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Name: Ashley | Date: Jun 16th, 2008 4:50 PM
Well, I can relate to you, I just got maried this April and I am now 11 weeks pregnant...Go figure. My husband, 28 years old, decided that he wants to start acting like a teenager again. He is constantly with his 20 year old cousin, come home late from work almost every night and does everything possible to not be left alone with me. He invites his family over more than twice a week, they end up staying at my house till it''s way past my bed time, so I end up going to sleep before my husband does almost every night. Do you think h is trying to hint something or is he just a jerk? 

Name: Susan | Date: Jun 19th, 2008 1:15 PM
My husband does not like to kiss. He says it's not me it is him.
Our anniversery was yesterday and I told him the day before I wanted him to take me somewhere. At that same moment he said here is your card do you want it now, I didn't have time to get you anything. He also said if we go anywhere I have to be back early that morning to go to work. Needless to say our anniversery was spent fighting. 

Name: Kay | Date: Jun 24th, 2008 3:31 AM
My gosh I feel exactly like you.. I'm not sure what to do!! 

Name: lisasing | Date: Jun 25th, 2008 2:06 AM
Hey,
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Name: Ashley | Date: Jun 25th, 2008 2:00 PM
Does anyone have advise on ths topic? 

Name: sadwife | Date: Jul 6th, 2008 6:58 AM
actually, have same problem, no kids, im 26 and my husband 29... were married for 5 years now but just this day were only friends. i feel so sad cos i still love him but were always arguing, i thought those are only lesson to learn but some changes happened he never meet the feeling i want from him not in our sexual things but how he treated me as a wife, just a simple care and kind words in times of our downs but he didnt tried never in our relationship, that why im tired and hes now free. weve done this for how many times but this is the serious one. im now broke, never been pregnant i guess he need to find somoene else. its k. 


Name: CAROL | Date: Jul 8th, 2008 2:20 AM
AFTER BEING WITH HIM FOR 13 YEARS HE TELLS ME HE DOES NOT LOVE ME AND HAS SOMEONE ELSE...PLEASE HELP 

Name: Ashley | Date: Jul 8th, 2008 9:04 PM
Carol, if he says he does not love you anymore and has someone else, it's time for you to be strong and move on. Remember that you were brought into this world without his help, 13 years is a very small time in a person's living span. You can do so much more for yourself. Starting all over is scary, but can also be very exciting. Do him and yourself a favor, go and get pampered at a spa, but some new outfits, and start going out with friends. You do not need a man in your life to be happy, but if one decides to come back into your life, you will know that you can always fullfill YOURSELF without his help. Goof luck to you. 

Name: Ashley | Date: Jul 8th, 2008 9:06 PM
Lol...Please excuse all of the type-o's, as I am at work and trying to write as fast as possible. 

Name: youlover | Date: Jul 9th, 2008 8:09 AM
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Name: shaz | Date: Jul 10th, 2008 12:38 PM
Just me i know exactly what you mean buy my husband has told me he doesnt love me and needs a break I am beside myself and dont know what to do. He sometimes makes me feel loved and that everything is going to be fine and then he will say Im moving out soon we have 3 young children and I feel I am already a single parent but he is still supporting me and I have lost my self and feel I am only here for him. 

Name: Arlene | Date: Jul 12th, 2008 10:42 PM
I feel what you are going through. I just found out my husband of almost 14 years has been having what is so far, only an emotional affair with another woman. We had a long talk last night and she says he's not sleeping with her. He told me he no longer feels that I am his family or that he wants me to be the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He says he still loves me, but he's not sure he's in love with me anymore. He says we've had great time together, but feels I haven't been supportive for him in some hard times he's had with his job situation. He just went through major surgery and I was the one that took care of him through it all. I just don't understand, I had no clue. I still love him with all my heart and soul and I hurt so deeply and am so devastated I don't know what to do. Sometime I just want to go to sleep and never wake up to avoid the hurt. I hope time will help, we agreed to always be best friends and I hope he will come to fall in love with me again since he said he's not sure if he's in love with me, not that he is not in love with me. Unfortunately, there is th other woman, who he says he dosen't know if he will keep seeing since he just dosen't know what he wants right now. I just love him so much, I don't know what to do. 

