| Name: Theresa | Date: Apr 26th, 2009 8:31 PM |
I have been married 25years. Great marriage. Know in our small community/town/county as one those "pefect couples. I truly thougth it, too. I have bever been a jealous person. Always felt confident in my marriage, comfortable and secure in marriage. Alwyas felt loved. Then wham - out ot the blue he starts speding time, callling, text-messaging, having lunch, going to yoga classes, to the gu, with this 39 year old girl. (He's 64.) and by the time I realize what is happening, he is so non-committal to me thathe tlls me he hasn't love me in a long time because I have gotten fat, and he preeives my weight gain as a pesonal affront. (He has not alwys been slim, just got that way due recently, due to being diagnosed as diatetic.) I was devastated - in shock - never saw it coming, and just couldn't understabnd. This girl he's spending time with is short and fatter than me.
Gone through four months of hell. He nows says he loves me, and would never leave me.
But - he will not admit that what he ha with her was an affair......simply because they didn't have sex. I say it was an aemotinal affair, and that it hurts me just as bad.
he thinks I'm crazy and over-reacting.
What do I do.
I see a pcychiatrist - just because I have no desire to live. Don't want to kill myself....just have no desire to live.
It'segg-shelss and indiffernt politenessin our house.
We have accumulated a lot in 25 years. He is very powerful in our town. Has ever Judge, attorney, prosecutor, the sheriff.....everyone in his back pocket. I have no one.
What do I do.
My child is 24 and sides with her DAD.
MOM IS JUST A CRAZY, MEAN, BITCH. ↑ |
| Name: VR | Date: Apr 27th, 2009 1:59 AM |
I have being married for 24 years and my husbands told me this weekend he is no longer in love with me.
How does this happen?? ↑ |
| Name: jen | Date: Apr 30th, 2009 7:56 PM |
Nothing dont chase him - dont do it I did and it doesnt work.
If he hasnt loved you in 3 years then why did he take the chance of having another child with you. he is a selfish person or atleast handling this very selfish.
You cant make someone stay with you or love you, but sounds like he has his mind made up. It sucks and I have been there, but there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you were never compatible to begin with. ↑ |
| Name: Lonely Wife | Date: May 1st, 2009 5:05 AM |
| My husband and I have been married for 17 yrs. and ow we don't hav sex anymore. What am i to do. ↑ |
| Name: amanda | Date: May 1st, 2009 11:19 PM |
Hello, I am in the same situation, or well almost the same, is a very long story...we are a young couple. We got married two years ago, he's from spain and we went to live there...things started to go wrong, i couldn't get a job, missed my family, felt lonely, he was working all day and even went out of town for business, but still we were "in love" or at least that's what I thought. Between us things were fine and I still felt the love...over time I started making comments about coming back to the states and even proposed to him that we did it by this summer, he was reluctanct at first but then he seemed to be on board and we started to get ready...Now I come to the conclusion that he only said ok, to calm me down...months passed and things started to get worse...every time we would talk about it he would get really mad , he even cried whenever I told him I was leaving, or that I wanted to leave ...we had horrible fights...however he always said that If I left he would soon come a
fter me because he loved me and I trully felt this......one thing led to another and I bought a plane ticket and came last February, he got furious, cried, etc....we agreed that it might be something temporary and that he'd either come with me or I would go hack with him...as days passed he started to grow more distant and we didn't even speak by phone, mail or chat, nothing....it's been a horrible two months, and just yesrteday he finally said it..." I don't love you anymore...I have not loved you in a while..."I believe that there's people behind this, his family and friends, and of course the fact that he didn't want to leave his country but I am willing to go back for him because I love him...and if I finally came was because he totally made me believe that he would come after...the point is, he doesn't love me anymore...I feel devastated, I love him with all my heart and I feel that I will never find anyone else, he's my whole world and it may sound pathetic but it is the truth...I felt sad while I was in Spain for many reasons but not because of him and I just wanted to improve our situation...Pleaase tell me what can I do, how can I get him back, do you think there might be a chance for us? I know it's hard but I miss him so much, I feel like I am even getting sick my body can't take it anymore and sometimes I even feel like killing myself...I am trully desperate...We have been married for two years, we used to be friends firs, have no children and have always had the most amazing conection in everything, things started to go wrong after we moved to Spain...he's said that he doesn't love me, that things just didn't work between us, however, he has not asked me for a divorce yet even though I have mentioned it...help... ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: May 1st, 2009 11:51 PM |
