is their grandchild. But, as a whole us late bloomers usually have it pretty good. We are secure both emotionally & financially. We have a secure sense of self, & lots of lifes adventures already under our belt. We are not filled with the what if's. I plan on doing it again :) ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: May 2nd, 2006 11:03 PM |
| Wow... what a difference in pregnancy patterns. Never noticed that before. True, younger mommies get their bodies back in a snap (I'm struggling with that right now) - but I liked how you put it - no "what if's" - that's huge. Did somebody ask you if your daughter was a grandchild? I've never gotten that, though my husband is quite a number of years older. I think nowadays women in their 40s are quite youngish looking. So were you married for quite a while before deciding on having a child? Good for you that you are planning again. I wanted mine to be very close in age, to have built in playmates. They have 19 mo difference. They are now 15 mo old and almost 3 years old - and already playing with each other (mostly running after each other, climbing, jumping, gross motor things). I've heard that children are mostly desperate for friends when they are around 3, 4, 5 years old - so up to 3 years old difference is optimal. I myself have a sister with whom we have 12 years difference - and while we love each other, it always felt like we belonged to different generations. ↑ |
| Name: Sara | Date: May 3rd, 2006 4:24 PM |
HI I am 27 and 8 weeks pregnant but my sisters pregnant and is 36yrs old and a bout 17weeks prenant.
I'm a little worried for her she recieved her results back today from her tests for down syndrom and they have told her she is 20% out 50% she has to go for more test, has any one else been through this? ↑ |
| Name: Dee | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:14 PM |
| I am 38 and having my first. I have two six year old through adoption. I am staying home with them this summer. ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: May 3rd, 2006 7:20 PM |
E,
Yes, a cashier in Utah made a comment " what a cute grandbaby" I had. I was so shocked all I could say was "Yes, she's a cutie".
My husband & I had known each other for ]7 years when our baby was born.
I'm also struggleing to get my pre-baby body back. I had a c-section so there's that lovely little bulge above & below the scar (YUCK). I really would like to lose so weight before getting preg again, but I also would like them close in age so they can be playmates. So, I have to get on the ball and really start to do something about the "baby fat". The sad thing is I'm so busy making sure she eats nutritiously, that I just chug down a soda pop (sugar + caffeine) to keep going.
So, how hectic was it when your second was born? Did the first one understand mommy spending time with the new baby or was there jelousy. That is the one thing that worries me. Having enough time for two little ones under the age of 2. I wouldn't want one of them to feel left out. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive to what little ones feel emotionaly... I don't remember what I felt when I was 2 :) ↑ |
| Name: E | Date: May 3rd, 2006 11:41 PM |
Stacy,
What a grossly indelicate (ignorant?) person. I guess they can happen in life, don't take it too close to your heart.
About the weight - I felt like I was pregnant for 3 years, since I didn't quite return to a good shape in between pregnancies, and still have extra 10 -15 lbs to shed. Why is it so hard after giving birth? I had no problems before kids keeping diets and being fit. I guess, too, the fridge is too close.
I had my share of uncertainty, thinking how I would manage 2 babies. The strangest thing that happened was that I felt much more relaxed and at ease once the baby came. I was telling everyone that I couldn't believe that it felt easier with 2 babies. What happened, I think, was that I stopped being overly preoccupied with baby 1, just let go of that tension since there was another being needing more care. With baby 2, I knew already what to expect, and was much calmer when he took his daily crying spells. So overall, I found myself even reading books (!!!) which never happened with baby 1. For the first 3-4 months baby 2 slept for considerable stretches of time, so it was as if baby 1 and I were by ourselves, as before. About jealousy... If you look at your daughter - she probably takes everything around her as if it should be that way, without critisizing. If a new piece of furniture appears, she may look at it with curiousity for a little while, and then she'd go about her life. At 19 mo, it wasn't much different from that. She was too small to even grasp what happened. She had the same toys / bed / TV programs etc.. For a while there she was taken aback by baby 2's crying, but then she got used to it. Later, when he could sit they'd spend time together in a baby pool outside (in summer) or on a beach - she was taking his existence as a matter of fact by that time.