Name: marta | Date: Aug 4th, 2008 4:41 PM
hi, was in a relas.... just lik that n after getting upset wit myself for years and years n trying my best to worked out i desided to leave.... it has beeing a year n half n he never thought that i could possibly do it... well, i prove him wrong.... i have 2 children and a nice life on my own.... well, i have someone with me and he is a lovely gentleman.... the only problem is that i spot every single mistake that he makes or every wrong behavier that he has and this is ruining my life with him... any sujestions... ta 

Name: debbiea12 | Date: Aug 7th, 2008 6:12 PM
I myself was in that situation. He got to where he no longer wanted to make love to me. When he would say that he loved me it was like he was forcing hisself to say it. When he looked at me it was as if he was looking right through me. He would rather spend time with his friends than with me. So I just up and left him. We've been separated for 2 years. During our separation I met another man and moved to Tx with him and he's wonderful. I never knew that love could feel so good. I have filed for divorce so that will soon be over. But turns out that he was cheating on me and moved her and her kids in shortly after I left. He said since I couldn't give him children (due to infertility) that he had to find someone who could. That hurt worse than the fact that he was cheating on me. Now my fiance and I are searching for a surrogate. I would say just straight up ask him if he still loves you and wants to be with you and if not save yourself alot more heartbreak and end it. 

Name: Stef | Date: Aug 11th, 2008 4:57 AM
I feel exactly the same way... I've only been recently married and got pregnant a few months after. I love my daughter to bits but I can't seem to understand why my husband neglects me emotionally. Like you I have needs too. I don't have any advice but I hope it makes you feel better that someone else is in a worse position. 

Name: Missy | Date: Aug 21st, 2008 5:48 AM
Yes, I hear you! 

Name: loseyou | Date: Aug 22nd, 2008 3:17 AM
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Name: maggie | Date: Aug 23rd, 2008 10:39 PM
My husband and I haven't even been married two years, and he won't have sex with me. It's been nearly a year now. 

Name: lostinlove | Date: Aug 25th, 2008 8:11 PM
I'm in a similar situation and feel like I am going to lose my mind! I am 47 years old and have been married for 15 years. We have two children 14 and 5 years old. My husband works at night with a rotating schedule so he is not always off on the weekends. While I've been complaining over the years about wanting him to be at home at night and his not seeming to want to have sex with me, I thought everything was okay until my 47th birthday. A younger man started flirting with me and I loved it. He is attached but I am very interested in the things he say wants to do with me (SEX). When I don't hear from him I feel like my world is falling apart. I've lost weight, look good and am attracting a lot of attention. My husband is now coming on to me but I feel like I don't want him. The intimacy has long been gone and I've told him it has nothing to do with sex. He's trying but I'm not interested but I know I have to try. I want to be with this other person but it seems he is now ignoring me. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through this I do wish i wasn't going through this. Any suggestions. 

Name: Heather | Date: Aug 26th, 2008 12:51 AM
I wanted to put in my two cents. While my husband is not the one falling out of love, but me,I have been in the shoes of many ladies here who have written. I have been with my husband for 7+ years,married 3. Our relationship was never easy. He was burned (he says) but the last relationship so when we started dating it was hot and heavy then he decided he wanted an open relationship (was I stupid???)? Well I agreed, as the time passed I started dating and suddenly he realized oh she's leaving. Over the next two years we dated but he was into internet porn, and once again I stayed. During all this he'd never tell me I was pretty or smelled good. He never said he loved me or cared about me or missed me when he'd travel. In addition I gave up things for him, such as having children (something I clearly regret). This is our 2nd marriage for both and we are 7 years apart (hes 42 I'm 36). Anywhoo....over the years the non emotional, non sympathetic, non compassionate man that I fell in love with....caused me to fall out of love with him. Now that he knows we are in trouble, and I have asked for an information separation (we can't afford to live in different houses so we sleep in different rooms and he also travels and is gone 30 days at a time so a separation is easy for us...not emotionally). He is now graspnig at straws and throwing the I love you, I miss you, you're beautiful words around so much I'm irritated. I don't want to be physical with him, even though I find him extremely Sexy (he looks like george clooney..yummy). The thing is I'm so emotionally turned off by him I cannot be physically turned on by him. I am writing this to you ladies because the shoe is on the other foot for me. Ask your partner what has been missing and why he fell out of love with you - you have a chance to salvage you relationship if you want to try; however understand it's not you that failed but your partner!!! In my example I'm the one to blame because I allowed my husband to go on year after year after year not being all that he could be because as he says "he was scared to get hurt" It takes two to make it work and two to break it.....just take your time, talk to friends you trust but not every friend because you will become overwhelmed with one extreme to the other. Only YOU know how much your heart can take emotionally. Best of luck to all of you!!! 