| read a few posts and seems that 99.9^% are women with this issue of the spouse leaving. Well i am a spouse thinking the same, i;m the husband in this case. I am trying hard not to pull the trigger on this event but everything has been done on my part to make this work. I work my butt off leaving the house at 6am and getting home at 7 pm, not by choice, but by the request o fmy wife to move in with her parents to care for our son while we work, we put our house up for rent since its not a good time to sell. I dont go out and party with friends, i don;t sit infront of a tv drinking beer all day. I work and find side work to give her and my son everything i can but theres no longer any romance. As our counselor said one time, she;s to busy being a daughter, sister and mom. I dry clean my clothes, i pay the bills, i maintain the vehicles, i help her dads business which she works for and has the flexibility of a life time to do what she wants, i eat at jack n the box ofr breakfast and carls for lunch and maybe taco bell for dinner because she's to busy to make breafast or dinnner. My only source for stress relief is offroading which i don't even do anymore and fishing which i try to do once a week but has been more like once a month. There hasnt been any intimicy since last year late november, any other guy would have foiled into infidelity but i am trying so hard to make things work but even though we sleep next to eachother i feel lonelier then when i was in the army traveling state to state or country to country. What is that i should do or ask to get some kind of conclusion or resolution? ↑ |
| Name: ria | Date: May 7th, 2009 7:41 AM |
| my husband has online sex.i recently found him looking online for females in town just to have sex.....I have no clue what to do....he denies any of this .....and puts the blame on me saying u feel it this way because u have a suspicious mind.... I have a year old son.... and we are two years in this marriage.... should i remain in this marriage hoping things will get better.... because I still love him a lot.....or should i move out and bring up my son all alone? ↑ |
| Name: campbell | Date: May 20th, 2009 4:00 PM |
| hi my ny huband nane is vaquez he 25 year old ↑ |
| Name: confused | Date: May 23rd, 2009 12:08 PM |
| I am in my second marriage. I have been with my husband for 7 1/2 yrs, married for 4 1/2. I have two older daughters, he has a younger son and daughter. When I feel in love with him I thought it would be forever, he made me feel away no one ever has. We have had our ups and downs dealing with exs and step kids. We went through the stage of being jealous and non trusting. Everytime we hit a wall we would talk about it and realized what needed to be done. Sometimes when we would argue he would say very mean/hurtul things. So many times he would threaten to leave because he didn't need this. He was in the hospital 6 months ago, which happened to be our anniversary (thought he was having a heart attack), I stayed by his side, slept in a chair over night. He kept telling me how I was the best wife, how much he loved me and realized how he needed to take more time with his family and not be so focused on work. Three months ago we went on vacation I asked him if he still wanted to be married (because I felt something was wrong), he said yes, that he wanted to work on us and that his issues are within himself that he needed to handle. A little over a month from getting back from vacation he tells me that he doesn't want to be married anymore. All he cares about is his kids and his job. I wasn't a priority and wasn't in his thought process. He is totally against counceling because he said he has no feelings for me at all. He is now sleeping in another bedroom, leave the house around 5:00am and comes home between 10:30-11:30pm. Never calls me and won't even look at me. He did tell me that he has a lot of regrets and he needs to make things right. I know all he cares about is his 14 yr old son. Yesterday he went to a golf outing and for the first time didn't come home. I am so hurt/angry/confused...everything he is doing to me he did to his ex wife. He also promised me over and over again that he would never treat me the way he treated her because he loved me so much. How can someone just turn off their feelings? I don't know what to do???? ↑ |
| Name: SallyG | Date: May 28th, 2009 5:35 PM |
| Long thread--all singing the same sad song. I could add my same story to this but it wouldn't be any different. Did perseverance and hard emotional work pay off for any of you posters? Did all of these relationships end in divorce? Updates please! ↑ |
| Name: ASHLEY | Date: Jun 9th, 2009 7:53 PM |
| My husband says he loves me so much, but he doesn't know if he wants to be married anymore. I'm devastated. He is being so indecisive. One minute he ignores me and the next he is being so loving. I don't know what to think. We start counseling tomorrow and Im not sure if he has already given up. ↑ |