When you are a first time mom, it's like blazing a trail for the first time and it takes more (all?) of your energy. After another baby the road is already there, the mothering is not a news anymore, so it's easier. The extra stuff that you have to think of is how to contain two things in place in a store instead of one, how to answer two demands at the same time etc. The rewards are plentiful - they often play together, freeing my time and genuinely enjoying each other's company. They have identical laugh/giggles that makes my heart melt. My son is looking up to my daughter with stars in his eyes, as if she is the wisest person in the world (at the ripe old age of not yet 3 years old). He learns skills so much faster than she did (learned to climb the slide on the ladder side instead of on the slide side at 15 mo, my daughter took 22 months to figure this out, only when she started going to a playgroup she did learn from her peers, my instructions didn't matter much).
Not without some problems, of course. There for a while my daughter was taking everything from his hands, any toy or object. She'd do that to any child, it wasn't because she was jealous, it was her developmental stage. Now they are pretty much both into the toddlerhood stage, so it's even easier since I can manage them as a single unit - they both want the same, at the same time etc. On the whole they are good kids, not much problems with jealousy / hate. My daughter having gone through the "terrible twos" has had her share of the "naughty chair", my son still is the sweetest person in the world, though he is getting close to that stage. ↑ |
| Name: Debra | Date: May 4th, 2006 12:39 AM |
| Stacey I so agree with you! I have two daughters 18 months apart and they keep each other occupied. Its such a relief. Not that I mind playing- but you can only crawl on the floor so long! E you are going to love having another. You'll see. And don't take that person to heart- look at taylor on american idol. he is only 28! I think its worse when your in a grocery line and they ask you when you are due and you already had her! Yup, that would be me!! LOL girl!! ↑ |
| Name: Stacy | Date: May 4th, 2006 6:02 AM |
E,
You are a wave of calm energy sent my way.
Thank you ↑ |
| Name: Addie | Date: May 4th, 2006 5:36 PM |
| Stacy, I don't know about different parts of the country having more babies. I know different religious groups who possibly stay close knit are against bc and so may have more children. We just wanted a big family. My husband and I work from home and so we are allowed a few extra privileges so to speak. We move about every three years to give our kids exposure to different cultures. Right now, we are in Hawaii just over from San Diego. This move however was not planned. We were offered a beautiful home on the beach to house sit for two years so we all talked it over and it was unanimous yes. We can see all the activity that goes on at the Pipeline. It's more beautiful than we had ever expected. So we are fortunate in an abundant of ways. We homeschool all of our younger kids. And the oldest is now taking entrance exams to go to the University of Hawaii. That's a little challenge however we are all helping him study. I only wish all moms and dads knew what they were doing and what an honor it is to be a parent and wonderful friends a famiy can become. ↑ |
| Name: jean | Date: May 11th, 2006 6:27 AM |
| Hey, I guess I'm not your usual response, but I have an18yr.old, 16 yr.old and 13 yr.old. and I have been going thru menapause for many yrs.. since I was32.I just need some help. I stay at home, by choice. ↑ |
| Name: concerned mom | Date: May 11th, 2006 3:41 PM |
| Hi Jean . Im 44 and I have a 16 yr old and a 8 yr old.I haven't gone to a Dr. yet ,but I also feel Im going through the early stages of menapause What are you symptoms. Why don't you start a new topic about menapause? ↑ |
| Name: Diane | Date: May 17th, 2006 2:17 AM |
| IŽd love to chat with some women thinking about having babies after their forties ↑ |
| Name: angie | Date: May 18th, 2006 1:48 AM |
| I'm new to the net and looking to make friends. I'm a 36 yr old mother of 3 and just found out that I have cancer. I'm home bound because of the cancer being in my foot and having to keep it up and not being able walk at all right now ↑ |
| Name: Layne | Date: May 18th, 2006 2:25 AM |
| Im 42 and have a 9, 11.yr old also 24 yr old. I know, I know, i could be done. but you should really feel sorry for hubby he's 53 ↑ |
| Name: qoh | Date: May 18th, 2006 12:52 PM |
| i have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and i am only 21. i stay at home every day and would like other mums to chat to. ↑ |
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