Name: JANET | Date: Aug 30th, 2008 7:44 PM
You are so having the same problem as I am. My husband of 32 years died suddenly last year. I never loved him romantically (we had 3 sons...I did my wifely duty and he was satisfied). Several months later I met up with the love of my life, my high school sweetheart. Everything moved so fast. I was moved into his house within weeks. Anyway, he is so different than he was. Its been 37 years but back then he was such a passionate lover. He has told me he loved me several times. He comes straight home from work, he tells me (sometimes he gets off early but how do I know which days that is). There's so much more... your answer, keep working on him a little at a time. never nag or he may find reasons not to be around you at all. 

Name: livelaughlove5621 | Date: Oct 9th, 2008 7:03 PM
I am in relatively the same boat and not sure of what to do or what to think. i have been married for almost 5 years with two young children 2 and 5 and have been trying to figure out if my husband really does love me anymore. im not sure what to do with any of it anymore. he got laid off from his job in early september and just started back to work today at a new job. before that happened i worked part time nights and saturdays never sundays. well during this time of him being unemployed i switched to 2 days a week and two nights a week and i seem him less during this past month than i did with us working opposite shifts. if i was home he was gone and vise a versa. i just dont know if he does love me anymore or if he ever did. i asked him a few months ago why he married me if this wasnt the life he wanted or if he wasnt ready to grow up and be a husband and father and i directly asked him if it was becasue of our son who was 7 months when we married, and he said that had a lot to do with it, he didnt want to not be around as his son grew, he didnt want to be that guy. so i cant help but feel that we are only together becasue of the kids. i ask him and he says he loves me and wants to spend time with me, but then does the opposite. he is constantly 'helping' his father with one thing or another so hes never here due to that. he is a wonderful father and supporter of our family but i just dont know if this is all just a matter of time. please help! 

Name: MichelleB | Date: Oct 10th, 2008 2:51 AM
I think honesty is so important. I'm recently divorced so I know when something is not right. He cheated! 

Name: Do it | Date: Oct 12th, 2008 8:57 PM
well, I bet he is going to change now that he got shot in the back. He may just leave the party scene once in for all and see what he always had in front of him . 

Name: Livy | Date: Oct 31st, 2008 6:45 AM
Does anyone know what Jal decided to do or how it worked out?

Reading this, I feel almost exactly the same way. I have a 2 1/2 year old who is my whole world and another baby due in late Dec. But, my relationship with my husband makes me feel like a non-person.

When we had our first baby, I had a job that I loved, paid good money and was emotionally as well as intellectually stimulating. The problem was it involved a lot of long hours and some travel. Before we had the baby, my husband agreed to help take of the baby and to find ways to make sure I could keep my job.

But once the child came it was a whole new story. Instead of being supportive of me and my life, everything became about his needs, his job and the fact the child was interfering with his ability to work. I decided to put my best foot forward and quit my job to help emotionally support my husband and to ensure that our son got the kind of love, attention and care he deserved. I thought this was the right thing to do for our "family"--even-though I never wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom.

As soon as I stopped working it was like I became a second class citizen in my husbands eyes. Every night there were complaints that all I did all day was sit around. When in fact I am taking care of our child and doing roughly 80% of the household chores. And, he complains about every dollar I spend. He can buy himself cigars, expensive clothes, a luxury car and high end liquor, but I am given a hard time when I spend too much at target on pregnancy outfits. But, a few months ago he had enough money to buy a motorcycle!

At best the man ignores me and our son when he gets home and just sits on the sofa drinking watching TV. At worse, I get a lecture about how too many toys are on the floor or how I should I have made the beds better or the dishes have not been put away the way he likes it.

I finally started a small business part-time to give myself some level of adult interaction and even-though it brings in $40k a year, he calls it a" hobby" since that is not nearly as much as he makes. And, he makes it perfectly clear that he has NO interest in day to day happenings of the business or anything else that might happen in my life.