| Name: Cindy | Date: Jun 11th, 2009 5:34 PM |
| I wrote an article in here and the heading is married 14 years and husband cheated. All of you sound like me. My husband would tell me that he loved me but was not in love with me. The in love part that they are talking about is the attraction. The attraction he had for me went away. All along he was saying these things to me he was have an affair. He supposedly ended the affair and we are trying so hard to make it work. Its been 6 months. Beleive me it is hard to trust again and forget all of the things I found out. If anyone would like to chat send response and I will give you my email. ↑ |
| Name: Elaine | Date: Jun 14th, 2009 8:12 PM |
| I would really like to hear more of your situation. My husband swears he's not involved with someone else, I don't believe him. I can't understand how someone's feelings can change if they really love someone. I could see if I cheated on him or did something that was unforgivable but I put my heart and soul into our relationship. It is so hard to live in the same house as him. He comes and goes as he pleases. I am the one that is taking care of the house, bills, "his" dog, etc. When we were a "couple" he never wanted to go any where, always said he was too tired or that he would rather spend time with just the two of us. Now he is never home. ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: Jun 17th, 2009 5:31 AM |
I'm still holding on, i don't have the heart to leave my son, but i am running short with patience, we sleep in the same bed but feels like i am sleeping with a stranger i refuse to converse with. At this poiint i feel like i want her but i don't need her. This year to date we've had sex 2 times. How can someone not expect a man to go else where to look for sex. Luckily i keep myself busy and have hobbies to spend my time on. I work hard, and play very little. We've moved in with her parents and now i feel like the outcast, she seems to be right at home. I feel like things happen for a reason and maybe this is my cue to step away from the marriage but continue to be a great dad for my son.
Hurts to think i am leaving him but i don't want to be miserable all my life. My wife does what she can with our son, and her family (parents and 33yr autistic brother) but when i feel like i am being pushed away or like i am of no importance to her especially, i feel like i need to leave. For example i am working late tonight at the office and have not recieved one call.
And to think i left the military for this, i think i enjoyed dodging bullets more.
Guess i should just get back in and hope for the best. I see couples hugging and kissing and it just makes me sad to think i was never this lonely when i was single compared to now and being married. ↑ |
| Name: bobbie | Date: Jun 27th, 2009 2:43 PM |
I am still learning the hard way, we fight to keep the happiness we ONCE had with him; is it worth it?
Take a good look at yourself in the mirror you are beautiful and you are smart, change and not knowing what the future holds for us is scary, but we can overcome this temperary helpless feeling and embrase ourselves i am worth more than this and i deserve happiness life is short lived don't waste it.
I am not gonna look for someone else i am going to discover me and my passions i am working on myself changing unhealthy habits and finding a new beginning. Good luck ↑ |
| Name: heather | Date: Aug 5th, 2009 6:45 AM |
| i am 8 months pregnant and about to have a baby any day i also have two other children my husband is a well a drunk he breaks promise to me and my girls all the time and the drinking is getting worse and all because of his brother anytime his brother says jump he asks how high... his brother is ripping my family apart and i cant help but be angery and hurt more by his brother than him because he knows what i go through with him when he comes home drunk.. i find myself falling out of love with my husband because he isnt the same person anymore but because of my children i stay around but when do i draw the line and say enough is enough am i hurting my children more by staying with him? i just dont now what to do i feel trapped and very alone with nowhere to turn ... ↑ |
| Name: Patty | Date: Sep 8th, 2009 5:39 AM |
| Oh come on! Give me a break! He hates me! I am tired of it . I want out of it! Help!!! He hates me!!! I hate him!!! Mean to me!!! Help!!!! ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: Sep 15th, 2009 11:08 PM |
| I dont know about the details of the stories but i know for my point of view on this topic. i must live in a fantasy world or something but.as my wife and i have talked about divorce we have set a time line, if we can't work with eachother or make it work by th eend of this year that we will go our own ways. Plain and simple we are not happy. When i get home from work i just want to see a smile, hug or kiss and conversation, i get a hi and thats it, she says shes tired or whatevr but when our son shows up from therapy or awakes from his naps (2yr 11mths) she has this glow and happiness i can no longer provide. Intimacy is no longer there, romance might be there but unoticable. We go out and have dinner or i'll take the 3 of us on small road trips to the mountains to river streams or anywhere our son can enjoy but as soon as our son is out of our sight we go back to being the boring married couple, its been 5yrs but i hate to assume what 10 or 15yrs would look like and i don't want to take a chance. I have the occassional drinks during bday parties, dinner, i don't yell or raise my hands at her or my son, i don't do drugs, i graduated from HS, joined army, got out got my BS Degree and started my career. I love ot have fun and be happy but i;m feel like i;m just an object to be called dad, husband, provider and thats it. my friends have been pushed away since we moved so far away, maybe i need friends or a divorce. ↑ |
| Name: lee | Date: Sep 18th, 2009 4:12 PM |
| hi mine is a little diferent i hyave been married 2 years and have 2 kids with my husband i honestly do love my husband but he is very mentally and verbally abusive and frankly im tired of being told to shut up you bitch being called lazy him telling me i dont take care of our kids properly(which i know he dont mean but says cause he knows it really hurts because as far as im concerned im a great mom and would do anything for my kids i feel like everytime he calls me a name part of me falls out of love with him and i feel i only stay becase the kids but i know i could do better and deserve better he had said some horrible things to me and there are days i wish he would just leave he lies constantly i have found inappropriate movies and websites on the computer that i find discuting especially having a daughter and it is such a turn off for me that a guy would be so desperate and nasty to even look at that like common ahh so grose but i dont know what to do i really want to end this ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: Sep 19th, 2009 6:18 AM |
| Its sad to read about all of the lifes you woman live, i try to pay attention and listen to my wife but its in one ear out the other. I tell her i love her, kiss her, try to hug her at night, bring roses from work from those guys selling on the offramps of the freeways and i feel like i dont exist. she used to snap until one day i had the last straw that broke the camels back, i said i am out of here this coming weekend or by the end of the month, the only difference will be a bed with more room to sleep in. She did a double take and called me that day talking about working it out, i said no, the only thing we should do is realisticly place a date Dec 31 2009, if nothing is better by then we should go our separate ways. She agreed, but now it seems like a lease expecting to terminate. All i want is to come home to a wife that has a smile on her face and is happy to see me, not a look like oh your here.... ↑ |
| Name: *LOOKING for a MAN's Opinion* | Date: Sep 21st, 2009 3:39 AM |
| Same story..."loves me but not IN love with me any more". Since June went out w/ 3 other different girls. Supposedly they approached him (because he doesn't wear his ring). 8 yr anniversary was in August...yes, last month....THEE best anniversary we ever had!... and then to find out more lies last week. He says "in the end he ultimately wants me and the (4) kids" but right now wants space to "think". Think? Think about what? Could there be a mistress pressuring him to choose him or me? I'm so confused and hurt. I have no support system because my family lives on the other side of the country. I am a stay-at-home mom..therefore no $$ at my immediate disposal. I've been crying everyday, all day for the past week. I caught him seeing the first 2 chicks (on his b-day and father's day of all days!) and he swore he wanted US and realized what was at stake. He completely skipped a 12-hour shift at work and I found out and went nuts because he lied, and that's where this all started again. Then last week confessed that after those two first girls he was seeing another one! Gets off work at 12 midnite/1 am and comes home at like 3, or 4, or 5 in the morning and sleeps on the couch...says he has no where else to go. Such mixed messages! I don't understand. Just left out of the house now: said don't know where he's going, or when he'll be back...but for sure by the morning. What does all this mean? He SWEARS he's not seeing yet ANOTHER person, but I'm so tired of being naieve and giving the benefit of the doubt. I am so sick of crying!!! In the past year he lost his job, lost his close friend (severed ties), several car accidents, got in major debt, we had a baby, was seeing other people, and now says he has no feelings left for the relationship, wants his own place and told me to "just let go...." 7-YEAR ITCH?? MIDLIFE crisis?? He's only 30. I want to make it work so bad....assuming that he's just "going thru something". Wives are supposed to be there to support their husbands, for better or for worse, right? I just don't know how much more I can take by myself. I am definately keeping Kleenex ® Brand in business. ↑ |
| Name: Bear | Date: Sep 21st, 2009 7:20 AM |
| My husband left and does not want me ↑ |