He explains over and over how I am still not doing anything and that my days are like "holidays" (a direct quote)-- as if running a small business, raising a 21/2 year old, running the household and being prego all at the same time is a holiday. Its a statement that totally undermines what I do for the family and makes it clear that my actions have NO value. Of course, he would never take the baby to the doctor, change a bed sheet, or wash the floor. And, its a special treat once a week when he reads our son a book or spends even 15 minutes coloring or playing cars. As he explains "those things are just too boring for me to do."

I really want to leave him. But, I am worried about my son and how I will support the both my son and the new baby on the way without a full-time job.

I have explained how isolated, hurt, marginalized and down-right low his negative, snipping, hyper-critical and self-centered behavior has made me feel--probably too often. B/c I think he is deaf to my concerns and counters that all I do is complain about how he never thinks about anyone but himself. I think its a fair comment from him, I do spend about 60% of our conversations harping on my feelings, but not matter what I say, how I convey the message or much I try and find to proactive solutions to improve our interaction nothing happens. He says he will try, but the very next day is more about how I just spend my time doing nothing and how my "hobby" should make more money--so long as I can still do everything around the house and make sure he does not have to lift on finger to take care of our son.

In someways, i could take it if he was only negative to me and only ignored me. But, he has almost no interaction with his son. And, even at 2 1/2 years old, I can our child knows that his father is just not interested in him. Frequently, he tells the child to get away from him or yells at our son when he is crying and sends the baby to his room simply because he does not want to pay attention to the child. The worst is when the baby gets in front of the TV if dad is watching and he gets yelled at and starts crying.

I could handle having a relationship where we simply shared a roof and left it at that. But the constant nasty and verbally abusive behavior from my husband is too much to take every day.

I need help, but what decision do I make? I also feel like maybe I should just put up with it since there is no physical abuse. But, in my heart when the kids are grown and its 20 years from now, I know there will be no relationship with my spouse and then it will just be the two of us. The only way I make it through a day is the joy and happiness of my son.

Has anyone left their husband in this situation? How did it turn out? 

Name: asley | Date: Dec 19th, 2008 2:08 AM
i feel the same way the only thing i don't have kids plus am living with his mother and it feels like him and his mom i controling my life and every movement. Plus he got a better job no it's seems like he could do better now i don't no what to think 

Name: ashley | Date: Dec 19th, 2008 2:10 AM
if you ever feel like talking about anything [email protected] 

Name: molefi | Date: Dec 23rd, 2008 10:41 AM
i do hear your story and i think i undastand what u are going thru. Its times like these where a person would file for divorce but your situation is more complicated as a result of the children and the fact that your husband does not make your life a living hell. What i think people dont undastand is that you are not happy with the way your marriage has turned out, and i can guarrantee u one thing, your husband is definately cheatin'. I kno this might not be the best answer to your question but you r not the only person going thru this right now, maybe u need to sit down with your husband and talk abt it and if he refuses to adhere to your problem then maybe u should let him go. 

Name: pamela3 | Date: Jan 13th, 2009 4:15 AM
I know how you fill, my husband has became so distant from me the last 6 months. I have 3 children that are not his & i sometimes feel that it is putting a wedge between us lately because my 14 yr old son is such a hand full. My husband barely talks to me anymore & has been yelling so much. I don't know what to do or where to turn.
Pamela 

Name: invisibleka | Date: Jan 13th, 2009 5:41 AM
hi new to site, new to chat rooms for that matter. i feel your pain. every story i read seems to hold some truth to my story as well. i am lost and confused. second marriage, togrther 11 yrs married 8. 17 yr old girl from first marriage, screwing her up and a son of 2 1/2 with present "husband"? that is the worst part i would probably be gone by now if not for my son. of course i too have no access to funds so scared is not the word, i just feel like there is another chapter in my life that i need to address. dont i deserve to be happy i just turned 40 on jan 1st and husband is 50 one foot in the grave and i want to live i want to be loved and be made love to i want to laugh again and talk and again be "happy". still afraid to give up what i "have". why are we so afraid to find happiness? i have yet to find it but is the grass greener on the other side? im sorry i digress and rant and it feels good. by the way i also suffer from depression and am manic but no pill will make me happy and i just want to run. he tells me to go just go but i have zero, nada, nothing. it makes me resent him even more. any takers of this mess? 

Name: emily hawkins | Date: Feb 6th, 2009 11:57 PM
He never says I love you no more. 

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