| Name: aby | Date: Sep 24th, 2009 2:17 AM |
Hello! i need some advice
my husband told me he needed time apart and he left last night and today he said he was sorry and wanted back and he was stupid so he came and tonight he said he was leaving again . he just came and ate and got clothes and said he doesnt know hes too stressed. we have a 5 month old baby and when hes around he doesnt do anything but sleep!!! please help me
all i do is cry i cant be strong ↑ |
| Name: sg | Date: Sep 24th, 2009 7:21 PM |
| My husband wants me to leave him, he told me this right after he said he wrote a suicide note today (he said he isn't ready to act and it felt good to write it all down). He says it is too sad to be with me and he is not strong enough to leave me, what do I do? ↑ |
| Name: exArmyGuy | Date: Sep 25th, 2009 12:25 AM |
| Sorry to hear your troubles, i feel like one of your husbands that all of you mention, my wife and i hit rock bottom this past weekend, arguing and asking eachother in normal tones what we are going to do, i;m not happy your not happy, and vise versa, she asked what i wanted to do, i said its not really up to me, but if we already know before we head out the door to a gathering being a bday or family gathering that we are going to make eachother miserable then we are definately not trying to make eachother happy. So i told her, as much as it hurts the only thing to do is go our own ways, i will find a place with a sibling or take our camper to some lot and live in it and see what happens. i don;t have someone on the side nor am i looking. But it sucks to come home and have your wife not smile or kiss you hello. Can someone tell me what i am doing wrong? my situation is unique above all, i live with my inlaws on a nice size house for our sons sake, we rented out our house to save money and build a house on the same property that they live on. so basically my wife is at home with her parents and sister and brother, i am out of my element but i see her in her own zone and seems i am no longer needed. is this normal ↑ |
| Name: Susan | Date: Nov 26th, 2009 11:48 PM |
I'm so sorry your husband is acting in a selfish manner. I'm sure he and his boss have discussed single-life and the boss has made his life look like the kind of life most men would love to have. "Misery Loves Company". The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. I know these are sayings we've all heard but they are truthful. If he were in the same situation with someone else he would be the same selfish person. He will tire of the single life and will come crawling back to you. Even if he doesn't you should try to accept that he doesn't love you and try to move on with your life. Believe me when I say you will get over him even if you don't want to and he will not get over you. I'm sure he still loves you but he's so attracted to a different way of life he doesn't realize what hes giving up. Is it possible that he has a lover? Is it possible he's gay? You will have the children to love you and keep you going while he will be paying child support and being miserable. The only solution
seems to be is to let it run its course and do lots of praying and trusting in the Lord to guide you in the right direction. I lived after my first husband decided he didn't love me anymore but there was a female involved. Of course he lived to regret his decision but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. God brought a man into my life that showed me that the love of my first husband wasn't love at all. I am appreciated and treated as an equal in our relationship. You will also find that special someone who is right for you and loves you for a lifetime. This man you're married to wasn't your true love and you weren't his and it's ashamed that two innocent little babies have to go through the selfishness of your husband. Keep yourself strong. Get help from a support group or a religious organization. I wish you the best of luck. ↑ |
| Name: marco_dkk | Date: Nov 27th, 2009 11:54 AM |
| Hi there it does sound not right but Im a man 40 years old love to marry a mom with kids because i cant make kids steril. ↑ |
| Name: marco_dkk | Date: Nov 27th, 2009 11:58 AM |
| Hi there Im single man looking for a wife that have kids my email is [email protected] ↑ |
| Name: Puki | Date: Dec 6th, 2009 9:22 AM |
| My husband has a female friend who is emotionally involved but of course denies it. He talks and texts her her several times a day before, during and after work for several mnutes to hours. My husband told me he loves me but is NOT is not in love wIth me. We are trying to work the marriage but I do not feel confident it will work knowng he is emotionally involved. ↑ |
| Name: C | Date: Dec 29th, 2009 8:28 PM |
| Take the chance and let him go. While you still have your dignity intacted. If you hold on, you chance your husband walking all over you and your children. Let him go, thats your best bet of getting him back! ↑ |
| Name: sandy | Date: Jan 28th, 2010 10:12 PM |
| my husband says I need to grow up . We will be married for eleven months and on Sunday he told me can't do our marraige any more . what can I do about this ↑ |
|
|
